Wednesday, January 22, 2014

This Post Took Two Days

"Now... where was I?"
-Leonard Shelby from the movie "Memento"

It is currently 2:30am as I write this. I should be asleep or trying to, but guess what? Yeah. Insomnia!!! Might as well be productive, eh?

Before I forget or go any further, let's get on with the updates, shall we? And since it's been a while for my writing as a whole, let me update all y'all on where everything stands at present.

So in no particular order... (drum roll, please)

And on that note... I will finish this up tomorrow... perhaps on my lunch break.

(Good Night)

[time lapse]

Here I am... almost 2am... and insomnia has made me its bitch... again.

Let me get my bearings here and see where I left off.

[looks previous info over]

Ahhh, so as you can see from the little review above... I suck.

I have mentioned before that the car accident back in February 2013 just knocked the crap out of me (and by "crap" I mean "any energy/desire/ability to write"... Can you sue someone for taking away your creative juju?), and the bump a few months later in June didn't help matters either.

As you can tell from the dates I provided, I was able to maintain a few on a somewhat regular basis (like Kai, Kearie, Arwyn and Della), but then there were big lapses of time between posts for the others... some stemming from the accident and some showing evidence of either writer's block or just plain daftness.

I want to play around with the Writers Wheels again. I had sadly misplaced the wheel tool that my brother had made me (it was in a writing basket below various other writing documents).

I need to get my writing back on track. Complete a novel. Get something published. Submit to more writing contests. Win some writing contests. (Dear GAWDS this is annoying.) I JUST WANT TO WRITE!!! Why does life have to get in the way?

I'm trying to make a change in my life. (Why did I start hearing "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson in my head?) 2014 didn't start off as great as I would have liked, but I'm hoping it's the slow burner start to a blazingly awesome new year... and a better me.

I have been monitoring what I eat and how much of it I eat (cuz gawd knows I can pack it away if I want to... I'm Southern (Redneck) and Filipino and raised on large portions of fried food and not too healthy options. Plus PMS doesn't help either.) The food monitoring has been for a few months now though I've been tracking it via an app since the beginning of December. (Odd thing was I had been looking for a food diary app that I had seen on vlog, but the one the girl had been using no longer exists. The one I'm using now - Lose It! - was one of several I had been eyeing. Then my mom mentioned my brother was using an app, and he told me it Lose It! So yeah. Small world.)

This month I joined a gym. I'm trying to start slow and not overdo it so I wake up the next day like the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz. My left leg feels loads better since the accident but every once in a while something doesn't feel right so I try to take it easy.

First day I went, I walked the treadmill for for 30min. Second time, I did an hour. Next time I went, I lasted about 30min before my feet were angry with me. (I was wearing different sneakers then, that was probably why).  I've gone back a couple times since then have last the hour on the treadmill again.

I definitely need better workout gear. As it is I don't have anything that I can really wear to the gym - no shorts or whatever, so clothes would be something to look into. Also if I could find a magical pair of sneakers, that would be fantastic! I essentially have large, wide, flat feet. The only sneakers I have now that provide any support and comfort to my sasquatch tootsies are a pair of Skechers - they have a bit of an arch and cushion. About a third of the way through my tredmill trek, the arches near the outer part of my feet start to burn and hurt, and it is no bueno. The rest of my feet are essentially fine (save maybe the occasional twinge in my left ankles and perhaps my heels... but that's part of the flat feet thing). The time I lasted 30min with the wrong sneakers, my feet hated me and my left leg was started to grumble, too. I even think my knee popped.

A doctor once told me that you should do at least 30min of cardio everyday - something to get your pulse up and makes you sweat. Right now I'm going maybe every other day or every two days, but I go the hour. I sweat and breathe heavy and my heart rate definitely goes up. I feel the soreness in my legs, so that's something. It's a good kind of pain. That whole "feel the burn" and all that.

I remember going to a convention with friends and we took a train from a friend's house we were staying at, and we had to walk to the train station from the house. OMFG! My shins hated me. One of my friends saw me lagging on the way to the train and walked with me and mentioned shin splints. It wasn't too painful... just annoying as shit and made me feel even more like an unhealthy cow than I had before.

The walking I do at the gym and the soreness I feel now... it's on the outer parts of my calves (whatever muscle that is), not directly the sides of my lower legs, but... well, I think you get the picture. This is a different kind of feeling. The shin pain was just... not good, and I wanted it to stop. The calves pain? I used to have really muscular legs in school since I walked and biked everywhere. Their still decent now, but I think the burning ache is my muscles remembering "Oh yeah... we used to be buffer than this."

I'm hoping to go back soon. The gym isn't too far away from where I live, and is 24hr which fits my random availability, but life has gotten in the way again, and I won't be able to get back to the gym until maybe Friday or Saturday night.

I went last Friday night and thought... other people are at clubs or on dates or doing more exciting/social things. Me? I'm walking a treadmill while watching the FOOD Network.

Oh yeah, that's the funniest thing to me, So the machines have TV's so you can watch shows or listen to music while working out. When I go, it's usually really late so nothing's on except reruns and informmercials so the only thing that seemed interesting was FOOD Network. (LOVE Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives.) I just think it's funny that I'm watching yummy food stuffs while I'm exercising. Granted, I can look at food, think it's tasty but not eat it... but I still think it's funny.

Work is... work. I've got a couple extra responsibilities that I don't mind having (makes me feel a little accomplished and dependable and proud - like they see me as a good worker) except my new schedule leaves me with a lot of days where I have to catch up on the stuff that I'm responsible for. Also some of my co-workers don't seem to like the way things are organized or run, but I'm just doing what I was told to do and how to do it. Don't kill the messenger! You want to be angry or complain to someone? Take it up with management.

Home. -- Landlady is going to have surgery (hysterectomy) in less than a week. She'll be in the hospital for a couple days then recuperating for a few weeks at home. Her son has been staying with us for a few days due to in town work stuff but will be helping out with the caretaking of the older gentleman my landlady cares for, but since she will not be able to lift a lot for a while, her son will be the muscle. Also an additional caretaker will be around to help take care of the older gentleman as he is having certain health issues. Before her surgery, my landlady is trying to get some cleaning, renovating, etc done to prepare for her just laying in bed and chilling while her body mends.

So yeah, this place is a madhouse... and will be even a bigger madhouse in the weeks to come.

It's moments like these that I dream of my own place. Just me and my cat. No little dogs running amok barking at the air for being air. No older gentleman who has a quiet voice (I've heard it), but yells all the time. No visitors that sleep on the living room sofa preventing me from watching TV or just sitting in the front room just because. No more poorly organized fridge and pantry. My own kitchen. My own bathroom. My cat walking around the whole place. To have people over when I want. A place for my family to visit instead of just pick me up outside when they're visiting for the day. (To have my niece run around my living room... that'd be cool.) To bake! I miss baking. To write at a desk. To have a place to go to for peace and quiet that isn't my friend's house when they're out of town, and I'm watching their cats.

Ideally I would rather have roommates, but that eventually doesn't work out for me in the long term. People move away or get other work or get into relationships... so someone ends up moving out. Also I don't like living with people I don't know. I don't mind meeting new people, but living together is a whole other ball of wax. No... getting my own place is the best option though right now (especially with the current job I have), I do not have enough fundage to get my own place. I need to build up my finances so I can get that dreamy little space for me and my kitty.

So yeah... that's where I'm at right now in life. I wrote some stuff this month. I hope to finish out the month with writing other stuff done. I only have maybe 9-10 more story blogs to update in... 9 days. Sounds doable, right?

And then there are my novels. I WILL FINISH ONE OF THEM THIS YEAR, DAMMIT!!!

So... to sum up... I'm writing, trying to write, exercising, want my own place, and want to be financially stable. (There are other wishes and all that like love and happiness, but I would feel that's inferred and/or assumed.)

And now I leave you to punch insomnia in the face and try to get some sleep before I have to get up and get ready for work in a few hours.

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Friday, January 3, 2014

Happy New Year!!!

"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.

So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, what it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever."
-Neil Gaiman

Hello lovelies!

This is just me here writing you a quick little note to say hello and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I hope each and everyone of you lovelies out there had a wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year's (or whichever you particularly practice and celebrate) and celebrated each of them the way you wanted and had a fantastically fun time doing so.

As for me?

I plan on keeping up with my writing this year (fingers crossed) though I have some ideas on what to do about this blog, etc. But that'll come with time.

My writing juju seems to have returned (praise jeebus) but end of year holidays and such made it difficult to keep up with everything. Now I'm hoping to fix that (as well as my energy levels so my body can keep up with what my brain wants to do).

I didn't necessarily make any resolutions. I'm just making some goals for myself and hopefully (again, fingers crossed), I will see them all through to success.

I'll try and write more later, but at the moment, it's almost 2am, and I need to be up early for work in a few hours so I'm going to try and get as much sleep as this insomniac can.

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae