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Friday, June 17, 2016

Q&A - Here Wishy Wishy Wishy...

Complete this thought: "I wish I had paid more attention to...".
I know that without the experiences I've had I would not be the person I am now.

With that said, there are some things that I wish I could have changed or done differently - like my time in the East Coast... or when my mom cut my hair hella short... or skipped a grade or two when I had the chance...

Strangely enough though - this is going to sound selfish, but - I wish I had paid more attention to me.

Yes - throughout my life I have had my selfish moments, but I feel I'm basically a good person and put others before myself. Even to this day, I find I have the tendency to try and be accommodating to everyone around me foregoing my own happiness, etc.

I mean, hell - recently I felt bad about saying no to something at work even though I had a lot on my plate at the moment and not enough time to tack something else on to my responsibilities and tasks, I felt like I was disappointing people.

I don't know my self-worth a lot of the time, and when I was younger my support system was small, but kids can be cruel, and since I was a little different, I got made fun of (and taken advantage of) a lot. That in some way or another snowballed into adulthood, but in my high school years was when I started to come into my own - seeing the world and what was happening in it - and started feeling more comfortable in saying what I wanted and doing what I wanted one baby step at a time.

Yes, I would love the world to like me and be my friend, but you're not going to be everyone's cup of tea and that's fine with me... now. Back then, I assimilated myself to be what this person or that person wanted and then became a total basketcase when everyone was in the same room.

If I had paid more attention to my gut feelings and the things that I wanted, I might have had a better time back in the day and may not be in certain states where I am now.

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But I'm much better now.

Later my lovelies,

Have Goodness!
Rae

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