Check Me Out! I'm a Blog Post!

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat
'Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me, yeah

-from the song "Shake It Out" by Florence and the Machine

I just finished a story that made my brain soft and squishy like spreadable cheese... just not as tasty.  So I felt like doing a post right afterward.  Aren't I special?

So as far as writing goes, I've already updated a few story blogs (as I will share with you... NOW!)

• Nedea is at part fifteen
• The Strange Adventures of Princess Blue is at part twenty-six
• Della is at part nine
• a boy, a girl, and a line... is updated with the story Into the Black

That makes four out of (counts on fingers) fourteen updates done.  Ten more to go!

"Into the Black" killed my head.  I had this idea, but my brain went somewhere else with it.  I knew how I wanted the line of dialogue to be delivered but then something in my noggin said FUCK YOU!, and it was done. 

By no means am I a space kind of writer.  I love Star Trek and Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica and all that, but I'm not an author of those things.  I'm in no way John Ringo, David Weber, Eric Flint... oh you get my meaning.  I blow at those kinds of things.  Characters I can write, but those settings and details?  Yeah.  I'm pure crap.  I bullshitted my way around the story, and for that I apologize to anyone who reads as well as to Jillian S who gave me the prompt in the first place.  I really should have done better by your guidance.

Random comment: I need a happier profile pic.  Don't you think?

Moving on...

My mind is filled with utter randomness.  As far as my writing goes?  Here's a taste of current events.

Things I'm currently thinking of regarding my various stories (aka kids).

• Lost and Found: I need to do something with Jarvis.  I wrote him up somewhere and then... what?  Also, I need to edit some parts that don't agree with each other.  I wrote something in the beginning and then I made it different later on.  Actually, I think it was more than just one thing.  (Ugh!!!)
• Nedea: I need to bring The Suits back.  I keep thinking I need to do more with them.  And that lady.  Need more with her.  And I don't even think I gave Nedea a hair color or physical description.  And what's a pretty name for the new lady I introduced?
• Kearie: Damn that secret room.  I come up with stuff, and now I need to justify its existence.  Frak ME!  Also need to incorporate more Wonderland-type folk.  I think Mother needs a name, too. 
• Real Life I (just) Made Up: I really need to change the title or something.  It started off as an exercise, but life always gets in the way with me, and so it fell to the wayside.  (guilt + life = abandoned ideas)  Yes, that is a definite thing to do, but I'll get around to that... sometime.  Right now, I need to figure out where to go from where I'm at.
• The Strange Adventures of Princess Blue: Gotta break her out of prison, but how?  Also need to do more with the King.
• Enyo: What is wrong with you?
• Della: Need to introduce the bad guy... sometime.
• The Curly Muse: Not just on this blog, but in general... I need to write more poetry, but I feel I write best when I'm depressed, and right now, I'm stressed.  There is a difference.
• a boy, a girl, and a line...: What the FRAK am I going to do for John S's prompt?  Also a little eager to start working on some of the new prompts my friends gave me.
• Tales of the Unemployed and Unloved: How long before I make Arwyn happy? And should I do something to Clark? And I need a name for cute guy in the blue shirt.
• Results of the Writers' Wheels-o-Wonder: I really need to get my head in the game and my writer mojo flowing. That story blog needs massive updates... and pronto!
• Stoically Challenged: Almost done with all the challenges.  I think I have four left.  What's up with that?  (poke-poke Alithea S poke-poke)
• Sanya: I have a vague idea about where this is going though I'm sure it'll require me writing fight scenes... and we all know how secure I feel about writing those kinds of scenes.
• Everything At Least Once: Maybe I'll come across something while in San Diego... or on the road to and/or from there?  As of yet, I have nothing.  I also want to do more than just food.
• Penelope: I need to outline the house more as well as create some more bad guys.  I miss the days where Penelope exploded and took out that chic.  Remember that?  Yeah. Good times.
• Jenny S/Chris M story: Yeah, I haven't forgotten about you. I just need to find a way to get my creepy back.  I know I should just not think about it and have it seep back in naturally... let the force flow through me (so to speak), but the fact that I'm having trouble being creepy is really bumming me out.

Looking through my notes, my OCD is not happy so I definitely need to do something about that.

I'm feeling rather spastic when it comes to San Diego. 

FIVE MORE DAYS!!!

I'm also nervous since I'm doing some recon/writing-work for my friend Lon L.  I don't want to let him down.  He wants me to write a little somethin'-somethin' before I leave, like a prequel to my trip.  He said he'd email the specs this weekend.  We'll see how this goes. 

I'm also a little nervous about riding with my friend Geoff T.  Usually I'm part of a partnered car ride, but it's just going to be us for (counts on fingers) roughly six hours.  Then we pick up Jim G in LA and BOOM! - onwards to San Diego.  I dunno.  Maybe I'm making something out of nothing.  I hope so.  I just want to be a good traveling companion.  I hope I don't annoy him or anything.  We trekked back from San Diego last year, and I was too groggy to stay awake for him or drive for too long.  (I blame the trolleys and the walking back to our hotel room which took... how many hours?  My body still hates that night for all eternity, and all I got to show for it was awesome calves and a walk that made me look like a geriatric penguin on slow-mo.)  He's an introvert, and I'm (even though I thoroughly agree with Kathy W about omniverts, in this scenario, I'm essentially) an extrovert.  I hate uncomfortable silences.  I tend to pass out easily on car trips.  FRAK!!!  I just need to shut the hell up and catch up on my audiobooks.

I'm trying not personal stress like home and family and other stuff.  I'm hopeful that when I get back from San Diego, awesome things will find me (like perhaps my updates car tags for one?).

I'm tired of being grumpy and agitated and worried all the time.  I miss being happier.  I want shitty things to stop happening to me and those that I love.  I want to not want to beat the crap out of people who I know are being annoying even though I think they really need a good ass-whuppin'.  I want to be happy for people instead of jealous.  I want to go to the movies.  I want to laugh more and not feel guilty about it.  I want a little more freedom than I seem to have right now.

Hello, Universe?  Ya hearin' any of this?  Hello!!!  (knock knock)

I want to be me again... the me I haven't felt like in a long time.  (Is that so much to ask?)

I sadly won't be able to afford any of the Conversations for a Cause at NERDHQ.  I mean, it's sad enough that I never got to see the CHUCK panel at SDCC, but to miss the NERDHQ conversation?  That kind of blows.  But hey... the vids will be up online... eventually.  Happy day!  And maybe I'll work some of the conversations during my volunteer shifts.  That'd be kind of cool.

What would be REALLY cool is if I could get up and sing in front of people at karaoke Wednesday night after orientation.  That could happen, right?  I mean, I'm no Britt F (she's gonna get so tired of me praising her voice as well as reminding everyone how jealous I am of her talent, but dammit... I don't care right now... okay, yeah I do), but I'm decent... I think... when I'm alone in the car with the windows all rolled up.

Random thought: If I had a Star Trek replicator in my room, oh the cocktails I would drink...

All right.  I think by this point, I am just rambling. 

Pretty much what you can get from this post is that I want to write, I want my life to be better, I want to be happy.

A little more confidence, a job, and financial security wouldn't hurt either but that goes without saying.  *wink*

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae