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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Stand Back! We Have Productivity!

Vladimir: She certainly has a mind of her own.
Dimitri: Yeah. I hate that in a woman.
-from the animated movie "Anastasia"

So here I am... at the office... on a lunch break... blogging.

Yeah, that's how I roll.

We had a meeting that went from 2pm to 3pm. Then it got a little scattered, and I didn't order dinner in time and by the time I was reminded I had to clock out for my lunch break, it was 5:30pm (90min after the cut-off time) so now I'm drinking Sugar Free Redbull, eating ranch-flavored Munchies snacks, and trying to plot out this blog post as well as the next couple days.

And I was going to get curry, too. *pouty face*

And without further ado... here's a story blog update...
See that? I actually wrote something. Woo hoo. Well, I HAVE been writing... just not much in the way of these story blogs... which I feel guilty about since I miss my kids. Instead I've been working on this new stuff that keeps bogarting my brain. The good thing is that I'm writing. The bad? My kids are being ignored.

But I wrote a fight scene... so that's cool. It was for the LEVERAGE fanfic, and it was two guys against the girl character I created for a story arc. She had a fight with Eliot and went back to her motel room, and he's feeling bad and decided to go apologize, but low and behold when he gets there, he sees her door swinging open and finds her gone with nothing left but the aftermath of a fight.

Well, I haven't written THAT part yet, but I finished the fight part. There's a knock on her door, she thinks it's him, opens the door and sees bad guy #1. They fight, the room gets tossed a bit, when she thinks she can make a break for it after subduing bad guy #1, she meets bad guy #2. 

That scene ends with her becoming overcome and taken... to be followed by Eliot finding the room tossed and her gone.

...
...
...

Sometimes the scenes in my head seem WAY cooler than the words I put down on the page.

So yeah, I'm headed out of town this weekend. Tomorrow I shall be getting some energy drinks, and since I'll be making the trek with my brother, I think I'll get enough to share. I know he drinks those kind of drinks, and they are not necessarily made to taste good, so I'm sure he'll appreciate whatever I have to share.

There's also snacks and a bag. Also gotta check on cat food and vitamins and all that. Got litter last night. Got a new extra cat box (which I'll try my new liners courtesy of Leah G). Also got some extra stuff that I needed that were not trip related. I don't work until 4pm tomorrow so that just means I gotta get my ass early enough to take care of stuff and then fight my way through commuter traffic to get to work.

Man, I'm tired.

Okay, lunch hour is over. Time to sign off on this bad boy and clock back in. Hopefully I'll get some more writing done by Friday that I can be happy about as well as sneak some internet time in to post this thing.

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Monday, January 28, 2013

Short, Sweet & Lacking Accomplishment

I am Shiva the destroyer, your harbinger of doom this evening. 
-Kym from the movie "Rachel Getting Married"

So here I am. Another Monday. Another lunch hour sitting at the computer writing a blog post... with no story blog updates to show for it. Oddly though I have been putting pen to paper lately and creating... stuff.

I've been flip-flopping between my LEVERAGE fanfic and my other story/novel idea. Just writing the scenes that seem to swimming in my head. My mind can't even begin to conceive a con for the fanfic. The idea alone scares me a little. But maybe one of these days I'll give it a whirl. (That's one of the things I'm envious about the writing team from that show... they're ability to come up with what they did and make it work. It was just fabulous.)

The story idea I have is a kind of spy/brainwash/experiment gone wrong kind of thing with a character that is confused but in the end proves herself. (It's hard to explain, and I don't want to talk about it until it's a little more fleshed out.)

So then it's back to LEVERAGE which really I've been writing more of. I've thought out a scene, wrote it, then changed my mind, rewrote it... going back and forth with it. As it is, I imagine Christian Kane as the male lead in the other story I'm writing with the fanfic, and so of course it leads me to think of the show and him. I've been rewatching old episodes as well as watching fanvids, etc, on YouTube.

Yeah. I'm a fangirl and want my show back. What more can I say?

Also in surfing YouTube, I revisit old videos that make me happy... one of which is Christian Kane doing his "Top 5". So since I can't think of anything real to write about since my brain is on "luke warm close to flatlining", I will do my version of the Top 5 from this vid (and of course these are in no particular order and are off the top of my head able to change on a whim).

Top 5 Favorite Drinks
  1. Sweet Piece of Ass
  2. Bloody Mary
  3. Gin and 7Up
  4. German Apple Schnapps over ice
  5. Screaming Purple Jesus 
Top 5 Fairytales
  1. The Fisher King
  2. The Princess Bride
  3. Into the Woods
  4. The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
  5. Once Upon A Time/Grimm (<=== that TOTALLY counts!)
Top 5 Accents 
  1. Irish
  2. Scottish
  3. Australian
  4. Spanish/Portuguese
  5. Italian
  • honorary mention of Filipino since it reminds me of my childhood and makes me smile
Top 5 Reasons for Missing Work
(from my personal experience)
  1. sick (and I have to be on death's door to not go in to work)
  2. car troubles
  3. was released from a contract (this refers to temp work)
  4. switched shifts with someone
  5. on "vacation"
  • I would LOVE to say "cuz I just didn't wanna" or "it was too pretty of a day", but those aren't viable options in my reality.
And on THAT note, I think I'm done for now. (Until Wednesday, sweeties.)

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Friday, January 25, 2013

Ready For a Nap, But I'll Settle For A Novel

What's next?
-President Josiah Bartlet from the series "The West Wing"
My stomach is having issues, and it's not making me happy.

In other news, I'm okay, I guess. On my lunch break at work (Surprise! Surprise!), and I'm sitting here at the computer with a chocolate donut from Psycho Donuts for food. (Left my lunch at home and didn't feel like ordering anything from here or driving out to get something. Besides, with the way my tummy is feeling, I'll most likely be eating very little today.) The donut goes along with the Burger King tater tot things that my co-worker gave me. She ate about half and didn't want to waste the rest so she asked if I wanted them. And you know me and carbs... so of course I said yes. But don't worry. I paced myself just in case my tummy decided to object with an upchuck.

On the writing front, no... haven't updated any story blogs recently. But I have been writing in my notebook. A little bit about some random thing I started a couple days ago, but mostly this other thing - an story idea I've had for a while now. Just writing out some scenes, but even though I haven't updated my story blogs in some-odd-numbered days, at least I'm writing, so I feel happy about that.

The general overall depressive bummed-out-ness I've been feeling is still there, but isn't so strong... at least not at the moment. Right now I'm just tired. Sleep has been rather poopy as of late. I bought some of that ZzzQuil stuff that's supposed to help you sleep. You're supposed to take a full shot before bed which I've done a few times (except the nights where it didn't look like I was going to much sleep - then I took a half shot). The nights I tried it, I was already tired, but when I woke up, I felt better if not still a little groggy. The nights (like last night) when I didn't take it, litlte things kept periodically waking me up.

Any my cat? Frak me! She's whining at the wall for frak's sake. I heard her this morning. She jumped off the bed, a few moments later started to whine like she was lost, then I heard her nibbling on some kibble and drinking some water, then she went back to whining. At one point, she jumped up on the bed and crawled behind me. Just as I was about to pass back out, I heard her start to whine again. I rolled over to find her staring at the corner wall my bed is tucked into. Either she's going kitty-cray-cray or it's one of those weird scifi moments where only children and animals can sense weird ghosty demon things that regular humans can't.

Maybe I should slip her some of the ZzzQuil. Sheesh!

The LEVERAGE fanfic has been dancing around in my brain. In a way, it makes me happy and distracts me from the show being gone. I still hold out that the show (like CHUCK) will find a life elsewhere, but we shall see. Either way, I still have my fanfic daydreams that will never go off the air.

Okay. Just finished the donut. And now I'm debating on the granola bars I have in my purse.

Hmmm, perhaps now I shall share some humurous anecdotes from last night while at the office?

BC: Okay, I'm out of here.
Me: Hey, you a Niners fan?
BC: I'm not a sports fan of any kind, really.
Me: Me neither. But I was scanning through my Facebook page and saw this. (shows Instagram pic of a Niners cheerleader) I used to take hip-hop classes from her. And now she's a Niners cheerleader.
BC: Really?
Me: Yeah. She's super sweet and silly, but I will admit that she was a little distracting. I mean, look at her.

BC: Maybe she'll come back and teach in the off season.
Me: I think she moved to SoCal. (looks back at pic) She's the kind of person that makes you feel ugly just standing near her. It's like Don't look at me. I'm a troll! (BC laughs) I used to joke about my plans, like how I had wanted to workout, get fit, etc. Then I'd see some hot chic walk past me and my friends, and I'd see how everyone would watch her go by, and I'd say, "I have a new goal in life." My friends would say, "What's that?" And I'd say, "My goal is to be as hot as that chic and then stand in public places and let me people look at me."
BC: (laughs) After a while, you'd get kinda sick of that attention.
Me: Maybe, but right now? I could use some of that right about now. Then maybe after a while...
BC: You'd be putting on a baseball cap and sunglasses.
ME: Yeah. (mimes being stalked by photographers and journalists) Damn you paparazzi. I need some ME time.

Yeah. That happened.

Oh! So Jim G and Leah G were going to watch Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters last night after work. OMFG!!! It was fantastic! No, it's no On Golden Pond or some Oscar worthy shit, but oh... it was so fun. I loved it! It was like a storybook version of Ninja Assassin.

Last night one of my co-workers who was off at 8pm said she was going to see Mama (which I also want to see). So I asked her earlier today how the movie was, and she said she didn't see it, but she was going to try again tonight maybe. Then I mentioned that I made it to the movies last night and saw Hansel and Gretel. Of course I was asked how it was, and I immediately got all kinds of giggly.

Me: *squee-giggle-squee-giggle*
JC: But it looks so bad.
Me: But it was SO good!!! -- Anyone that knows me knows I love me some bloddy gore and violence... like in samurai movies or Kill Bill, that kind of thing. And there was so much of it in this movie. Oh it made me so happy. (turns to JC) And there was this troll named Edward- (JC laughs) -I want one SO MUCH!!! He's fantastic! He grabbed a guy a popped his head off. My friend Jim G said, "He bunny foo-foo'd him."

I was still giggling walking back to my car. *grin*

Okay. Lunch is almost over so I think I'll sign off on this post for now. Maybe I'll actually write some tonight. Or this weekend. Who knows? Maybe I'll just go home tonight, take some ZzzQuil and SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEP...

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Oh Me? I'm the Funny One.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.
-Demetri Martin

Happy Wednesday everyone! I'm tired.

I'm at the start of my lunch hour, and I have no idea what I'm going to write at the moment, but seeing as this is the most conscious I think I'll be for the day, I'm going to write now.

No story blog updates to report so huzzah to my lack of writing. Since Monday, I worked, fed cats, injected one with insulin, picked up friends from the airport, went to lunch with friends from the airport, dropped friends I picked up from the airport at their condo, did a little shopping, hung out with another friend, had dinner with that friend, texted another friend that I wasn't able to see her that night, and then went home to have Hulu give me the finger and not let me watch my shows even though it was letting me moments before.

Yeah. Good times.

Lunch with friends was at Panda Express, and my fortune was something like "You will never have to finances again." When I read it, I laughed and showed it to my friends. After they read it, I said, "So that means I'll either become independently wealthy soon OR I'm going to die." I had been keeping that fortune in my pocket, but I think with all the jeans I tried on yesterday, I'm assuming it fell out in one of the dressing rooms.

Bummed since I kinda wanted to keep it.

On a different note, clothes shopping sucks ass.

I was never into girly stuff like clothes shopping. I've never really been into that sort of thing. I usually just go shopping out of necessity. What's that? Pants don't fit anymore? The soles of your shoes fell off? It's summertime and you don't have any shorts? Time to go shopping!

My lack of interest in shopping is part "don't see it as a recreational hobby" and "I'm so ginormous, what the frak is the point?"

I think I started noticing my body and not liking it when I was young... maybe early teens. I jokingly blame the lack of recess in school past my post-elementary years. I remember my first day of junior high and during our first "break", I just looked at everyone milling about thinking this is it? 

And P.E. can bite my ass. I'm the kind of person that if you try to force me to do something, I not only do not want to do it, but all the joy is sucked out of it when I have to do it... like for school. Like with reading. I LOVE to read, but when the teacher would say "Have the first five chapters read by tomorrow" or the fact that they choose the book for you? Ugh. It became taxing. With P.E.? I'm more of a running around, climbing trees and jungle gyms, playing dodgeball, flipping around on bars... kind of person. Whoever said I had to run four laps around a dirt track in a certain amount of time to please the masses can suck the wang of a dead goat. You have to do this many push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups, etc. It's mental. I'm all for health, but I'm also for encouragement for what you can accomplish.

I can't count the number of times I felt like a loser not being able to do one frakkin pull-up. And running the mile? I'm not a runner at all, even in my healthier days. Sure, I played tag with the best of them, but I was never one for running long distances... unless being chased by an axe murderer or a shark.

Lately whenever I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror (and sometimes any reflective surface), it depresses the shit out of me. I'm never shy about talking about how much I weigh, but I'm always told I carry it well or they would have never guessed. Then I see pictures of me and wonder if those other people were just being nice or if they were just insane and didn't know any better.

My weight usually plateaus for a while, then I gain, plateau, gain...

Yeah, I hate that vicious cycle.

Normally what I do is grab a whole bunch of things, take them to the dressing room, try everything on, and keep what actually fits and looks okay on me... which lately has been very little. And now most places are limiting how many items you can bring in with you... so it's become a test of determination versus what my self-esteem can put up with.

I met up with a friend of mine yesterday while I was at a thrift/vintage place trying on jeans. They were all tagged as my size, and yes, I know that just because it says it's my size doesn't mean that it really is due to cut, style, etc. So I have six pairs of jeans and only ONE fits me. The other pairs I get up my legs and around my waist, but the distance between the button and button-hole seems grander than Grand Canyon. At one point (which I later told my friend about), that when I tried to pull the sides together as far as they could go... it looked like an extremely soft-headed baby.

Yeah, my body depression was going the way of morbid.

Most of the time when I've undressed in order to try on another item of clothing, I turn my back to the mirror, refusing to look at my reflection due to how depressing it makes me.

There's a joke Richard Jeni used to tell (from The Boy From New York City) when he talked about working out and gym memberships. He said something along the lines of "just don't walk by a mirror when you're naked... when you walk past a mirror fully dressed you think I'm reasonably attractive. But when you walk by a mirror naked? *scream* Oh my GOD! What the hell is that? If I were in the woods, I'd shoot it and run back to my car.

I used to take hip-hop dance classes two days a week a few years back, but then I got laid off and couldn't afford classes... and then the place closed when I could afford it again. There was another place I took classes, but it was only one day a week. Then I got a job so I wasn't able to make class anymore.

My issue is I need to have fun when working out else it becomes this thing that I can't stand and won't do... yeah, perhaps that's a little selfish or dumb or whatever, but I've tried other ways, other classes, and it just doesn't work.

I've often thought that if I could just get a gym membership at a place that was open 24 hours, that offered way more dance classes than most places do now, and was able to hit the gym after work and just walk a long time on the treadmill listening to music or an audiobook. Hell, I might even try my hand at a stairmaster for frak sakes.

I just don't feel pretty.

There was a time when I did. Well, more than I do now, but I don't know. I've been so emotional lately. Before it was getting upset at things that normally didn't bother me. Now it's as if, like the seasons, my moods have shifted to where now I'm all sad and borderline weepy.

Okay, the weepy has been about various things... most recently Valentine's Day, but that's neither here nor there.

I'm just stuck, but what the hell am I going to do about it? How do I get unstuck?

The answer seems to be money. The things I want - own place, fix my car, pay off my debts - all take money. I spend a lot of time worrying over the necessary - rent, gas to get to work, food - that I don't have anything left over for the fun bits - movies, road trips... and yeah, I'll throw a gym membership in there, too.

Man, I just wish I could find some place that would let me take recreational hip-hop classes for not a lot of money all throughout the week. I remember when I took my classes back in the day, I'd come home dripping in sweat, completely exhausted, with a big grin on my face. I loved it. Just loved it.

Okay, enough of the depressing crap. Lunch is nearing its end, and I have to get back to work. I'll talk to y'all later. Hopefully I'll have a little more pep in my step... as well as my heart and soul.

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae


Monday, January 21, 2013

To Sleep, Perchance to Write?

It's true, we're all a little insane.
-from the song "Sweet Sacrifice" by Evanescence

Just started my lunch so I thought I'd take advantage of this time to update y'all on the ONE story blog update I've been able to accomplish since... last... well... (looks at past entries)... January 12th.

Dear gawd, I suck.

Oh well, here we go with my silly little update portion of this post.
And now I bow, curtsey, high-five everyone, jump up for joy... and then go find a giant cocktail to hibernate in for a while.

I'm TIRED!!! VERY VERY TIRED!!!

I'm pretty sure my powerloss and insomnia have joined forces to kill what little sanity I have (which really wasn't that much to begin with). I'm taking care of my friends' cats while they're out of town, and after going over the schedule in my head, I thought it'd be fine... perhaps a little taxing, but fine. 

I was off last Saturday - that evening being my first shift - and I skipped out on going to the meadery since I had some things I needed to take care of before taking care of the kitties. I am in desperate need of clothes, but all I managed to find were a pair of sneakers that are nice and comfy on my big-ass feet. Then I went to my usual haunts for jeans and found none that I liked or that were in my size or that fit me comfortably. (My next day off - which is tomorrow - I need to broaden my search.)

I went to the condo to feed the kitties before I trekked out to a birthday party (where it was requested I bring some vanilla ice cream). I went to Rite-Aid and brought Thrifty Ice Cream. (Oh yeah. You heard me. Holla to my childhood! Woot!) People were karaoking with the Wii-U and then later some of us played a board game called Legacy... at least that's what I think it was called. It's a card/boardgame. Pretty fun. I killed Loki once so that was my shining moment of the evening.

At the end of the night (birthday boy Jon M had to work early the next day), I walked back to my car and thought about going home, but then I found myself heading back to the condo. There I zoned out in the peace and quiet, flipping through various shows, and drinking tea. I had a headache for a while, but then it went away when I laid down. Didn't sleep. Just chilled on the couch. Then I thought I'd do some writing and sat down at one of the computers in the office.

The later it got, I just figured I'd stay there until it was time to feed the kitties again (which was at the most a couple hours). Originally I had thought to take a nap, but I never got around to it. Didn't get much writing done either, sad to say.

By the time I made it back home Sunday morning, I didn't really have enough time to get any quality sleep. I changed into some jammies, and don't remember much after my head hit the pillow. My alarm went off, and I think I got three hours of "dead to the world" sleep. I showered, dressed, and drove to work... which was a DELIGHT, let me tell you.

Part of my job is to call the customer to confirm that they IN FACT placed the order (you know, since we live in this day and age of hackers and frauds, etc.), and so this restaurant close to the office called and asked me if I had any orders for a particular customer. I checked EVERYWHERE. Nothing. I checked the history and said the last order by the customer placed with them was over a week ago. The guy was surprised, thanked me for my help and hung up.

About 15 minutes later, I see an order for the customer. I called to speak to the guy, got his wife (who was such a gem... yeah, sarcasm).

Her: (non-plussed) Hello.
Me: Hi, this is Rae with (insert company name here). May I speak to [John Smith].
Her: He's not here.
Me: (making a guess from the conversation I had with the restaurant earlier) Are you his wife?
Her: Yes. My name is CUNTFACE. (<=== yes, I'm taking artistic license)
Me: Hello, CuntFace. I'm just calling to confirm that you placed an order with (insert restaurant name here)
Her: (cutting me off toward the end) Yeah. I had to place the order a third time since you lost the other two.
Me: The restaurant had called us earlier and asked if we had any orders from you, and at the time we didn't until now. I do apologize for the-.
Her: (rather snarky and full of herself) Yeah well, if we get billed more than once, guess who's eating the food or paying for it.
Me: (moving on) I have your delivery address as-.
Her: (cutting me off again) Yes, yes. We've lived here for years and have placed orders with you for a long time.
Me: When you place an order, we call you to confirm the order and that the information is correct. If you would prefer to just receive email confirmations in-.
Her: (cutting me off again) I don't want you to call us or email us. I just want you to do your job.
Me: (secretly wishing I could choke her through the phone) We need to confirm with you one way or another, ma'am. 
Her: (exasperated sigh) Fine. Email.
Me: Thank you, ma'am. I'll make a note of it.
Her: (hangs up on me)

As you can imagine, that kind of behaviour left me a LITTLE grumbly. And Restaurant Guy didn't make it any better.

We were short on drivers that night and apparently this particular restaurant was getting on our ass about this customer so our head of dispatch last night had to do the order herself, leaving me the radios in case the other drivers called in.

THEN the restaurant called back asking if our driver was on their way to the restaurant for CuntFace's order. I said, "Yes, she left a couple minutes ago." Then I added, "I spoke to the wife earlier. She was really rude." Restaurant Guy could give a frak. He just said, "So the driver's on his way?" I said, "Yes, the driver is on HER way." 

And that was that.

Out of curiosity, I checked her account and saw that she had one order with the restaurant in her OPEN CART (meaning SHE DIDN'T CHECK IT OUT TO SEND IT TO US). The only other order was the one dispatch left to pickup and deliver.

So my brilliant deduction, dear Watson, is that CuntFace is full of shit. There was only one order previously placed, and if her and her husband have been doing this FOREVER, then she should have known how to checkout her frakkin order. (It's not that hard. Place your order, hit check-out, the next screen is all the delivery/payment information for review/edit, hit confirm, delivery/payment information again for review, hit confirm... TA-DA! You're done.

Dear CuntFace: Don't get all up in my grill because YOU obviously frakked up. You can take yourself, your husband and your attitude and choke on it! No Love... me

I ended up not leaving the office until sometime after 10pm (close to 10:30pm, I think) because I was told to wait for a driver who had money to drop off. Then I was also waiting on the last driver while the driver I was waiting for arrived and needed help with his paperwork. I counted his money and signed for it. Then locked up and headed to the kitties. 

There was a growler of Black Cherry Cider from the meadery Jim G and Leah G said that I was more than welcome to. There was only enough for two mugs full, but it made me feel better. I also scarfed down some pizza while surfing cable. Watched some movie bits, some LEVERAGE reruns... and then eventually went home when I was calmed down enough.

Set my alarm for 8:45am today so I could get up, shower and get ready for work with enough time to feed the kitties in the morning then gas up my car before heading into work. (I made it with 10-15min to spare.) 

While at the Safeway gas station, I got a 24oz coffee which is NOT helping. (It's times like these that I wish I wasn't so immune to the regular effects of caffeine and sedatives. Coffee just tastes good, but for that extra kick? Yeah. No dice.)

So here I am at the end of my lunch still tired as FRAK with four more hours to go. Yay me! Coffee is gone. Breakfast snacks gone. Eyelids drooping. Ready to collapse. After work, I'll be heading to the kitties again. I think I'll be too tired to go to this wine shindig my friends are having... which starts before I even get out of work. I think it'll be too late to drop by and say hi. Another friend has a hockey game tonight but I have no idea what time it is, but if my energy level is still this low later on, then I'll probably just head on home after the kitties.

I have the day off tomorrow. It's also the last day I take care of the kitties. I pick up their Mommy and Daddy at the airport around noon. After that, I might try and go shopping for some jeans and things.

Yeah.

And maybe I'll write a best-selling novel in the span of one night... just like Nick and his zombie novel from "New Girl". (LOL! Yeah, right.)

Time to go clock back in.

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Friday, January 18, 2013

Wishing I Could Write In My Sleep...

Don't worry about what people are going to think about you. Just write what you want to write.
-Jackie Collins, author

So here I am. At work. Tired as frak.

I'm eating reheated chicken enchilada leftovers with a bottle of chocolate coconut water to drink.

I came in at 10am, am currently on lunch, and will be getting off work at 7pm. From here I will be heading to Jim G and Leah G's for kitty care while they are gone as well as phone back up instructions (since I usually back my phone up at their place since I don't have a computer that can do that, and I haven't backed my phone up in a LONG TIME). They leave for Texas tomorrow morning so my tempoary kitty guardianship starts that evening. I'll most likely be a zombie by the time they get back Tuesday night, but oh well.

Wait. Aren't I a zombie already? (Dun-dun-DUNNNNNNN!!!)

No story blogs to update here kiddies (sorry) though I did write a little in my notebook on another story that's been swimming in my head.

Ahhh, me and Christian Kane.

No it's not fanfiction.

Let me explain. (And pardon me if I repeat myself from previous posts.)

First off, all of my writing is based off of me and my life... whether it be something that happened to me or that I witnessed or my favorite fruit or the fact that I have curly hair...

You get the idea.

When creating characters for my stories, I usually imagine people that I know - such as actors, singers, etc. - that fit the description I've thought up in my head. For some reason, I remember what they look like better if they look like Brad Pitt from Legends of the Fall or Angelina Jolie from Salt. The story plays out like a movie in my head with these people as the characters, but even though they may look like celebrities, in my mind they're the character I've dubbed them for the duration of the story.

Most of my stories (if not all) feature a strong female lead, and since my stories are based off of me... I mentally cast myself in that role. My brain just defaults to me as the lead chic. But hey... writers write characters that they want to play and stories/movies they want to be in so... yeah.

So the bit that I wrote more of last night was a spy kind of thing with me as the lead chic and the male lead I made Christian Kane. It was the aftermath of a fight scene. It obviously needs a little work, but the general idea is there. Also need to decide on a first name for the chic. I got a last name. The first name is still eluding me.

Aside from Christian Kane, some of my other male leads are Zachary Levi, Matt Passmore, Joe Mangianello, Mark Dacascos and Hugh Jackman. I'm toying around with something involving John Gallagher, Jr... but nothing solid yet.

How do you write and keep track of your characters?

Damn I'm tired. And I know that my powerloss isn't helping, but then there's all this stuff that I want to do tomorrow which really isn't much, but seeing as my time for errands is rather limited... I"m just trying to figure out how to have enough time for everything.

I need to go shopping for clothes tomorrow. Not selfish shopping. More like I need a comfortable pair of sneakers and some new jeans. A couple bras, some socks and some new panties wouldn't hurt either. Hell, while I'm at it, a few sweaters and camisoles wouldn't hurt either. Hope to hit the outlet mall before taking care of the kitties and enjoying the silence. Also want to hit the meadery with Jon S again, but I think the place closes at 6pm, and I want to give myself enough time to shop before having to take care of the kitties so I'm either going and leaving early or not going at all.

*grumbles about possibly missing meadery time*

I've got about two more hours before I can leave and then have a whole day to myself.

FUN!!!

I'll check all y'all later sweetie pies. Wishing everyone an amazing weekend!

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae


Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Another Day, Another Reason to Drink

In my world everyone is a pony, and they all eat rainbows, and poop butterflies.
-Katie from the animated movie "Horton Hears A Who!"

I'm also 5'9", am independently wealthy and have the face of a Botticelli, the body of a Degas, and perfect skin.

Yeah. I'm kind of in a mood.

Also... I'm currently at the office.

We didn't have our "meeting" today since two of our team called in sick with this flu thing that's been going around. And of those that did show up today, two were sick but working since they couldn't afford the time off. Our manager had us roll our chairs around, and she gave us a handful of things on her list to update us on. One our leads spoke. And we were done.

Me and one of the sick girls started at the same time and were closing together, but since another girl who was supposed to stay until 7pm called in sick, we have no coverage so we can take our lunches. I am currently on mine and then when I get back, the other girl will be taking hers. Thankfully it's slowing down for the night, but there are those random spurts of business that can screw one person over when they don't have any help. I offered to assist if needed, but I was told that it should be fine and not to worry about it.

On a nice note, our manager bought us soup. One of the ladies that was out sick was one of the leads. She had told me on Monday that she planned on ordering from a variety of restaurants we just signed to see how the food was, but I guess since she didn't make it in, that was a no-go. Not sure if our manager knew about that, but I think she felt inspired to get everyone in our department soup since everyone seems to be getting sick.

*chants: I don't wanna get sick. I don't wanna get sick. I don't wanna get sick!*

In Writing Land...

Did some notebook writing as opposed to story blog updates because I suck. (And also I get into moods where I just want to write with a pen instead of a computer... although I do favor the computer since I can type what I'm thinking faster than I can hand write it out.

The scenes I've been handwriting have been a little LEVERAGE fanfiction and a little other story idea that I've had in my head for a while now.

I've been participating in the 365 pic challenge. I've been posting them via my Instagram account, as well as cross-posting them on my Twitter and Facebook accounts. I'm actually a little surprised that I've keeping up with it for as long as I have. Granted it's only been half of the first month of the new year, and there are 365 days total, but yeah... we'll see where this goes.

Mulling around ideas and such for two projects that I meant to start last year but then things fell through or I just didn't have the time. Hopefully I'll be able to work on that this year... among other "non-writing" ideas/projects I've got brewing in my noggin.

Also a friend of mine is looking to add more content on his website so he asked if I could post these weekly posts on his site, but I kind of want to keep them for me. (Call me selfish.) Then he had suggested on doing a column or something, but I have no idea what I'd write about. Freeballin' it is one thing. But a column-type scenario? I want to help him out, I do, but when it comes to writing for others, I just blank out.

In other news, I'll be taking care of my friends' cats while they're away for a few days. I was hoping to just do the evenings (and selfishly sleep my insomnia ass away until my next nigh shift), but the other person tapped for help is unable to assist with the caretaking of said little feline beasties. In all honesty, it does make me a little grumbly and a small part of me would like to know why they can't offer assistance, but that's all right. I'm sure their reasons are legit. In the end, I just want my little furry peeps taken care of.

I just wish Insomnia would stop staring at me and cackling like a mad woman.

Well, since I have no story blog updates to grace you with, I think I'll cut the babble short and sign this bad boy off.

And who knows? Maybe I'll actually get some sleep tonight. Ohhhh, really good dreams would be a plus, too. *wink wink nudge nudge say no more!*

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Monday, January 14, 2013

Slow & Steady Gets No Writing Done

Anna Leonowens: My mind has taken me down many roads of late. All of which lead absolutely nowhere. What would Buddha say of that?
King Mongkut: That roads are for journeys, ma'am, not destinations.
-from the movie "Anna and the King"

Hello my lovely bundles of joyous awesomeness! How are all of you doing?

Me? I'm tired, I'm cold, my lower back hurts, and I'm currently at work working the closing shift.

I'm currently drinking a cup of coffee from the breakroom. The burner was off but the pot was full and warm. Couldn't find any sugar to add to my cup, but there's Carnation powdered creamer. (Yeah, it's not the best coffee in the world, but it's better than nothing, and perhaps it'll help me wake up a little.

I am also eating a cinnamon raisin bagel, sliced, not toasted. Work gets donuts and bagels every Monday. By the time I usually get here, the donuts are gone which leaves me grumpy but in the grand scheme of things, I really don't mind. After all, part of my 2013 plan is to make myself smaller... as in thinner... as in not as fat. (But then again I usually have a bagel if they're still around, and they're not rock hard cuz someone didn't take the time to put the remaining bagels in a Ziploc baggy to keep them fresh.) I usually munch on the bagel throughout the beginning of my shift so it usually lasts me a while.

Carbs. So filling. So tasty.

If you can't tell from my babbling, I have no story blog updates to write about, sooooo....

Yeah.

I've been rather tired lately which I really need to work on. My energy level is in direct proportion to my writing output. There are times when I'm tired but not tired enough to pass out, but then when I get to writing, my mind's all a-flutter and BAM! - writing done.

But then there are moments when the WANT and DESIRE to write is so strong, and I manage to turn the minibook on... and then the idea of typing becomes exhausting in its own right. There are times where when I finally lay my hands on the keyboard, and I make no sense... as if my hands are the only parts of my body flat out refusing to join the party.

Damn I hate that.

Also the minibook occasionally gives me the finger when I'm trying to write... or watch some Hulu or whatever. (I really need to get together with Josh H to do his thumb drive magic and make the minibook "SING!").

I have the day off tomorrow. Maybe I'll take myself to a movie with one of my passes. Or maybe go shopping for jeans and sneakers tomorrow. (I really need a new pair of sneakers as well as some new jeans.) I also need some socks and underthings... but maybe I'll take care of that later.

I dunno. It'll depend.

I just got distracted by my nails for a second. I haven't had a manicure in a long time, and I got one last week Friday, and it's already growing out. The polish is staying on amazingly well (I think it's because it's glittery), but I can see my cuticles growing out.

...
...
...

Yeah, that above bit shows you how tired I am. (Distracted by my nails?)

Hopefully I'll have more of an update on Wednesday with actual story blog updates and the sort.

Right now, I think I need to sign off on this post due to possible future mental patientness.

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Meant for Friday (Explanation Below)

I'm late / I'm late / For a very important date. / No time to say "Hello, Goodbye". / I'm late / I'm late.
-White Rabbit from the animated movie "Alice In Wonderland" (1951)

See? Told y'all this post was going to be late.

Why is it late? Well, let me tell you: I had plans today.

But first, let's deal with the update stuff. Why? Cuz it's short.

It was really busy Thursday. I couldn't get any more work done.

Moving on to today.

Today was the last day my friend Alithea S was in town, and I was very grateful that I could finagle a way to see her. Work let me take the day off when I had offered to work a few hours earlier if they could let me out in time to make the "Alithea is home, have dinner with me" dinner. If I came in earlier, they wouldn't have a spot for me, and working half my shift before leaving for the dinner would be silly, so they just gave me the day off. The shift itself was a short one, and they ended up getting another woman who was already working a short shift that day stay an extra couple of hours. The night before, the same woman was closing with me, and at the time when my department manager (who knew I wanted to go to the dinner) heard that my issue had been resolved, it was slow, so they suggested that the other chic go home early. And I told her to go ahead since she was helping out the following day, she could totally leave early.

And so she did.

And in seeing as the dinner wasn't until later that evening, I took the liberty of NOT setting my alarm and sleeping until I woke up. And GAWD did that feel good!

When I finally woke up and had a clear head, I tended to some things before my shower: I balanced my checkbook, paid some bills, fixed my phone, did my daily hello to the world, made of list of things I needed/places to go, cleaned the litter box, and texted with some friends regarding my phone being fixed as well as having the day off as well as carpooling to the dinner with Jessie F.

Little pink bottles for you & me...
First stop was to the store to pick up some hair stuff my SIL Ana Marie uses on my niece Bella's hair. I saw her using it on Bella over the holidays, and I immediately recognized the bottle. She loves the stuff, and since my niece and I (as well as Ana Marie and my brother Lynn H) have the same hair, I thought I'd check it out for myself.

We shall see tomorrow.

I had seen the brand before and was curious about picking up some of the shampoo and conditioner but wasn't sure I wanted to spend more than I usually do on a new product that I wasn't sure would work on my hair. But I had gone to Grocery Outlet to pick up my bottle of Leave-In Seal & Shine for not that much so let's see what this stuff can do.

Anyone else see dildos & butt plugs? No? Just me then?
Dammit!
Usually when it comes to me - (ESPECIALLY MY HAIR) - it's a long process of trial and error and rarely do I find anything that works that I don't have to pay an arm and a leg for. Most of the time the stuff that I do find gets discontinued. (I'm looking at YOU Salon Selectives.) If it's not disconnected, it's either a decent price but a small bottle or something hella pricey that I will rarely get my hands on.

Oh the joys of finicky hair. (sarcasm)

Since I found a few of the other items on my list, I headed to the O'Reilly Auto Parts to get my steering wheel cover. The one I have now has balded pretty badly and looks just awful. I bought a new one which thankfully didn't cost as much I thought and headed back to my car when I saw a nail place in the same shopping plaza.

Now anyone that knows me know that I'm a tomboy. When getting ready to go somewhere, most of my "prep time" is my hair since I can't stand it when it's frizzy or big so I have to properly shelack the frak out of it else it looks really wrong. (I can look like a dandelion on crack or something.) The only real girly things that I do are dye my hair, get my eyebrows waxed from time to time (since I suck at plucking and I get a little OCD about how my 'brows look), and get manicures and pedicures.

Lately my nails have grown to a long-ish length so I thought I would treat myself to a manicure. (It's also awesome since my cuticles are horrendous, I don't know how to file, my nails are weaker than I'd like and grow funky, and you get a hand/arm massage afterward.)

So I go into the place, I'm the only customer at that moment. One lady comes to take care of me. I want my nails filed shorter (if when trying to snap my fingers I stab my fingertips, they're too long). She files, buffs, cuticle oils, clips my cuticles (gently and without drawing blood... A+)...

... and then it's time for the massage.

Now let me say first off that my lower back has been killing me for the past few days. Probably my sitting all day at a computer doesn't help matters, but nevertheless... pain. I'm sitting what is like a comfy version of a old school desk (chair with a swivel desk in front). She takes some oil and rubs it on my hand and forearm and the proceeds to work on my hand. (The massage is my favorite part of the manicure because since most of my jobs are clerical-ish - also since I write a lot - the massage feels good and reminds me that the natural state of my hands is not animalistically clawed over a keyboard.) The attention she pays to my hands is lengthy but feels nice since I didn't realize my hands were that stiff. Then she moves to my forearm. HELLO KNOTS! I just sit there and zone out on the good vibes. Then her hand goes up the sleeve of my t-shirt and she massages my upper arm. I don't really think anything of it until she does something unexpected.

She stands up and moves to my shoulder and starts massaging, finding a HUGE knot behind my shoulder. After she's done working the shoulder, she massages the back of my neck.

By this point, I was so relaxed, I almost pass the frak out.

She repeats the procedure on the left side - hand, forearm, upper arm, shoulder, neck - and my legs tingled and I completely forgot I had a lower back.



pic courtesy of Nailderella (I take no credit)
http://nailderellanails.blogspot.com/
So it was time for the polish, and I chose a red sparkly number (I like odd and dark colors like black, grey, dark red, etc) by OPI called Stay the Night. The other ladies there saw the color I had chosen and told the lady helping me to put a black coat on first and then my color.

The black looked cool on its own but then she put the sparkly one, and I thought it looked really neat... especially in the sunlight.

When I surfed the net trying to find a picture to post of the lovely color, I found out that it's part of a Mariah Carey line of polish called Liquid Sand. Everyone's got a fragrance or something these days.

Sheesh.

I wonder if I had my own fragrance, what it would be called and what it would smell like. I'd probably call it Fro, and it would smell of lumpia or pork adobo.

tiny sparkly Asian hands
Okay. Since I didn't take a pic of my nails earlier, here's the best I could come up with in the bad lighting of my bedroom. ========>

Moving on...

After leaving a building after an errand, I jetted home (since I was near there anyway) to change into something warmer due to the fact that the temperature drastically changed from when I entered the last business I was in to when I left it.

When I was warmer, I left to snag Jessie F who then ran a final errand with me at a stationary shop before heading to the new house (which I had gone to twice from the direction of work) after getting gas. We got a little lost since I was at a completely opposite area than work but I recognized streets and landmarks and TA-DA! we made it!

We had beer, salad, tamales, enchiladas, pasole, ice cream, cake... mixed with a heaping dose of family, friends and conversation and laughter.

Ahhh, good times.

I SO need a teleporter... or a TARDIS... so I can travel to Colorado to see Alithea. Dammit it all to HELL!!!

Random Doctor Who question... could he regenerate into a woman and have a male companion? Would the TARDIS then be pink? It is a woman after all. (I saw that Neil Gaiman episode.)

Tastes like hearts of oak
Then we all left so Alithea S could sleep (taking with us some tamales and rice). I took Jessie F home, and she invited me up for a night cap. She shared some of her Bacardi Oakheart that she loves a lot, and when she looked in the fridge, she said, "We don't have any mixers aside from Fruit Punch Crystal Light." I told her to bring it on over. I played bartender, we bullshitted, I made her listen to the beginning of the Nerdist podcast with Adam Savage - Live at LARGO! We chatted some more, I made with the funny, and we were all tired so I started getting ready to head home.

Now... Jessie F had gotten me a Christmas present but kept forgetting to bring it when she was going to see me. Even on her two-part birthday (lunch in the afternoon and the drinks in the evening at a British pub), she would look at me and say, "DAMMIT! I forgot it again!"

So tonight when I picked her up for the dinner, she'd remembered again that she forgot saying she left it at the apartment. While up for the night cap, I thought Do I remind her? I thought about sending her a text after I got to my car saying, "Present?" But no... instead I told her that I could have continued to perpetuate the "Dammit!" scenario, but brought up the present reminder, and she jumped up with that "OH!" energy, dug in a bag or something behind her, and finally gave me my Christmas present.

I think I might post an AudioBoo or all the lovely things he says. ^_^

Okay. It's late. I'm fading. I shall sign off on this puppy and (hopefully) get back to my nice dream with Christian Kane last night. *fingers crossed*

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Congested & Tired

Walt Kowalski: I'm here for a confession.
Father Janovich: Oh, Lord Jesus what have you done?
-from the movie "Gran Torino"

So what's going on today in the Land of Oz? Or in this case Fro? Some updates I believe.

And now for other stuff.

Been working on writing stuff... or trying to. Found some old things that I had on the minibook and emailed them to myself so I could try to work on it at work or wherever. I haven't been able to as of yet, but hey... it's work. Busy busy busy.

While at work, I got to talk to an Irish guy on the phone. 

Tee hee. Yeah, I'm such a girl... well, at least when it comes to Celtic accents. Irish and Scottish are quite yummy to listen to. (Also the guy was really nice so that's all kinds of bonus points right there.)

Right now I'm on my lunch hour so I thought I'd write my update (and maybe a little story blog update if I can swing it). Also I'm at a big girl computer so my nails (which I'm still thinking about cutting completely off) don't get in the way. (The minibook keys are flat, and I occasionally hit the mousepad so the cursor moves from where I'm typing to someplace else on the page... and THAT really FRAKKIN ANNOYS me.)

In other news, today at work we tried a new Thai place. I got the garlic pork, and it's yummy. I'm trying to pace myself since yesterday I had a weird tummy/digestive issue that rollercoasted all day. We had tried a new Mediterannean place which was SO good, but I think it mucked up my imbalance a little more. I think with a regular tummy, I would have been fine, but today, I'm all kinds of paranoid cuz I REALLY hate this feeling. Plus we're trying another new place tomorrow so I'm hoping my tummy will have chilled out by then.

Oh yeah, so I wrote a story recently and used the word "cuz", and my friend Jon S read it and said he wasn't sure on my spelling. Now the word is used in dialogue, not narrative, which I totally think is okay, but I was wondering what everyone else thought. I think it's all right if it's dialogue, but then... that's just me.

DAMN MY SINUSES!!!

The area between my eyes feels like a brick. I can breathe, but my head frakkin aches. Not excruciatingly so, but enough to not make me unhappy. Also, my nose is a little sniffly. WTFrak is up with that? Ugh.

I've been trying to stay hydrated, and looking at the bottle I've been drinking/refilling today, I'm on my second liter... which per this thing I found on the internet, is good. (And the internet wouldn't lie to me, would it?)

So how much fluid does the average, healthy adult living in a temperate climate need? The Institute of Medicine determined that an adequate intake (AI) for men is roughly 3 liters (about 13 cups) of total beverages a day. The AI for women is 2.2 liters (about 9 cups) of total beverages a day.

(looks at clock)

I've got roughly four more hours until I hook up with some friends to play games. Alithea S got into town yesterday (Kathy W picked her up from the airport), and Kathy W went to snatch her after her shift ended today to hang out and later grab some dinner with Steve C. I'll be jetting off to Kathy and Steve's to see Alithea and play some "Paranoia". The way that Kathy W explained it to me, it sounds really fun though I've never heard of it before. It might be this other thing I found on the internet, but I won't know until I get there.

All right. I guess it's time I stop with the babbling and sign this post off. Since I'm going to try and get some Alithea time in while she's in town, I'm not sure how much I'll actually be writing so my Friday post might be lacking... a bit.

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Monday, January 7, 2013

It's Just A Mood, It'll Pass

You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one.
-Paulo Coelho

Let's get the updates out of the way, shall we?

For December, we have:
And lookee what we have here! A January update!:
Finally breaking through to the new year.

That's pretty much all the writing I've gotten done recently... aside from writing out random LEVERAGE fanfic scenes from my head. (It's not anything complete, mind you. Just the scenes I've conjured in my noggin since I don't think I could think of a con... especially one that would do the series justice.) But I'm dabbling with fight scenes and dialogue (which I think is my strong suit anyway) so hopefully writing out this stuff will leave room for other stuff.

I also started dabbling with another story/novel idea. I'm mostly doing the same thing as with the fanfic, just writing out certain scenes, but I already have two novels that need my attention. I'm not about to full-on start a third.

What else?

Nothing too exciting has happened over my weekend. Saturday was Les Miserables with the girls (Laura, Leah and Scheherazade) then drinks with Jon S.

Sunday was uneventful aside from realizing my library stuff was due that day instead of Monday.

Today was my final of three days off so I spent the day pretty much doing nothing. I ran an errand, updated my 365 pic a day challenge thingy, balanced my checkbook, tweeted/Facebook'd some, watched some Hulu, surfed some YouTube, did some writing as well as completely cleaned out my cat's litter box.

And tomorrow I work. Yay me. (<=== slight sarcasm)

I get to miss out on most of (if not all of) Alithea S's visit since I'm working mostly nights. I might make it to the dinner thing on Friday... at least after the dinner thing since I get out of work that night (at the earliest) 9:15pm. But then the day that I'm off she leaves. Depending on when she leaves, I might be able to hang with her a little bit. (We'll see.)

I'm just kind of bummed lately.

Part of it is since I started working again, I feel like I did when I was working at the bookstore all those years ago. My shifts were random of shifts (and back then I didn't have a car) and mostly closing, but I felt like I was starting to be forgotten. In the beginning, I'd be asked if I could go do stuff, but then with the new job, I'd often have to say I couldn't since I was working.

Then it felt like people... just stopped asking.

And now here I am - older and new job though it seems to have similar hours (always seem to be closing) - and I'm still being asked to stuff, but with work always getting in the way as well as my friends getting all coupled off... it's like I never see people anymore. And maybe they'll just... stop asking.

I'm just in a bummed place... like I'm out of the loop, and I don't know how to get back in it. (To be honest, I even feel that way at work sometimes.)

I've only ever had maybe two popular moments in my life: kindergarten and high school.
  • In kindergarten, I remember getting dropped off in the morning, and seeing kids from my class near the fence happy to see and rushing me to come inside.
  • In high school was a little different. I wasn't popular by "popularity" standards, but I felt popular in my group of friends. I'd get calls, get kidnapped, invited out to stuff... it was nice.
I've also been thinking about friends lately. 

There's one that helped me out during my whole East Coast drama. We somehow just lost touch, and his name is rather common so I have no idea how to find him. I saw his sister was on Facebook (we took French in high school together), and so I sent her a message. No reply. I even tried friending her. Nothing. Two years ago, I sent him a Christmas card to the last address I had for him, and it got returned. This past Christmas, I sent him a card but to his parents' place which I've driven by on occasion, and I'm not even sure if they live there anymore.

How long does it take for a letter to get returned to you if the person you sent it to no longer lives there?

Then there's an ex-roomie of mine that we lost touch. I found that she and her boyfriend had a New Year's Eve party and invited others that I thought she had lost touch with as well. A small part of me wondered why I wasn't invited but then I let it go. I'm just glad that she's doing well and is happy.

The most recent friend thing is a touchy subject since I don't want to put it all out on public display, but it's all kind of messed up. Let's see if I can make it a little general here. I met Humpty and Dumpty through a mutual friend. I got along better with Dumpty than Humpty. Dumpty ended things with me since Humpty thought something else was going on. Then I found out that Humpty was the one that had something going on that Dumpty knew about, but they're trying to work stuff out. Humpty also seemingly tried to say I should have said something about since Humpty thought we were closer than that, but Humpty had my number and knew how to get a hold of me so why hasn't Humpty reached out. And now our mutual friend occasionally brings them up, and it reminds me of all that crap we'd gone through. And now Dumpty is contacting mutual friend trying to invite them out to stuff.

Yeah... that sounds lame, too. Ugh.

Being in this bummed state also makes it weird when good things happen to my friends and loved ones. My initial reaction is "CONGRATS!!! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!" but there's always that little grumbly part inside that is cutting herself while drinking cocktails mixed with barbituates cursing her own damn lot in life.

Wow! That was dark. Sorry about that. Just read that as me being happy but also a little jealous and bummed.
 
Also when I write dark like that, it's just the writer in me coming out. I'm not going to hurt myself or something. It's just my way of saying "I'm very very very... (multiplied by a large number) [insert adjective here]." I guess it's my inner Poe or Dickinson coming out of me. I dunno. Just don't take it the wrong way. I'm not going to stick my head in an oven or give my cat some of my opium stash.
 
Not that I... have... an opium... sta-.
 
Anyway, moving on.
 
I just feel stuck. Like life isn't exciting anymore. Okay, correction, like my life isn't exciting anymore. (Was it ever?) As it is, I have no idea if I'll be able to make it to San Diego this July. Then again, my San Diego July plans always seem to be a last minute thing, but the not knowing is making me a little icky in the tum tum. 
 
I have plans with my family at the beginning of February. Hopefully that plays out.
 
I'm grateful for all the help and love and support that I've received this past year, but for me... just as a personal thing for me... I just need a little oomph. A little "punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how"... but how do I get that?
 
I know I have to make my own happiness, but sometimes it feels the more I try, the more depressed I get.
 
Okay, perhaps today is a day to be writing this, but I did say that I was going to do this three times a week, so that's what I'm going to do.
 
An upside to things is that Aaron C remembered his copy of Jim Butcher's "Cold Days" and gave it to me Friday so I'm happy I have that to read. Yay! (Did I mention I love Jim Butcher? And also I always imagined his Codex Alera series would make a great series for television, and now seeing Game of Thrones, I think HELLS YEAH! If they can do that? Then then can do Codex Alera.)
 
Then again, that's just my opinion.

I think I've babbled on enough. Most of this post seems a little depressing for my taste, but it was how I've been feeling, and I want to be honest with y'all so... yeah. Hopefully next time will be a little more... peppy and upbeat.

In any case, I think I'll sign off now.

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Friday, January 4, 2013

Seeking Zen, Energy, Money & More Words

I saw this tree. But it was a dragon. Then it was a tree again. It just lied to me.  
-Charlie (tripping on acid, to Sam) from the movie "The Perks of Being A Wallflower"

It's Friday, and I have the next three days off. A friend of mine invited me to join him at our friend's bar, but seeing as I'm broke, I politely declined. I also have a blog post to write so... yeah, priorities, right?

But as I sit here in comfy clothes relaxing to my iPhone playing music via my iHeartRadio app, I find myself losing the energy to do an actual post justice.

So before I pass out, let me do this update thing before babbling on like I do.
Impressive, eh? Winding down more and more on those pesky December 2012 updates. I might just be catching up with myself. How about that?

And now here I sit in my room trying to gather up the energy to do some writing. I started something at work that I wasn't able to finish since I had to move to a different computer at the end of the night, and the machine decided to run slower than a snail with a limp and poor sense of direction. I'll finish it tonight... or tomorrow?

I have the next three days off. I'd rather be out of town visiting my family, but since money's tight, I have to stay in town. Sometime this weekend (I think by Monday?) I need to hit the library to turn some stuff in. Before that, I need to finish one of the books that I checked out that's due. I've been trying to finish this book FOREVER, but the book's always been on reserve... and then I'm tired or working or writing... ugh!

There need to be more hours in the day!

And I need more energy for those hours in the day!

Right now I'm trying to figure out how to fit two things into my Saturday.

I haven't been able to make it to the meadery recently due to working or being away for the holidays. So I asked my friend Jon S (who usually asks me if I want to go) if he was planning on hitting the meadery this Saturday. He said he hadn't really thought about it but was up for it. Mentioned to him how my funds were low so if he could pick me up, that's be great.

Later I saw my friend posted she wanted to see Les Mis, but her husband didn't so she was looking for people to go. I had expressed an interest, saying I had plans but was available Sunday. Everyone is more available Saturday. In talking it over with Jon S, he had planned on getting me around 2pm so I had the bright idea of possibly getting a ride (if possible) from the theatre to the meadery (since the meadery is down the street from the theatre). So far that looks like the plan which is cool cuz now I get to see Leah G, Scheherazade and Jon as well as peeps at the meadery. Leah G's friend Laura K might come, too. I've met her and her husband a couple times but haven't chatted much.

Would you look at that? It's almost midnight. I think I might try and write some, but first I need to post this cuz of that whole MWF vow and all that. Sorry this post is rather boring and almost a cheater post of sorts since it fulfills my goal of writing three times a week, but the post is a bit of a babble and is just... weak, for lack of a better word.

I'll try and do better Monday. I promise. Scouts Honor!

Wishing all you fantabulous people a wonderful weekend. xoxoxo

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Occupational Hazards

There is never enough time, and I wind up just wanting to do things that I don't have time for.
-Neil Gaiman

Hello there kiddies! It's me again, and I warn you... I'm not feeling too great.

I'm currently at work during a lull before my department meeting noshing on a blueberry muffin and drinking a small coffee/hot chocolate mix.

Before I go any further, let me get the update stuff out of the way.


Yeah. Impressive, eh? (sarcasm) That's all there is since yesterday was...

Yesterday was kind of crappy for me. I had to come to work at 7am which was fine since this time it wasn't a weekend shift, and I wasn't alone in my department until 2pm. THIS time the next person came in an hour later, and it wasn't until after that things started to happen.

The first thing that happened was the internet went down. We have a couple computers that work off a wireless router, but neither are bluetooth tethered to the printers so we couldn't print anything out for our drivers. The two of us were fine but then we had two other girls coming in at 11am and noon so I wanted to get the internet issue situated before they came in since yes... it was slow, but to have four of us here and only one real working computer in our department? (We could have used the one in the back of the building, but there was no phone hooked up there so we wouldn't have been able to really do our job back there.)

I had just received an email from my new department manager saying to contact her (and not the boss of the company) for assistance/guidance if anything should happen. I was hesitant to call her since it was an IT-question, but I did anyway just to be sure. She suggested I call bossman. The lady I was working with didn't think I should bother him so I tried calling our actual "IT-guy" (I was told I could call him or bossman for tech support if they weren't in the office). Got IT-guy's voicemail. Then Leddy M (who was working dispatch that morning) called him and left a message... to which he emailed us back some time later. I ended up having to essentially (after finding the correct box in the server room) "turn it off then turn it back on". I had to chuckle at that since I love the series The IT-Crowd (if you're familiar with the show, then you'll know what I mean).

So with the internet back up and running, the other girls came in and then I went to lunch.

It wasn't until after I came back from lunch, the dumb thing happened.

So there are these out of state/country orders we have to take care of when we're the opening person. Everything autofaxes, so all I have to do is call and confirm the faxes were received. And I did. But the pickup place called and said the driver was late, and one of the other girls asked me what was going on since my name (from confirming the faxes) was the only name on the order.

In a nutshell, there were a few orders/deliveries that were "exceptions to the rule" over the holidays that needed manual edits the day before versus the default settings. There was an email sent out about it from one of the other department heads, but that was sent a few days before Christmas and was since buried in my inbox. Instead of recalling the email, I asked the ladies I was working with if they'd come across a situation like this, and they said no. I had no other numbers than my manager and my boss, and I couldn't get a hold of either of them. My boss called back and asked if I had called my lead (the one that deals with the Canada orders), and I said no since I didn't have anyone's phone numbers. He gave it to me. I called him. The connection cut the calls off. Finally I called him one last time, and we came up with a plan to handle things. (Turns out he should have changed the times on the order on New Year's Eve - per the email and a day I wasn't working - but he forgot to.) In the end, it was all taken care of, but I was so bothered with the whole mess that it lingered with me after I left work to this morning before our meeting. Apparently it was all good since it wasn't even brought up, but I talked to my lead and we sorted stuff out which now we have actual contact numbers for the frakkin Canada drivers instead of trying to get a hold of them via phone, fax, email, text... and NOTHING!!!

And then I checked my work email last night and this morning and guess what? The IT-guy (you know, the one I can call for tech support?), emailed back to say he was offline most of the day but was glad we got things taken care of. *rollseyes*

There was also an email from my manager including a department phone list. (Gee, this would have been nice to have yesterday.)

But I feel that things are getting better in the office since her arrival. For example, we were informed in our meeting that they are furniture shopping. So of course I asked what it was for. Apparently they are trying to get us all desks. (HOLLA!) In my department, there are six work stations (including my mananger's). When I first got here, we all shared desk space. It was a first come, first serve kind of thing. Each desk had a bottle of Purell and a tub of Lysol AntiBacterial wipes. We were all trying to be careful about the workspaces since we shared them... tried to keep them clean and germ free. The two leads have their own desks which are all decorated with personal stuff, but when they're not here, the rest of us can sit at their desks if we need to.

So the chairs that were there when I was hired were "old and busted". There was one that would snap forward at a 15-degree angle, another that sat at a slant, and another that would slip down an inch very slowly until you sat almost face to face with the keyboard and desktop.

New chairs were purchased (we had our choice of two), they were assembled and labeled and Voila! - we all had our own new brand new chairs. But we didn't have any place to stash them when we weren't working where they wouldn't get in the way.

So the fact that they're looking at giving us our own desks is a good thing. Woot!

What else?

Someone set out a big bowl of candy canes in the break room (of which I took several). That was an upside to my day... which is nice since I am closing a lot of nights though tonight while I was working my final hour with Monica D (who was actually closing), I was talking about a couple things that had come up that I wanted to do, but I couldn't because I was working those days.

First is Alithea S is coming to town for a visit, and her parents invited us to dinner at their new house so we could hang and visit with her. Unless I can find someone to swap with me, I won't be able to make it since I close that night. Monica D is under the impression that I will be able to find someone to take the shift or switch with, but I'm doubtful since most of my department (which is only about eight people big) is starting school of some kind... which has led me to have a lot of evening shifts. (I also got a message from Jim G that he had passed to go see Warm Bodies - a movie I'd like to see, but will have to decline his invitation since the day of the passes I work until 8pm and the movie starts at 7pm.) Of the two events, the movie is less important, but still... bummer for me.

Oh how I miss the days where I had a Monday to Friday, 8am to 5pm gig. I didn't miss as much.

But then Monica D mentioned something tonight which left me wondering about my schedule for the next few months. She said she doesn't start her classes until next month to which she put in a request to work all closing shifts. She and I already predominantly close, but that makes me wonder if I'll get fewer closing shifts. (One would think, right? Well, it's at least a possibility at any rate.)

I close the next two nights, then I'm off for the next three days. Ideally I'd head to Fresno to see my family, but I can't really afford it. As it is, I have to deal with my phone issue. (I need to walk into a Verizon store and have someone explain to me what the deal is with my bill since the paperbill, the website and the app on my phone all say different stuff. And there was some things that changed on one bill, but when I was reading it - online, I think - they were billing me for a month ahead which I didn't pay when I paid my phone bill last month due to me not having used my phone for that time period yet. The bill at that point was twice my usual monthly rate which would leave me to believe the regular amount - which it looks like that weird billing thing has stopped - would be due the next (this) month by the 7th. But guess what? It's showing that I owe three times my usual rate.

Now I can understand the increase for being late, but I'm not. In fact, when I was unemployed, my service was interrupted because I couldn't pay my bill so I wasn't billed for that time. Then I paid the balance in full mid-October, and my phone was revived anew. Every time I checked the app and online, one said I owed nothing while the other said I owed $5.00. My phone bill is always due by the 7th with a few days window (due to my actual paydays), so I let the $5.00 flow over to December. Somewhere between $5.00 and now, the bill mutated into something strange and psychotic, but I haven't had time with work and lack of sleep to go into the store near me and ask "WTF people?!?!?"

I may do that this weekend. I won't be able to pay anything until next week on payday, and hopefully they can work with me on that. Aside from not being able to call or text anyone, my mom goes cray-cray when she can't get a hold of me. She assumes that I've gone all emo and quoth the raven as I sit in the dark slicing my wrists to the melody of Morrissey songs.

My mom... the Olympic Gold worrier. (Is there something better than gold? Is it platinum? Cuz my mom's medal would kick a gold medal's ass.) I try to talk to her about managing her stress and worry. I keep failing to put it into the right words. I'm not denying her the right to worry. She's a mother and a grandmother. It comes with the territory, but damn... just... damn.

But I digress.

I really stop babbling and post this. After all, I only had one story blog update. Sheesh. Plus, it's almost time to leave work.

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae