Remembering is painful, it's difficult, but it can be inspiring and it can give wisdom.
A sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier times.
-Alfred Lloyd Tennyson
I'm not really sure what to write about here.
I always feel weird on this day.
I can't believe it's been twelve years. Twelve.
Was it really that long ago?
I was living in Tracy, CA at the time commuting to my job in Mountain View, CA. It was a two hour trip via train or car, but at least by car I didn't have to deal with the other commuters and had some control over my environment.
My friend (and then housemate) Chris C was doing his usual thing of riding along, reclined beside me, hat and hoodie drooped over his face catching some extra ZZZzzz's and not helping me stay awake like I would have preferred. (Boys. *grumble*)
I was driving on a side road that ran mostly parallel with the freeway but was usually less congested. It was early. The sky was still kind of grey. I was listening to my morning radio show "Sarah & Vinnie" on Alice 97.3FM when I heard the news. I think I was driving through Pleasanton, CA at the time. I remember it seeming really quiet and then... it happened.
I just felt increasingly numb not able to process what I had heard. I knew what was said but it was such an strange thing to have happened and to believe what had happened. It was so unreal.
That day was rather quiet. We got to work, and the entire day passed like a silent movie, the score being the news that was always on either on TV or the radio. Just when I would level out a bit and start getting back to some semblance of normal, I'd walk past a television set or I'd hear co-workers talking about it...
There was just nothing our world new except this horrific thing.
Gradually we coped and mended and began to accept what had happened. We were angry and frantic. I remember I had a friend living in New York at the time, but I had no idea where he was when the towers fell, and I remember calling the only number I had for him over and over again, leaving message after message. Eventually he called me back to say he was fine and nowhere near the incident, and I just wanted to crawl through the phone and hug him.
It is devastatingly sad what happened, but it was nice to see us as a people overcome this tragedy and continue on.
I don't know what else to say.
No writing. No nothing.
Later my lovelies.