I should be in bed... but insomnia has decided to keep me company.
I'm currently going through "powerloss" and my face has resorted back to adolescence and my skin is pitching a fit. I think it's hormones mixed with stress that's making my insomnia act up while bringing depression along for the ride.
It's 1:07am.
I just booked my plane tickets and hotel reservation for next month for a friend's wedding. That was a little stressful - partially since I've never really booked a hotel or flight for myself before. In the past, my flights (there haven't been that many) have been taken care of for me... like a work trip or by a friend where I took care of something else for the trip.
As far as hotels go, a group of us headed out of town for a friend's wedding, and my friend I was sharing a room with (she made the reservation), wasn't due in until the day after I had arrived, so I had to get myself a solo room for one night.
All my other trips are usually road trips where I drive myself.
It's 1:16am.
I can't shut off my brain.
I'm currently making lists in my head - lists that I know I won't really remember - of things to bring with me on next month's trip... or stuff I need to do at work tomorrow... or things I need to get for my trip...
My work backpack is slowly dying. I think I bought it for a work trip so it's maybe five years old. The lining of one pouch has ripped, and recently one of the straps started to tear away from the pack... but then I saw it was also ripping a hole in the bag. I'm not much of a seamstress, and pack material is too thick for me to mend... plus it's old-ish. So the plan is to find a new "travel/work" bag before the wedding.
It's 1:22am.
I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I mean, I have to... bills, rent and all that, but all the "chaos" in my life right now, work will randomly season that chaos with its own special blend of fuckery which really doesn't help with my mental health.
I need a Baymax to tend to my wounds... but all he'd need to do is cuddle with me as I drift off to sleep.
It's 1:27am
I've also been craving pie lately... and not the flavors that every grocery store seems to have (although I'm remembering a slice of cherry pie I had once hat was REALLY good). One of my favorite pies is pecan pie, but that's also a flavor that usually everyone has. I'm looking for a new pie place with a new flavor pie
In my amateur baking endeavors, I've always been intimidated by pies to varying degrees. Maybe it's due to all the cooking/baking shows I've watched, and how all the pies look sooooooo good. Maybe in my head, I've built up this idea of "I'll never make anything as good as those pies."
Self-sabotage can be a cruel mistress.
I've made a Shoo-Fly Pie once... mini pumpkin pies (that looked more like tarts) for the holidays... and one raw ube purple potato pie. I really want to try and make an apple pie where you bake cheese into the crust. This also makes me think of wanting a pizza where it's cooked in a brick/clay oven, and just before it's done baking, they slide it out, crack an egg on it, and then put it back in the oven. I've seen that in food shows, and it looks SOOOO good!
Oh to be able to pick food out of the TV. Very Wonka-esque.
It's 1:35am
I really should TRY and get some sleep. I'm starting to feel that nocturnal gravity melting me into my chair so it would be best to stumble to my bed in less than stellar "Cuz this is THRILLER!" fashion and hope I pass out instantly.
It's 1:38am.
Okay. Let's do this.
Later my lovelies.
Have Goodness!
Rae
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