I miss my friend J.
I met him through another friend - M - in high school. We all went to the same high school, different graduating classes. He and his family lived in Fresno at the time, and a friend of mine had a crush on him (which is how I found out about him and later met him).
When he graduated high school, he went to the East Coast for college. When I moved out there, we chatted and talked about hanging out since we were reasonably close to each other. Then when I had my emotional breakdown and was trying to find a way to move back to the West Coast, M called him to come save me. He picked me up and took me back to his dorm where I stayed for a few weeks until my plane ticket arrived in the mail. Even though I was going through something particularly shitty then, that time with him was a really great time in my life. I met his friends, his then girlfriend...
I remember going to Blockbuster to rent Grumpy Old Men since I hadn't seen it.
I remember when he took me to the airport. We rented a motel room near the airport to stay the night so we wouldn't have to deal with traffic. That night we were extremely silly. We each had our own bed, but we were literally like children giggling at every little thing, throwing our pillows at each other.
I remember it getting quiet in the dark and him telling me he was going to miss me.
I remember him seeing me off at the airport, and we reached that spot where he couldn't walk with me anymore, and we both got a little teary-eyed when we said our goodbyes.
His parents were living in the East Coast around the time he was in college, but they had decided to move back to Fresno, and he let me know that he was coming back to town. When he came back, he didn't have anyone to pick him up from the airport, so he had to take a cab to his parents' new home (of which he only had the address and had never been). I remember going to visit him, and him giving me a tour of the house.
I remember him getting me Ratchet & Clank Tools of Destruction for my Playstation because it had tons of weapons and things for me to destroy.
I remember hanging out with him.
I remember him coming to visit me when I moved to the Bay Area when I was sick. Us sleeping in the same bed. Him hearing my roommate's cat meow the word "Mom."
I remember talking to him on the phone.
I remember him telling me how he and I should get married if we don't meet anyone by the time either one of us is 35.
I remember how he got a girlfriend and some things changed... and how people thought I was being jealous, but I wasn't. I was just hurt. (Even if you're girlfriend lives in the same town as you, and you don't get to see her as often as you'd like... when your friend comes in from out of town, a friend you hardly see anymore, and you leave because your girlfriend calls and you just saw her earlier that day...)
I remember when he went to school to become a police officer.
I remember when he moved to Bakersfield.
I remember losing touch with him.
When I go to Fresno to visit my family, sometimes I drive to old haunts - my old schools, jobs, friends' houses - and yes, I stop by his parents house, the one he had to take the cab to from the airport. I keep thinking that I'll see his car (which he might not have anymore). I thought if I saw that car, I would park, walk to the door and ask if he was home. I'm not even sure his parents live there anymore. I'm pretty sure he has a lady in his life which makes me smile. He's a great guy so she'd be a lucky lady.
I've sent letters to him care of his parents. No reply. No return to sender. No nothing.
It's been a while, but I've let it go. Let him go. I'm still curious about him, and how he's doing. Wonder if he ever thinks of me. But I just wish him tons of happiness and love.
Later my lovelies.
Have Goodness!
Rae
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