Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Failing, Falling & Rising Back Up

Who knew Batman and Chumbawamba followed the same motto? 
Day two of my new schedule, and for the most part it's okay, but with people on leave or vacation or just gone... and with the other added tasks I've been given, I feel like I'm falling behind and failing.

I work weekdays only - off at 3:30pm, but I stayed about a half hour later yesterday to take care of things and prep for today... only to do the same thing today.

So much to do...

I appreciate that people see me as capable and responsible, but sometimes I want to scream

"I'm only one person, and when I'm not being the go-to person for my department, there are other things I have to do that come before whatever task you just gave me so FRAKKIN STEP OFF AND CHILL OUT!!!"

I'm sure I'll get the hang of things eventually although at the moment it feels like that will never happen. With any new thing, there is an adjustment period, and even though this just started, it feels like I'll never get the hang of it.

But I'm capable... I know I can do this. I'm a BAWSE, and I can handle it. I got this.

I just have to remember that when it feels like my inner demons are screaming that I don't.

Feeling like I'm failing, I think of that scene from Batman where Young Bruce falls down the well, and he's rescued, and there's the lesson of "Why do we fall?"

It's a learning curve, and I'll get the hang of it. Eventually it'll even out - the desperate part of my mind feels like it never will, but I try to kick that part me in the junk and tell it to shut the frak up.

I got this... I think.

Also, "Why do we fall?" is sort of a classy version of the song "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba. (I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never gonna keep me down.) Just sayin'.

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!

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