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Friday, July 15, 2016

Q&A - Tell Me What You Want, What You Really Really Want

What do you need right now?
This question makes me think of the song "What You Need" by INXS.

Hey, here is the story

Forget about the trouble in life
Don't you know, it's not easy
When you gotta walk upon that line

That's why - You need
That's why - This is what you need
I'll give you what you need

Don't you get sad and lonely
You need a change from
What you do all day
Ain't no sense in all your crying
Just pick it up and throw it into shape

Hey you, won't you listen
This is not the end of it all
Don't you see there is a rhythm
I'll take you where you
Really need to be


Okay, back to the question.

Usually what I need right now is a cocktail the size of the Grand Canyon due to work being a bitch, and people - occasionally the random co-worker but mostly customers or just plain being overworked - but yeah... work and the people involved in that whole process sometimes (more often than not) make me wanna drink. LOL

But I'm going to say in reality - I just need space.

ME time.

Time to relax, be creative, and work on my things. (And it wouldn't hurt to actually have some energy/motivation/inspiration to work on all the things I want to work on.)

I remember working part-time and going to college full-time... and most of the time riding my bike all over the place since I didn't have a car. And let me tell you... YES, I was WAY more fit than I am now, but I also had NO energy to do any of the other things I needed to do, And then when my day off would come up - when there was no school or work - all I'd want to do is be lazy, but I'd go out and run errands or do laundry or whatever needed to be done.

Nowadays, it's almost like that - post-college edition.

I basically work full-time Monday through Friday... but it's not the same shift every day, and lately there are days where I stay extra to help with coverage, etc.. I'm also acquiring more and more tasks and responsibilities... so that's fun.

Oh... why am I not helping out with this thing? Because I'm taking care of stuff that no one else is taking care of.

Oh yeah, The struggle is real.

And then there's that whole not being able to chill at my desk and do what I want to do. When I used to take an hour lunch - I take a 30min lunch now so I get out 30min earlier - I would sit at my desk, earbuds in, Google docs open, working on writing. Someone would walk up, stop at my desk, Sometimes I would see them on the brink of my periphery, but most of the time I would not know they're there. So of course, instead of noticing I'm not working - I have even put up a note at eye level saying DO NOT DISTURB - LUNCH BREAK - but do people read or take notice of obvious things? No. I would get a tap on the shoulder, I'd be torn away from the writing vibe, yank out an earbud and turn to them, and they'd ask, "You on lunch?"

At this point, a comment mentally scrolls through my mind which involves a variety of swear words pointing out the obvious, but I would say "Yes," and then most of the time they'd bow out, but there have been some that would say "Sorry... could you help me with something?" More mental obscenities would play out, but then I'd usually politely redirect them to one of the many other associates available (and on the clock) that could help them. *rollseyes*

Then I made a point to leave the office. Actually step outside and sometimes chat with people outside on their break. But even still being outside, I'd get the random person who'd come out, see me, and say "You on break?" (Yes numbnuts! I'm on break. If I'm not at my desk - or in the building - I'm not on the clock... now GO AWAY!!!)

I even went as far as sitting in my car and listening to an audiobook. Windows down, of course, so I could breathe, and then in the middle of eating my lunch and listening to the story, someone would come up and want to be social. And of course, since something  was playing on my stereo, they feel the need to speak up, and it's like GAWDDAMMIT!!! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO HAVE SOME TIME TO MYSELF?! FOR ONE DAMN HOUR!?

And some people would have the nerve to be offended like "Sorry for bothering" but in that sarcastic way, and it's like - really? Do I really have to leave the office and repark down the street to get some peace and quiet on my break?

But yes, aside from work drama and griping, all I'd really need any day of the week is some genuine ME-time to get stuff I want to get done DONE! Like m writing.

And an unlimited free open bar at my disposal wouldn't hurt either.

Later my lovelies,

Have Goodness!
Rae

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