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Tuesday, June 30, 2015

I Am Still A Work In Progress

I meant to write this on Monday, but I was closing so work got in the way, and by the time I got home, I needed food and sleep.

Then I meant to write this at work during a break or something, but sitting at my desk even with my earbuds in, I was distracted.

So now I'm at home after running a couple quick errands after work, I made myself corned beef hash over rice with a fried egg topper and was going to drink a beer, but then it got late so I opted to hydrate my ass with some water.

Work has been "work" which is annoying the poop out of me, but I digress. Instead of concentrating on the negative crap, I try and concentrate on the good stuff and let the crappy crap fall by the wayside.

The serenity prayer always comes to mind since there are things at work that I feel when I show initiative, I don't feel like it's appreciated or nothing's done. There are even times where I feel like when I do say something, it's shut down but later is brought up like "oh yeah, we should be doing this" leaving me thinking "didn't I bring that up a while ago?"


So I'm done. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm still a team player and will help out, etc, but I'm done with volunteering my time and ideas and all that just to get shot down or ignored or whatever. I'm done getting upset over the things that not only I have no control over but don't seem to ever change.

Instead I'm gonna do me. At present, I feel quite accomplished in tasks assigned to me. I do my work and continue to ignore the "perception is reality" bullshit. I'm going to try my best at taking care of me and not paying attention to all the clique-y behavior that happens around but apparently can't happen with me. (I'm friendly, a social butterfly, a people-person, and I like smiling/saying-hello to co-workers that pass by my desk. I like them, and they like me - and the ones that don't, I'm pretty sure why they don't which is fine by me because I stand by who I am and know that I'm not the one with the problem.)

Enough about work. What else is going on in my life?

Was planning on going back to the gym starting in July. Various reasons left no time for the gym whether it was due to dealing with moving, having prior engagements, working out in some other way (like helping a friend move or reorganize their room or me packing up my room for the move), being hurt, being sick, insomnia kicking my ass, or just being plain ol' lazy. Where I previously lived was nearby my gym. Since the move, it's not a long drive, but it's no longer down the street.

The original intention was to restart July 1st - but then a good chunk of my last paycheck went to rent and a couple of bills so I'm conserving my gas and staying close to home (which is conveniently near work). I will go back to monitoring my food intake, however, on my Lose It! app. I've been rather lazy about that, too, but since the move, I've been making salads for lunch (yay Pinterest for all my recipe needs). Next paycheck I plan on trying to work in some meal planning, etc. Also I need to get back to taking the stairs. My apartment building is only three floors - I'm on the second - but the moment my back starts acting up or my ankle (stupid car accident) - my body says "Hey look! An elevator!" Also the elevator is near my mailbox so when I check my mail - which is usually about once a week since I really don't get any mail - I usually take the elevator up instead of walking to the stairs.

I need to work on my energy levels and mid-section and just better health overall. It was working before but aside from laziness, stress and fatigue got in my way, so I need to push through that some.

Oy vey! Tomorrow's meeting lunch is pizza/pasta, and I still haven't ordered yet. I need to do that tomorrow when I get in.

I'm also trying to work on my outer health. I'm trying to get used to a morning and night routine of washing my face, toner, serum, brushing, mouthwash, braiding my hair before I go to bed.

WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE SO COMPLICATED???

One of these days I need to spend the day at my storage unit going through stuff. I had hoped that I would be in another house with some friends so that I would have more space to open boxes, purge the things I no longer want/need, bring some stuff into the apartment, and downsize my storage unit to something smaller and less expensive. (That would be exercise for sure!)

In other news, I've been writing and reading a lot more than I was before. Within the past month or so I have embraced my new local library and have been grabbing books left and right, audio and paper. I just finished "Let's Pretend This Never Happened" by Jenny Lawson (audiobook). I'm currently listening to "I Am Legend & Other Stories" by Richard Matheson.

On the writing front, I'm trying really hard to finish "Ezrie" but lately I have been coming home from work, dropping my bags, and passing the frak out. It's getting there though. I should also be getting a desk soon. Don't think I'm going to get the one I had planned on and may downsize my selection a bit. That's okay though. I don't mind going back to IKEA. Walking around there is fun for me as well as a decent amount of exercise. In any case, I'm hoping to have some sort of first draft complete by the end of the year.

I also mean to blog more... a lot more. I've just being feeling like my posts are crap and all over the place. I need some structure, dammit.

***fingers crossed***

And now it's time to say goodnight since it's getting late (and wasn't I just complaining about lack of sleep earlier?). I passed out for about 15min while trying to think of what to make for dinner tonight. Guess it doesn't really help that the only sitting furniture I have in my apartment is my bed. Sheesh.

Okay, that's all for now. Maybe the next post will be something a little more coherent and worthy of readership.

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

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