While at my friend's house today, I mentioned I was doing a 30-day blog challenge I found on Pinterest, and that today was about pet peeves. She then asked what they were. I had to think about it, but the first one that came to mind was...
BEING UNNECESSARILY MEAN
I already talked about this in a previous post, but really - what's with all the asshole behavior? In no way am I denying anyone their feeling - if you're angry, be angry - but there's no need to be mean to people just because you're angry.
In the previous post, I talked about my mother. She's a lovely lady, but she needs to think before she speaks sometimes... and REALLY needs to use her words properly. There's a show you don't like? Then don't watch it. It takes more effort to slam on it instead of just changing the channel.
I've worked a lot of retail in my life, and either over the phone or to my face, I've had people be angry for no reason. They're trying to do something online, and their computer is not working. (How is that my problem?) They come in to buy an item that is out of stock. (Again, not my fault.) You want to buy more stock to sell at your store, but you haven't paid your balance and overdrawn. (You see where I'm going here?)
Now in working retail, I know that most of the time people just want to vent out their tension so I have become more of the bartender that hears a patrons' woes. I know they're not really mad at me, but when someone is yelling at you for no reason and saying really WTF things, the initial sting can't help but feel you are the target of their hostility.
Take all that energy and go running or head to the gym or take a walk or play a video game or something. Seriously, just because something happened that is out of anyone's control gives you no right to be an asshole to someone who was only trying to help you in the first place. Save your anger for something to be really mad about and stopped being an asshat.
FALSE SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT
Again, this hearkens back to the whole retail job history thing, but I've seen it in other scenarios as well.
Example that comes to mind - douche nozzles that have really awesome cars and park in two spots so their car doesn't get banged up by cars on either side. (Yeah, this is a thing people.) Now, I hate to break it to you assholes, but regardless of WHY you parked the way you did, there are those that could've parked in one the spaces you so selfishly occupied which will possibly upset them to the point of them taking action against your car, and you returning to your vehicle to find it in a different state that you left it which in turn was in no way the fault of any car parked on either side of you.
A random person called in one day to complain about a driver speeding out of a parking lot and almost hitting him. Now immediately I was apologetic saying "So sorry that happened. Can you give me a description of the car or the driver? And I will let our manager know about the incident." Now the dude was upset, which was to be expected, wasn't denying him that, but then he started bragging about his car - how he drove a BMW which was worth more than the driver that almost hit him, and that he also earns more in a day than what the driver probably made in a year. And at this point, I'm thinking, "Did you just call to tell me how much money you make and what you spend it on?"
The other day I had to go to my landlady's bank to deposit rent straight into her account before work. I was maybe fifth in line, and the line was moving pretty smoothly, and they had all the tellers they had open. The place isn't that big, but it was fine... until this woman came in, saw the line, and I heard her say, "Oh this will not do." Instead of getting in line, she went to the info desk to complain. The man there told her they were short-staffed and doing the best they could, but she was having none of it. Then one of the department managers was guiding people who were making transactions and didn't need cash back to a teller at the end, The lady went up to her and asked if she was the manager. She said she was "a" manager of (whatever department she said), and the woman complained to her, too. She was one or two people behind me (I think though she did spend a lot of time out of line finding people to complain to), and I was at a teller within maybe five minutes which would have had her at a teller shortly after that within a minute or two... at which point she complained to that teller as well. All the times she complained, she was complaining about how SHE had to wait. Um, excuse me? What about the rest of us? What makes you so much more important than us? Wait in line like everybody else and stop flapping your trap.
GOSSIP/BOUNDARIES
We all gossip. It's human nature. Some do it more than others. Some only tell general bits. Some tell everything (even adding their own version of what happened). Some feed off it. Some just have to know what everyone's business is... even if they don't know the person they want you to tell them about.
I have a few trusted confidants that if I need to say something, I can tell them since they respect my business. And if I don't want to say more on the topic, they don't push. They're there as a friend, someone to listen and perhaps give advice to or show support.
Then there are others. The ones that want to hear every little juicy nugget (and usually end up retelling it to others incorrectly). It's like crack to them, giving them some sort of high. I don't know, really, but it seems that way to me.
Example: A few years back a group of my friends that weren't necessarily friends with each other were having a disagreement which then splintered them off even further into two opposing teams. Another friend not involved in the feud and knew nothing about it was throwing a party of some kind and asked if I'd spoken to our mutual friends (let's say Group A) since last they'd heard from them they seemed a little grumpy. At that point I don't think I had and told my friend so. Then only knowing Group B by name and having never met them, the friend asked if she should invite them, I said no, probably not. When this friend asked why, I had said they were having a disagreement with Group A, and they'll most likely not come. Immediately this friend wanted to know what happened. I said it wasn't my story to tell. Still, this friend kept pressing, trying to guess, trying to get me to spill the beans. I kind of snapped at her and told her for what felt like the billionth time that it wasn't my story to tell and to stop asking me since I wasn't going to say, and then eventually I ended the call with them.
And it's really not even just gossip. From personal experience, there have been things that have caused me drama or stress - anything from work to family to anything from life in general - and all I want to do is forget for a while or feel better or just relax. I can tell my friends I'm having a bad day and some will ask "You wanna talk about it?" and I say "No." and then we watch movies or bullshit about our days or go see a movie, etc. But then some push (my family, mainly my mother, is guilty of this), and she then turns it on me with the argument "Why don't you talk to me?" Maybe because I'm not ready? Maybe because I don't really need to... that I just want to chill out and breathe for a moment.
I don't know. Just know your boundaries, people. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them talk about anything they don't want to.
COMPLAINING TO COMPLAIN/BITCHING TO BITCH
I think this is something we've all been guilty of at one point or another, but I've noticed for some it's become a HUGE problem. You know the type, that get on their high horse and start spouting how this isn't right or things should be done this way, and when I see them, I'm going to tell them so. But then when push comes to shove, nothing happens. They were given the chance to speak their mind, to say whatever was bothering them or how to improve on things, but then after that time passes, and they failed to take a stand... they just keep on bitching and moaning how things aren't right.
Then DO something about it then.
I had a girl friend once that was really into this guy, and at first they were just fooling around. She even said there was no commitment, but then I saw her getting more and more attached regardless of what she said. She stayed at his place every once in a while on the weekend, and I started hearing the complaint from her that she had no idea how he felt about her or where their relationship was going. My answer was always to talk to him, and she always said she would, but she never did. And then she'd come back home griping the same old gripes.
By this point, I always knew when she wasn't being completely honest with me because having caught her in half-truths before, I knew her tell. So I knew she never even broached the subject with him. Either she chickened out or forgot, but if it's that important to you, you'd remember, right?
Another example is in all my jobs, you always have those people that gripe about this and that, about things being unfair and how they should be done, etc, and the next meeting their going to give them a piece of their mind. -- Meeting time comes around, and then when the boss asks everyone if anyone wants to bring something up to discuss, they just clam up saying they're fine, but then when the meeting's over, they go right back to complaining. *sigh*
Makes me think of the saying "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem." And if you're just complaining about how crappy things are and not doing anything to fix them, then you're part of the problem.
PEOPLE WHO INSULT YOUR INTELLIGENCE
I was going to say "people who think they know better than you," but I feel I've sort of touched on those people in a couple previous statements. (This also falls in the same category as those comments that are like "She's pretty... for her age" or "That was good... for a girl.")
You can call me every name in the book. You can even call me a bitch (which I take as a compliment). But you can't call my friends a bitch (and trust me, I know when you mean it as a joke or as an insult... but that's a separate post altogether). The only thing I get touchy about is when you insult my intelligence.
At work recently, my manager assigned me a menu to update, but it was for a place out of state, and I was working the night shift and wasn't sure when I'd be able to speak with the guy on the phone so I emailed him to let him know what was going on, and when would be a good time to call or if he wanted to mark up a menu and send it back to us. Well, the day he replied to me (I think), my manager spoke to him (no idea if she was checking on my stuff or he just happened to call or whatever), but she added a note in the ticket about the revisions he told her about. So walking back to my desk, she called me over and said she spoke with the guy and wrote the needed revisions in the ticket. I said okay, thanks,and turned to leave, but then she stopped me and started reading the items to me. At first I thought she was just giving me a general overview, but I was looking at the screen as she spoke - and pointed along with her finger - every frakkin word she had typed. (Did I all of a sudden forget how to read?)
At a job a while back my boss hired a sales rep for one of our East Coast customers as well as to try and drum up more business/customers. One day he gave me this giant book (kind of like a real estate property book or one of those Entertainment Coupon books), and he had gone through and highlighted random company names on random pages. He wanted me to make him a spreadsheet of all the highlighted companies pertinent information. (Now previous to this, whenever someone gave me an assignment like this, they flagged the pages in which I was supposed to work on.) So I asked him how many items had he marked, and if he had flagged any of the sections. He then opened the book in front of me and said, "Well, you see here on this page. That one is highlighted. Then you turn the page. There's another one." (I wanted to shove the book down his throat.) Thanks for answering the question by not answering the questions... asshole!
My final example is my friend's ex. This happened many many years ago. A large group of us were having out together, and at one point we were talking about ringtones. Cell phones were still pretty new at the time. Personalized ringtones that didn't sound like they were made with a Casio keyboard were not really around yet. My complaint was I had come across people who had a unique ringtone that when they're phone would go off, they would just let it play until the "song" was done and then answer the phone. It seemed like it was "hey check out what my new cool toy can do" move. (I had seen it many time when I worked at the bookstore. Most of the ringtones people let play to show them off were really annoying, hitting high pitches that made people want to claw their eyes out... or kill whoever owned the cell phone.) Not having a cell phone myself, I asked the boyfriend what ringer he had on his phone. (Everyone had mentioned theirs already.) He said, "You wouldn't know it." I said, "You don't know that." He said, "It's this gothic style-." And just then his phone went off, and I said, "Oh! Toccata and Fugue. I love that song." He glanced at me over his shoulder and said "Yeah" before moving to another room to take the call. (Shows you right, bastard. I know my Bach.)
>>>
I'm pretty sure there are other things I didn't think of this time around, but the challenge asked for five, and that's what I gave,
Later my lovelies.
Have Goodness!
Rae
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