Just one? LOL!
Let's go with weight. It's an ongoing issue, and I will talk about it a bit.
Back in the day as a child, I was small. I don't think I started getting heavier until maybe junior high.
I used to jokingly blame the lack of recess for my initial weight gain. During elementary school, you had morning, mid-day, lunch and afternoon recess. They fit some fitness stuff in there once in a while - sit-ups, running, pull-ups - but most exercise I got when I was a kid was when I got to run around like a kid and play hopscotch or dodgeball or tag or whatever.
When I got to junior high, the bell rang after the first two periods of class, and everyone just milled about, and I thought, "Is this it?"
It was around that time they made P.E. a class which I didn't care for. They made you to calisthenics and stuff that an aerobics instructor would make you do. I never really responded to that class unless we were playing a game. Games I can do. Being told that even though it rained and the track is 99% mud, but you have to run anyway? - that I didn't respond to very well.
Now I never really got big during school, per se. I rode my bike or walked everywhere so I reasonably healthy. During college, I rode my bike a lot to and from work/home.
It wasn't really until after college, and I moved back from the East Coast that I think the weight issue started its slow snowball death of me and my self-image.
Part of me felt that the weight issue stemmed a bit from my mother's "clean everything off your plate" ruling... and she never served small portions. Also my mother is not the most healthy of cooks, but now that I'm older, I can fight off the heaping portions of food, instead of when I was a kid I had to do as I was told. Plus my mom loves with food... so that didn't help my waistline at all. But I think the whole "eat everything" mentality is what cultivated my ability to polish off more slices of pizzas than other girls or can handle that double burger while everyone else is having a salad.
I have found it easier to deal with my mid-section when I lived with roommates and had my own living space. Having my own space leaves me to cook my own food and make meals that aren't fast food or completely bad for me. Now I'm not the best cook, but to have the means to make my own meals is a definite plus to getting in the game of slimming myself down a bit. At present, I don't really have access to a kitchen to cook/prep/store my own meals. That leaves me with the only options to buy non-perishable items or eat out a lot (which dents my pocketbook tremendously).
And I'm not blameless in any of this. Part of the problem is also my slothyness. (Yeah, that's a word. Sure it is.)
There are days where my insomnia kicks my ass leaving me enough energy to handle work and then make it home in time to die (sleep) for the next day and do it all over again. Also my work schedule - even though somewhat regular now - is still so random that it leaves me with odd times to workout. (Oh yes, I joined a gym, but I'll get to that in a minute.) I need to strengthen my mind to literally kick my ass and get to the gym more. As it stands my monthly powerloss visits leave me quite fatigued and achey as well as nauseous... so my logic is "yeah, I'll go to the gym when I stop feeling like death." I've also been sick recently... which blows since I was doing SO well at the gym for a few weeks, but then I got sick and nobody should be lifting weights or working the treadmill when they're lightheaded, hot, and feeling like they're going to upchuck their cookies. Oh gawd, and my left left from the car accident likes to remind me that I was in a car accident which leaves me not feeling safe at the gym either.
But regardless of all that nonsense, there are just days where I hear myself whining in my head "Do I HAVE to go?" That shit's gotta change.
The weight thing is a struggle, but I know I can do it... if I just have the right tools available. Right now it's really difficult since I'm pretty much limited to options. Hopefully that will change in the next few months, but in the meantime, I am making due with what I have.
I have grown to a size that is not that large, but my dark humor would lead me to make self-comparisons to blimps and so forth. (But I make everything better with humor... and by everything I mean my extremely low self-image... and by humor, I mean booze and carbs.)
So yeah... let's see where I am later this year. Woo hoo! Go Team Slimmer!!!
Or something more positive sounding than that.
Later my lovelies.
Have Goodness!
Rae
No comments:
Post a Comment