I try hard to manage my stress. And there's a lot of it.
Two things happen when I let stress get to me. I either make myself sick or I break out. The making myself sick part comes out in your standard stomach pains/nausea as well as headaches. The break out part is my skin... like holding everything in and needing it to get out somehow in the form or hives, acne, or the occasional cold sore. The hives thing is REALLY uncomfortable and fortunately has only happened a couple times. The acne thing pretty much happens in places I normally breakout - which is basically my face, in the usual places I may break out during my powerloss days.
Recently I experienced a cold sore.
I hadn't had one in a while, but I let my stress get the better of me - it happens - and over something so silly. A friend was having a themed birthday party, and since I'm not crafty and couldn't find any suitable costume components at thrift stores, I had decided on something basic but would get the point across. (It was a Harry Potter themed event, and I was going to make myself a Gryffindor tie.)
|my tie (plus party favors/decorations|
The stress started when I couldn't find a plain red tie. Then I FINALLY found two I could possibly use at the thrift store, but then fabric paint was an issue - I couldn't decide which shade of yellow to use on the tie. (Thank gawd for friendly craft store employees.) I tried taping up one tie to do the style I had set my mind on, but it wasn't working. (It already had thin stripes on it that I thought I could use as a guideline, but the tape I had wasn't working with the stripes layout.) So then I went to another craft store on the way home from work one day, got some thinner tape to use with the tape I already had and then set to making my tie that night.
That's when I felt the familiar tingle in my lip.
The next morning - the day of the party - I looked like I'd been punched in the mouth. It wasn't so bad, but whenever I get a cold sore, I can't stand it. Even though it's a natural thing, I feel like some hideous creature and never want to leave my house for fear of scaring the villagers. But it was a birthday party, and I braved my stupid anxiety and headed out.
It tapered away rather quickly. A few days later it just looked like I'd had a small cut on my upper lip, but meh. My wintery dried lips didn't help matters either in getting the damn thing, but that's a whole other ball of wax to talk about it.
So yeah, it was - in the grand scheme of things - something minor to stress/worry over, and I usually am really good at talking myself down, picking my battles, etc. But I know there are times when I get really concentrated on one thing - not all the time, just once in a while - where I decide on something, how I want it to work, and then when it doesn't go the way I would have preferred, it takes a little ranting/raving before I calm down and find a work-around and then just relax about the whole thing.
I was hanging out with a friend this past weekend who just simply said "Don't stress." And I know he was trying to be helpful as well as being funny, but it's not a switch you can turn on or off at will. Yeah, I've gotten better at managing things, but feeling a certain way pretty much your whole life and then someone saying "Don't feel that way" is easier said than done and a little aggravating.
And I'm in no way pissed or whatever at my friend since I know where he was coming from with it, and he knows when to shut if off. It merely brought up other times when I've had serious conversations with people, and they make statements like that without really taking the other person into consideration.
And now I'm dealing with a little bit of Life/Me stress that is feeling a little overwhelming, and I'm trying my best to chill and think positively about the whole thing and not let it take me over.
Yes, it will work out.
Yes, it will all be good.
Yes, there's really nothing to stress over.
Let's see if this works.
And now... to do some yoga.
Later my lovelies.