Knock Knock. (Who's there?) Accomplishment!

You ever had a Red Bull? I've never had a Red Bull before, but I had a Red Bull last night - I really like Red Bull. [shakes his glow-in-the-dark hoop] ... got this new... glow in the dark thing... cant really see it right now, unless you go like this...
[holds part of the hoop to his eyes and covers it with his hands]  

~Carl Allen from the movie "Yes Man"

Hey listen y'all!  I've been productive!  Yay!  I'm so proud of me.

So with my goal of being published in some capacity or another by my 35th birthday (which is this November), I have been trying to kick my own ass and get to writing more.

As I look for work (FRAK you unemployment, I'm awesome!), I've been trying to be more productive.  Insomnia (the cursed bitch) has come back to visit me again leaving me awake until (almost) the sun comes up.  After giving myself a little time off, I started setting my alarm to get up earlier than I usually do (which with the insomnia leaving me awake to almost sunrise, my body, when eventually unconscious, makes up for whatever it needs to function resulting in a day wasted... at least that's what it feels like.)

Not sure they've been helping either, but I've been tapping the ass of the sugar free Red Bull (it seems they're on sale everywhere I go).  I purchase two cans and down one on the way to the library finishing it usually before I park.  Then I just lug a protein bar and a big bottle of water in with me for nourishment for my vitamins to feed off of as well as hydrate my creativity nodes.

What?  (Don't ask.  It's safer that way.)

Moving onwards...

So alarm set, I wake up, shower, pack some gear and head to the library to do some writing.

Small rant here, but aren't you supposed to be quiet at a library?  I mean, that's what I was always taught.  And depending on when I go, I get a reasonably quiet atmosphere save the occasional self-checkout bleeps or soft thud of book deposits.  I go in with my iPhone on silent, volume off on the computer and set to work.

I give people chances when it comes to common sense.  I don't want to assume right away that everyone is a doofus that needs a good backhand across the gullet to set them straight.  Sort of like that teacher philosophy of everyone starting off with an "A", and they have to earn to keep that "A".

If I were a teacher and my fellow library visitors were my students, they'd all lose their "A" within seconds.

Stupid scruples FAIL!

In the times that I've gone recently, I've been bombarded by a chaotic symphony of various cell phone chimes, computer jingles and random blathering chatter.  And it's not the high school students either.  (There's a high school down the street from the library where, after their day is over, a cluster of them come to the library - most to study or wait for their parents to pick them up.  Some of them are annoying, but mostly they're not that bad.)  It's the adults!

Perhaps I should warm up my backhand...

I bring my mp3 player just in case to tune out the noise... which isn't all day.  It comes in waves.  (I love the quiet moments.  They are most lovely.)

So in the days that I've been going, I've been working on my NaNoWriMo novel.  I transported it to Google docs recently (any other writers use this?) though I haven't added the scene I've been working on separately.  It's only until recently (Wednesday, I think), that I actually made the scene reasonably gel together as opposed to just be chunks of one scene that if you were to read it wouldn't make sense.

That made me feel rather accomplished.

I also solved my frakkin storyline math problem.  Thank GAWD!!!

It had to do with the main character, and my brain just couldn't work past it.  I would make a note to go back to it, but then I'd hit something later down the line, and then my brain would say, "Hello?  Remember that thing you didn't workout earlier?  Yeah, it's back."

My brain likes telling me "I told you so" even though I already know.  I wish it'd stop doing that.  Ugh, if I didn't need it...  *grumble grumble grumble*

So I realize now that while working on my novel, there's a small chance I won't finish it (or my other novel I'm also working on in a sort of tennis volley fashion).  Then I think I should probably find some short story contests to possibly submit to.  I recently bought two writing magazines.  I shall need to peruse them for contests or some such.

Silly question but... do magazines take submissions of the "please publish this in your publication" variety or is it strictly a contest thing?  I have no idea how to go about that.  Help?  Anyone?  I'd totally love a little guidance here.

I'm currently thinking about the scene from Wednesday.  It's not totally done, and my mind is racing with what to do with it.  I know what I'd like to do, but I've reached another roadblock which might seem silly to you, but it's where I'm at (and it's important to me).

I need to design the houses.

Okay, for the two main characters, I need to figure out the layout of their houses.  They're both one level.  One's got a porch and a separate garage from the house.  And a nice backyard for bbq's.  The other one just has a sort of small porch, not the kind you can sit on in a rocking chair and enjoy a glass of lemonade or something, but big enough to maybe set a decent sized Christmas decoration like a Santa or Snowman or something.

Yeah, I'm babbling.

Anyway, the scene from Wednesday needs a little choreography (Person goes down this hall to this room, cuts back around, hits the kitchen, then goes to the bedroom, etc).  I need to know where everything is so I can guide my people around better.  I might need to do that to another couple houses, but the houses that are most frequented belong to the two main characters.

All right, it's a quarter after 2am, and I really should be hitting the sack.  I have two places to go tomorrow - one in the morning and one in the afternoon - and I'm trying to decide if I have time to hit the library or perhaps chill at a coffee shop before heading out to my afternoon dealio.

Hmmm... decisions, decisions...

All I know is that I need more places to go write (other than the one library).  There's a coffee shop that I went to (think I previously mentioned it in one of the previous entries).  That places is peaceful, free wifi, and has COFFEE!!!  Plus the dude is hella nice.  Problem is it's a little out of the way, and closes earlier than I'd like.  The library stays open until 8pm on Mondays and Tuesdays.  The coffee shop closes most days around 5pm.

Anyone in the Bay Area know of a nice place with free wifi, tables, chairs, and outlets where a girl can hook-up and write?  Holla at yer girl!  Let me know.  I'd sure appreciate it.

Okay, off to beddy bye.

Later my lovelies!

Have Goodness!
Rae

Writer For Hire (and other such novelties)

Details of your incompetence do not interest me.
-Miranda Priestly from "The Devil Wears Prada"

Really?  Since March?  Has it been THAT long?  Really?  [looks back at last post]  March 8th.  Oh good gravy!  Pardon me for my lagging ways.  It's been an interesting time to say the least.

So what's been going on in my life that I haven't been blogging over here?

Well, let me tell you my loyal readers.  All... [squints and starts to count everyone]...

Oh never mind.  I can't count higher than one anyway.  LOL!

So as of the beginning of the year, I started a contract gig with a financial firm.  I worked mostly downtown and in conjunction with teams worked with venture capital clients in preparing financial statements for them.

When it was slow, it was sloooooowww...

When it wasn't slow, I had no time to write since I was working on edits and formatting and... you get the picture.

Keeping myself awake became a hassle.  I sat there in the room they'd assigned me and the rest of the group I was hired with, and we were all never busy together which sucked ass.  We'd help each other out on occasion, but there were days where I had to go for little walks around the building or to/from lunch to get the creative juices flowing.  I drank tons of coffee and occasionally visited the vending machine in the kitchen as to barter one of the souls I've collected in exchange for a little can of sugar-free Red Bull.  (Did you hear?  It doesn't give you wings... just a nasty caffeine aftertaste at the back of your throat.)

I'm much better when my mind is stimulated (and holy crap, that job was filled with moments like that).

But whether I was busy working on many, many funds or just trying to stay awake while working on a few - my brain was never in the right mindset to be creative and WRITE!!!

Insomnia + job + shitload of overtime = dead brain/no writing

While working this last gig, my routine was pretty much (I hate to say it) wake up... shower/dress... work... home... sleep... repeat.  I'd sometimes manage to fit a little food in there, but yeah, that was the gist of it.  I'd force myself to go out on occasion (when the overtime monster didn't sniff me out), and I'd head to weekly get-togethers at friends' houses and try not to pass out.  Or I'd just take myself out to a movie to get away from the chatter of the world and find some solitude in two hours worth of a fake reality that wasn't mine though sometimes wish it was.
 
In-between gigs, my insomnia makes it difficult to have any spare time to be creative.  I'm trying to use all my conscious "in the now" moments to find new gigs, network, do the do... which leaves little time/energy for anything else.

Recently, I took some time and visited my family.  (Party time with my niece is always awesome to have.)

*too school for cool!!!*

But of course my time with my family was either spent being with them... or sleeping.  (I managed to fit in some Seester time, too.)

*Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?*

So I didn't bring anything really to work on... though my mind... it is always churning with the ideas.

Now only if I could get those ideas out of my head, into my fingers and typed out into a word doc of some kind... yeah, that would be awesome.  (Other things would be awesome, but right now, let's stick to the topic of writing, shall we?)

I got home really late Sunday night/Monday morning from visiting my family.  (Totally random, but I love driving at night.  There's a peace and privacy that I find relaxing.  Also, I can sing like a diva in the car and no one's the wiser.  Oh yeah, that's right.  I *totally* whip my hair back and forth.)

I am a curl on the wind... watch how I Fro!

Oh good gravy!  Just ignore that last bit.

Anyway, I wasn't feeling too well Monday when I woke up.  (I "lost my powers" for the month, and that's all I'm going to say on the matter.  If you don't get it by now, ask a friend.)  I pretty much stayed in bed most of the day.  I did some work from there (filled out some documents, did some internet searches, made a few phone calls, napped while curled up in a little ball wishing for the pain to stop...)

All in all, aside from the little productivity I managed to accomplish, the day was a bit of a waste.

I vowed to make the next day better.

So with my handy-dandy iPhone, I made a list of things I wanted to do during the day... half of which had to do with writing.  I got a later start than usual, but then again "power loss" usually takes a lot out of me leaving me to feel like the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz although an oil can really ain't gonna fix me up.

In any case, I stopped by the drugstore for some girly items and then headed for the library in an attempt to do some writing.

Now last week I had gone there and the place was virtually empty so I thought I'd have the same luck today.

Um, yeah.  That's a negative, Ghost Rider, the pattern is full. 

Translation: it was the opposite of empty.

I grabbed my bag of writing stuff, and headed inside.  I was followed and preceded by a group of high school girls.  The larger group took up some tables near the window on the top floor where I was planning on sitting.  I ended up taking a seat in between the audio books and the spinny racks of mass markets.

I tried a trek downstairs, but all the laptop desks were taken (especially the one in the corner at the end of the science fiction/fantasy section... which is ALWAYS taken by the same old dude all day every time I go down there.  Oh yeah man, I'm calling you out.  Give a chic a chance, man.  And hey, do you even READ science fiction/fantasy?  Sheesh!)

I ho-hummed it back upstairs, ditched my original location (which was still available) and headed further into the young adult section (which is separated from the rest of the kids department and shares space with the DVDs).  I took up what looked like a desk (which was cool since no one could really share it with me), and began setting up my spot.  On my right was a small round table which a chic and a dude sat at, but they were cool.  Their conversations made me laugh.  (They were later replaced by some chic and what seemed to be her French tutor.  Not as fun but still not annoying.)

Since I had no outlet near me, I whipped out my notebook, post-it flags, highlighter, pen, mp3 player and bottle of Vitmain water.

Probably would have tasted better cold. #justsayin

Then it was time for some storytelling magic.

Have I mentioned that my handwriting is atrocious?  Well, at least I think it is.  I plugged in my earbuds, tried to tune out the teens, children and various noise in my vicinty, and started to write.

Looking through my notebook I had devoted to my #NaNoWriMo story last year, I found a scene that I had started before leaving for my recent family visit.  Not much was written, but it was still fresh in my brain so I thought I'd work on that.

It's a story that alternates points of view.

Right now I'm having issues with storyline math.  What I mean by that is trying to decide when something starts, how long it's been going on, what dates to use, etc.  It may be minor, but my brain is having issues getting past it.  When writing a scene, I'll need to reference a moment or time frame, and since I haven't completely figured out the storyline math, I get stuck.  I try to tell myself "keep going... leave a note there to work on it later and keep going", but there's another part of me that demands I solve the issue then and there... and I can't.

That happen to anyone else?  (Does anyone even understand what the frak I'm saying?)

In the end I wrote seven handwritten pages.  That may not be a lot to you, but it means something to me.  I'm hoping to get some typing done soon.  I type what I'm thinking faster than manual script.  Now working a few months on the laptop from my previous gig, my hands have to get re-used to the minibook keys.

Small hands... you'd think it'd be easier than it has been.  Sheesh.

I thought I'd try the library again tomorrow, but instead I think I'm going to a place a friend and I went once.  It's a little out of the way, but I think I can manage it.  Now if I can just remember where it is.  I'm sure I can once I start driving.  *fingers crossed*

Okay, I'm starting to get a little cross-eyed and droopy-headed.

Yeah. Kinda like that, I guess, although the bags under *my* eyes are a lot smaller. (Or at least I hope they are.)

Talk to you later, dearies.  I'm going to try and get some sleep.  I hear it's the latest thing.  All the cool kids are talking about it.  *grin*

Drop me a line to let me know what's going on in your own writing worlds... or just to let me know that I'm not alone out here in this blogging universe.

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Illness, fatigue & insanity make one *mean* smoothie!

Aramis: Where have you been?

Porthos: Taking care of something ugly!

-The Three Musketeers (Disney, 1993)

How does one find the time to write?

Some weeks ago, I had the plague.  It seemed that everyone around me was catching it, and then it hit my house.  One housemate had it.  Then my landlady and her husband got it.  Surrounded by all this plagueyness going on, I was bound to get something.  It was inevitable.

Then... I caught the plague.

Well, okay... not the full-blown plague.  Maybe the mini-plague.

Okay, it was more of a cold.  (Let's not pick nits, shall we?)

I don't usually get sick.  Sure, I get the occasional migraine or body ache from Aunt Flow or when the weather changes it causes my sinuses to go all haywire, but as far as full-blown, have to call in sick to work because I can't walk/talk/eat/digest/feel anything... that rarely happens.

But when it does, it happens BIG TIME!

Usually when I feel the beginnings of anything plague-ish coming on, I try and nip it in the bud as soon as possible.

My method of choice?  I'm a heavy medicator.  It usually does the job along with vitamins and a good dosage of fluids (tea, juice, water - that sort of thing).  I try to get as natural and organic as I can, but alas - I cannot.  One of these days I'm sure with all the medicine that's in me, you would be able to shut off the lights, and I would like a giant heifer lightning bug... but I'm hoping the amount of fluids I consume during such sick moments flushes out the medicine aftermath rather sufficiently so as not to make my innards too toxic.  LOL!

I've been surrounded by A LOT of sick people lately so I haven't been able to do much in the way of writing, but I'm getting better and hoping to change that.

Before the plague hit, I managed to do a little writing.  My brain was void of inspiration toward the three main writing projects I've been working on, but I managed to do this and this so I suppose all was not lost.  After all, I wrote something, right?

This post, in fact, some could say "Why bother with this and not actual writing?"

Well, awesome question Bubba.  And the only thing that I can say to that is I'm not in the zone.

At this moment in time, working a FRAK-ton of overtime combined with the minimal amount of sleep I've been getting nightly (thank you Insomnia, you cruel bitch of a mistress) leaves my body and mind almost completely dead to the world.  As I type, I am writing through a stream of consciousness that will either sound coherently grand or like the Peanuts teacher on acid.

Right now, I have various ideas running through my head but nothing totally solid I can pinpoint and work on.  It's like trying to remember your favorite dish from some restaurant you went to years ago, and all you can say is, "It had a peppery taste" or "I think it had something to do with fish".

Point is, I need to be less brain dead and more able to concentrate/focus my will toward my writing.

As it stands, this job assignment (lovely-paying as it may be) is sucking the life out of me, and I hate that.  Aside from draining my creative juices, it's also wreaking havoc on my social life (what there is of one).  One of my personal issues is that I refuse to let my job be my life.  I refuse for my daily routine to be "get up, shower, go to work, come home, eat, sleep"... only to continue it on and on, day in and day out.

I've gone out here and there, but then I end up passing out at the end of the night when I planned to write when I got home.  Then I swear up and down that I'll write the next day and then something happens.

Needless to say, I feel rather fucked at the moment.

(Yes, I know, I said a bad word.  Get over yourselves.  Take a breath.  It happens.)

This blog was to be about me and my writing and how I'm going about that, but dammit... it's just not flowing as I wish it to be, and it's really pissing me off.

I mean, I have a GOAL for criminey sakes!!!  Yes, it's eight months away, but I'd like it to happen sooner than that... and be a book deal as opposed to just a short story in an awesome magazine, but hey... I'll take what I can get.

So I wonder...

Now I know all us writers experience "writer's block" from time to time, but what about "writer's time" or "writer's exhaustion"?  I find it hard to believe that I'm the only one having this issue.

Anyone else?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Share with me your writing plan and how you achieve it.  (I once went to a book signing of Terry Pratchett where he said he tried to write at least 300 words a day.  If he didn't write everyday, he wouldn't be able to call himself a writer... he'd just be a bum.)  I'm paraphrasing, but you get the gist.

I tried to follow in the lovely man's footsteps.  (Awesome man.  Love his work.  So brilliant and funny.)  But there are just days where I have it in here (taps noggin), but just can't seem to channel down here (refers to arms) and eventually flow out of here (waggles fingers) to get it onto the page whether it be electronic or paper.

So how do you deal with your tired moments?

What do you do to get that writing energy (mental AND physical) to bust out that novel, short story, fanfiction, poem... or whatever it is that you write?

What do you do?

How do you do?

Share with me... if for nothing else to let me know that I'm not alone.

Please... don't make me turn to the bottle.  (Well, unless it's a yummy one!)  LOL!

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Like Janet Jackson sang - "Get it out me"

I've tried so hard to remember what it is that I forgot

But I can, but I can believe... will you now

-from the song "Worried Eyes" by Eagle-Eye Cherry (duet vocals by Titiyo Jah)

While driving to work this morning, I started thinking of various ideas that I wanted to write, but of course at that moment I was on the freeway unable to whip out a pen and paper to jot down my ideas or the scene playing in my head or the dialogue I heard between two people or...

You get the picture.

So it got me thinking about all those lost moments... those bits of story, those segments of story, those little portions of "oh gawd, that would be great" that just slip by because of whatever the reason may be.

Me?  Usually for me it has to do with being WAY too tired for my own good.  (Let's hear for Insomnia, shall we? *yawwwwwwwnnnnnnn*)

I seem to have a lot of grand ideas as I am about to fade to black or when I can't get to a pen.  I have tried to, as my consciousness spirals down the drain, to write down or type out whatever brilliant idea that crossed my synapses before it's too late, but most often it usually is.  The pen slowly starts to slip from my fingers.  Or my hands rest on the laptop keys causing repetitive letters to appear.

No, I'm not being clever.  I've passed out on the computer.

Almost into sleepy oblivion, I try to tell myself "This is good.  You'll remember it in the morning.  You will!  And then after you shower and are fully awake, you will write down notes and ideas and all will be well."

If I had a nickel for every time it hasn't... yeah, you guessed it: Oprah-rich!

It's at those moments that I try to wax on the positive thinking that hey, if it was good enough of a bit, I'll remember it.  It'll come back full circle and then I'll have that epiphany to which I will then write it down and voila!  Masterpiece extravaganza!  (I just love that word.)  LOL!

When the idea doesn't come back, I excuse it, thinking things like, "Must not have been that good of an idea if I can't remember it."

But really, who the frak knows?  Certainly not me.

Who's to say that all my best ideas weren't the ones that lost out to insomnia or a lack of a pen or just plain forgetfulness?

Why must my creative moments torment me so?

You're like that thought or comment that's on the tip of my tongue that I can't quite get at (though when that usually happens, the more I chase it, the more it runs away never to be found... thus is why I forget about it, and if I am meant to know the answer, it will come to me).

If I had a nickel for every time I sat up in bed in the middle of the night screaming random things due remembering them WAY later than I needed to... yeah, Oprah-rich!

Then there are the conscious moments of creativity that just bitch-slap me about as if to say "Yeah, we got a great idea... but we're just going to keep it really vague and not help you formulate it into anything.  Instead, we're just going to leave you with this sense It could be really great, only if... and never follow through."

That's right my friends... a literary-authory cocktease of sorts.

I guess if you think of it that way, then I've had blueballs for a while now.

[re-reads previous line and wonders what is wrong with my brain]

It's just sometimes I get these ideas - these really neato spiffy keen ideas - but for some reason the translation process seems to get all wonky as it makes it way from my brain down the circuitry of my awesomeness and to my hands where I can either write or type out previously stated neato spiffy keen awesomeness.

Maybe I'm wired wrong and the creative juice circuits are flowing elsewhere.

Perhaps I need to start learning to write with other parts of my body?

[imagines pens stuck in various alternate places, and is - for the most part - unhappy with the images]

Any of you have problems like that?  Anyone else have problems with getting their ideas out of their noggins and into some form of legible whozit-whatzit for others to read?  How do you solve the evil plague of writer's block or creative stuckery?

Leave me a comment.  Let me know.  I'll give it a whirl.

And who knows?  It just might work.

[fingers crossed]

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Still waiting... *yawn*

I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait."

-Mitch Hedburg (February 24, 1968 - March 29, 2005)

I'm usually quite the patient person.

I am.

I blame my retail years.  For some reason or another, I remained quite zen back in those days when I had to deal with all sorts of jackasses and fucktards that crossed my path.  If I had a nickel for every time I received compliments on my ability to not rip anyone's head off, I would be set for life.

With that said, I am completely and utterly tired of waiting when it comes to this job.  Do not get me wrong, I am extremely grateful for this job.  I like working (thought it's only for four months).

On a side-note, I don't think I was meant for office life or to be a suit.  (For one thing, dress shoes HURT!) 

The first week was training and since then it's been a little slow with the actual assignments.

Without getting too into details, I am one of a group of eight that were hired to assist teams that work with various clients of the company with financial documents.  Thing is though, we wait for the client to send the docs to the teams we get assigned to, they work on them and then send them to us.

I didn't get my first assignment until my third week here.  Okay, correction: after the first week, we received an email regarding who our first clients were and what teams we would be working with.  I sent out emails, etc, and didn't hear from anyone until the following week.

The first client I was assigned to only had three funds for me to work on.  I sent them back within three days.  They were to look them over and see if there might be anymore edits to make.  I have pinged my contacts via the inter-work chat we have as well as via email, and in the end, the client is dallying their dillies in getting their docs back to them.

So I wait.

Actually, we're all pretty much waiting.

The lady that hired us said that she put the word out to the rest of the company that we were available if they needed any help with anything, and no one has really come a-knocking.  Me and a couple other people helped out with some errands a couple flights up.  There was another lady we were possibly going to help out with scanning docs, etc, but that never happened.

Picture a room with eight people in it, each of them has a laptop and training but nothing to do.

There's one guy that has worked with the company before.  People know him so he was working with them a little before us.  I think he had like five funds or something from them.  I helped him with one of them.  (Yay me!  Self high-five... similar to the sound of one-hand clapping... or the sadness of it.)

The rule of thumb was that if you had a frak-ton of funds to work on and there were others with nothing else to do, then you could give some of your work to them and by doing so, you would accomplish two things: 1) faster turnover rate, and 2) no idle hands.

That worked... for a while.  And then there was nothing.

What do we do in the meantime?  Well, we have the internet...

I will admit to what I do which is...

• Facebook
• Twitter
• email
• YouTube
• play games (like Scrabble, memes, etc.)
• write

There's a girl that sits opposite corner from me.  She's read the whole Stieg Larson series.  Well, I think she's on the third book right now.

Not feeling comfortable saving stuff to the work laptop, I bought myself a thumb drive to store all my writing stuffs on it.

At present, I am working on two novels of my own plus a third a friend asked me to collaborate with him on.  (There's also a fanfiction story that has been put on hold due to me waiting for the series to end so I can get a firm grasp of what the holy hell is going on and write around it.)

Since I started here and with the free time I have had, I have been working on a little bit of everything.  I've written very little of "Dreamgirl"* (my NaNoWriMo novel) and have added even less to "Chloe" (my previous novel I had been working on where my inspiration/energy with it has sort of plateaued into this sedated/subdued "dammit where has all the rum gone?" kind of mood).

At present, I'm working on a scene for "Wolf", but I just can't get the voice of the girl right.  Last night when I got home, I whipped out my notepad and wrote a bit of it in there, but then my body wanted to do its impersonation of a chunky Asian in a coma, so I had to put things away, turn off the lights, crawl under the covers and succumb to my serious acting skills of an unconscious nature.

In my correspondence with my teams, I was told that pretty much I would receive the docs from them by next week.  Today, one of my teams sent me all ten funds, but they sent me just the raw docs - pretty much so I would have them so when I eventually got the numbers from the team (to input into said docs), they would only have to send the data to me.

And I know y'all have no idea of what I'm talking about, but that's okay since you don't really need to.  I guess this is the part of blog where I just ramble, and y'all nod and smile when in fact you wish you could just slap the shit out of me.

It's okay.  You slap because you love.  I understand.  Just don't be surprised if I "love" you back some, a'ight!?

I need to make more time to write.  I have a goal that I want to reach, and it's important to me.  I've been hella tired at work, but that's just because there's nothing to do for now.  (We were reassured that the beginning of the year is usually slow but things will pick up soon.  As much as I love getting paid for nothing, I really would like an assignment or something.)

Due to the tiredness I've been feeling lately (thank you Insomnia - for you?  A big swift kick in the gonads.), I haven't really been able to focus lately.  I mean (metaphorically, of course) is it wrong to want this:

 

I want to be so caught up in my writing that I hear nothing else save the words as they flow from my mind through my blood, into my hands, and out my fingertips - spilling across the keys resulting in awesome wordsmithery.  

Shut up.  You know what I mean.

Instead, I leave work tired and hungry.  I eat, go home and die... just to continue the vicious cycle over and over again.  And then the weekend rolls around.  That means errands... and laundry.

Yes, I feel your envy.  That's okay my darlings.  Let's hug it out, shall we?

Seriously though, I need to get my energy back.  I need to find my writing mojo and get some shit done.

I want to feel like this:

This is the book (and my muses) and me getting along.

Not like this:

This is me ready to choke a bitch (aka when the writing doesn't come).

*smacks table*

*grimaces*

*shakes hand*

*sigh*

Okay, back to writing.

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!

Rae


*not real titles of actual novels - just an abbreviation of sorts to save on space

Hello Blogosphere!!! Como estas, y'all?

I love it when a plan comes together.

-Colonel Hannibal Smith from "The A-Team"

Greetings and salutations one and all. 

My name is Rae, and I will be your aspiring authoress for the length of your stay here.

Hopefully it will be a long one. *grin/wink/nudge-nudge*

Well, hello there... how you doin'?

What is this beloved place you have stumbled upon? Is it Oz? Is it Bizzaro World? Is it Wonderland? Is it some portal to a parallel dimension?

It is all of those things and yet none of those things.

Let me explain.

You have just landed smack dab in the middle of a world beyond normal comprehension. Where reality is interpretive to the individual.  Where time and life are what we make of them.  Where we eat ice cream for breakfast. Where carbs and sugar are food groups. Where a diet is having three beers instead of four.

You have willingly stepped through the door into the universe of my mind ruled by my imagination, healthy schizophrenia, and pure brokenness.

To put it simply: You're mine now bitches!

*insert evil laughter here* 

Muwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha <cough> hahaha <hack> hahaha... <wheez> ... oh dear...

Seriously though...

For a while now - even before my NaNoWriMo Blog last year - I have been looking for a blog project to do. Something interesting. Something people would want to read and subscribe to and possibly leave replies and quite possibly (heavens forbid) start a correspondence - a conversation of sorts - between blog reader and blog writer.  Maybe even writer to writer.

But most importantly, between being and being.

Here I will chronicle the pursuit of my passion: to be a writer.

Ideally I would like to make a post, no matter how minute or grand, every day.  Unfortunately life gets in the way at times (as it did with NaNoWriMo last year) so all I can promise is that I will post as often as I can.

And with that said, welcome to my world.  Feel free to roam about and explore.  Stay as long as you want.

If you need me, I'll be at the bar.

*Cheers!*

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae