I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait."
-Mitch Hedburg (February 24, 1968 - March 29, 2005)
I'm usually quite the patient person.
I blame my retail years. For some reason or another, I remained quite zen back in those days when I had to deal with all sorts of jackasses and fucktards that crossed my path. If I had a nickel for every time I received compliments on my ability to not rip anyone's head off, I would be set for life.
With that said, I am completely and utterly tired of waiting when it comes to this job. Do not get me wrong, I am extremely grateful for this job. I like working (thought it's only for four months).
On a side-note, I don't think I was meant for office life or to be a suit. (For one thing, dress shoes HURT!)
The first week was training and since then it's been a little slow with the actual assignments.
Without getting too into details, I am one of a group of eight that were hired to assist teams that work with various clients of the company with financial documents. Thing is though, we wait for the client to send the docs to the teams we get assigned to, they work on them and then send them to us.
I didn't get my first assignment until my third week here. Okay, correction: after the first week, we received an email regarding who our first clients were and what teams we would be working with. I sent out emails, etc, and didn't hear from anyone until the following week.
The first client I was assigned to only had three funds for me to work on. I sent them back within three days. They were to look them over and see if there might be anymore edits to make. I have pinged my contacts via the inter-work chat we have as well as via email, and in the end, the client is dallying their dillies in getting their docs back to them.
So I wait.
Actually, we're all pretty much waiting.
Picture a room with eight people in it, each of them has a laptop and training but nothing to do.
There's one guy that has worked with the company before. People know him so he was working with them a little before us. I think he had like five funds or something from them. I helped him with one of them. (Yay me! Self high-five... similar to the sound of one-hand clapping... or the sadness of it.)
The rule of thumb was that if you had a frak-ton of funds to work on and there were others with nothing else to do, then you could give some of your work to them and by doing so, you would accomplish two things: 1) faster turnover rate, and 2) no idle hands.
That worked... for a while. And then there was nothing.
What do we do in the meantime? Well, we have the internet...
I will admit to what I do which is...
- play games (like Scrabble, memes, etc.)
Not feeling comfortable saving stuff to the work laptop, I bought myself a thumb drive to store all my writing stuffs on it.
At present, I am working on two novels of my own plus a third a friend asked me to collaborate with him on. (There's also a fanfiction story that has been put on hold due to me waiting for the series to end so I can get a firm grasp of what the holy hell is going on and write around it.)
Since I started here and with the free time I have had, I have been working on a little bit of everything. I've written very little of "Dreamgirl"* (my NaNoWriMo novel) and have added even less to "Chloe" (my previous novel I had been working on where my inspiration/energy with it has sort of plateaued into this sedated/subdued "dammit where has all the rum gone?" kind of mood).
At present, I'm working on a scene for "Wolf", but I just can't get the voice of the girl right. Last night when I got home, I whipped out my notepad and wrote a bit of it in there, but then my body wanted to do its impersonation of a chunky Asian in a coma, so I had to put things away, turn off the lights, crawl under the covers and succumb to my serious acting skills of an unconscious nature.
In my correspondence with my teams, I was told that pretty much I would receive the docs from them by next week. Today, one of my teams sent me all ten funds, but they sent me just the raw docs - pretty much so I would have them so when I eventually got the numbers from the team (to input into said docs), they would only have to send the data to me.
And I know y'all have no idea of what I'm talking about, but that's okay since you don't really need to. I guess this is the part of blog where I just ramble, and y'all nod and smile when in fact you wish you could just slap the shit out of me.
It's okay. You slap because you love. I understand. Just don't be surprised if I "love" you back some, a'ight!?
I need to make more time to write. I have a goal that I want to reach, and it's important to me. I've been hella tired at work, but that's just because there's nothing to do for now. (We were reassured that the beginning of the year is usually slow but things will pick up soon. As much as I love getting paid for nothing, I really would like an assignment or something.)
Due to the tiredness I've been feeling lately (thank you Insomnia - for you? A big swift kick in the gonads.), I haven't really been able to focus lately. I mean (metaphorically, of course) is it wrong to want this:
I want to be so caught up in my writing that I hear nothing else save the words as they flow from my mind through my blood, into my hands, and out my fingertips - spilling across the keys resulting in awesome wordsmithery.
Shut up. You know what I mean.
Instead, I leave work tired and hungry. I eat, go home and die... just to continue the vicious cycle over and over again. And then the weekend rolls around. That means errands... and laundry.
Yes, I feel your envy. That's okay my darlings. Let's hug it out, shall we?
Seriously though, I need to get my energy back. I need to find my writing mojo and get some shit done.
I want to feel like this:
|This is the book (and my muses) and me getting along.|
Not like this:
|This is me ready to choke a bitch (aka when the writing doesn't come).|
Okay, back to writing.
Later my lovelies.
*not real titles of actual novels - just an abbreviation of sorts to save on space