Monday, June 27, 2016

Q&A - Sometimes Maps Are Liars

When was the last time you got lost?
I think that was when I went to visit my friend Kim M.

We had met many, many moons ago through mutual friends and at one point were roommates (for about 3 years, I think).

She now lives a couple hours away in her new humble adode, and I had been invited a few times to come see her, but I was either sick or previously engaged or whatever... but then I thought that day "today is the day."

Now I will state for the record in true confession style that I am one to get lost/turned around when going somewhere for the very first time. After that, muscle memory kicks in, and I'm good.

This being my first time going to her new place - she used to live closer to me but moved only recently, maybe in the past few months - I had my trusty iPhone and mapped out directions... but then hit a toll booth and didn't have enough cash on me. So I pulled off the freeway to try and find a bank or ATM.

And this is where crap got annoying.

I forget the name of the city I was in, but damn I know I'd been there before. It was almost like road trip limbo for those that need to pull off the freeway for some reason or another. Everywhere I turned there were either residential neighborhoods, parks, empty parking lots, private properties, or businesses that were closed.

And a few places I didn't feel comfortable pulling up to since they left me with a sketchy feeling.

Feeling like I had gone in circles, I finally come across a grocery store - which is good since powerloss had started, and I realized I hadn't brought any supplies. I go in, take care of business, and as I'm leaving, an ambulance and firetruck pull up. I had texted Kim that I had to make a pit stop and would be there soon. (Her and Miles G had to run an errand as well so we were going to make it to her place roughly around the same time.)

I get back on the freeway, pay my toll, and eventually cross into Kim Land... where I cannot find her house to save my life.

The map said to turn onto a street that I couldn't find. Not being able to see street signs very well, I followed the dot on the map that represented me in relation to the dot that represented Kim.

I was starting to feel that those two dots would never meet.

I pulled over and took a very close look at the map - zooming in as close as I could. There was a KFC. Great! A landmark. Praise Jeebus! I pull my u-turn, go back toward where the KFC was supposed to be,,, and still couldn't find it and almost crossed the street that I had turned off from to get to her 'neighborhood.'

So... from the main road I was on, I was supposed to turn left on a street whose sign I couldn't see. Further more, the directions did not say I had to cross a couple intersections to get to her house. It just said "turn left and you're there." What the reality was - I had to turn left onto a road where the grid was not perfectly square but looked more like a protractor and compass got drunk one night and made the map for this place.

Taking a chance, I turned down a road that I found the street sign on the right side but it was a different name on the left... when I finally found a sign. But I turned and then pulled over again to consult the map. My dot seemed to be going in the correct direction though I was in the middle of houses and business lots. I glanced up to see something red a couple blocks away. Slowly pulling forward to get a better look, there like a beacon of hope was the KFC,

And there was much rejoicing.

See, from the freeway, I had to follow the road to a certain street where it said then a couple blocks down to turn left to get to her house... but I had to cross three intersection of cross traffic (my road having the stop sign), and from where it said to turn... you cannot see the KFC at all. It was blocked by houses or a warehouse or something. It wasn't until I was waiting to cross the street at whatever angle the crazy grid had laid out that I could see it... when it was practically right in front of me.

Stupid map directions. Your buddy the map helped me better than you did, but both of you still made me pull over several times misleading with your crap

But eventually I got there. And next time I visit, it'll be SO much easier to find.

Now as for parking... yeah, that could be improved a bit.

And that is the most recent story of me getting lost. (Ta da!)

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!

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