Dream A Little Dream Of...

To gain your own voice, you have to forget about having it heard.

-Allen Ginsberg, poet

I haven't written much lately. Not since my last post anyway... which I forced myself to stay up until I finished it (took me 'til about 4am). After that, I shut down the laptop, turned off the lights, and... sat in bed in the dark turning over story ideas in my head.

The ideas that were pondered (in no particular order):

• LEVERAGE fanficiton - a bracelet a friend gave me recently inspired an idea to be added to the story in my head that no one will ever see.
• CHUCK fanfiction - re-writing a scene to the story in my head that no one will ever see.
• NaNoWriMo - toying with ideas for the story that I want to (maybe) do this November.
• Lack of Conflict - I have a scenario in my head of how two people and end up dating, but I don't have any sort of conflict for later in the story. I also can't think of any conflict for my (lack of a better tentative title) Aidan Turner Story. (I always imagine actors or people that I know in my stories which always play out like a movie in my head, and one of the characters I created for this story has "him" in it.) 
• My Two Unfinished Novels - I really should finish those soon.
• Kidnapped Story - just little snippets here and there.
• Writing Contest - due by May 2nd

I dunno. My mind is all out of whack since... well... it's been a while now.

My life since last post has consisted of:

• cooking this week's meals (which was a mutant version of mac and cheese)
• laundry (three loads total)
• watching Orphan Black with Kathy W
• more room organizing adventures with Kim M
• reading "Divergent" by Veronica Roth (me and my friend's bookclub choice this month)
• working
• plotting out payday (bills to pay, errands to run... pamper myself with a back massage)
• thinking of less carby, more filling, inexpensive meals to prep for work lunches
• plotting when I'll be heading back to the gym (probably Sunday night)

While waiting for the final load in the dryer, I could have tried to write something, but instead the media whore in me won out, and I watched the latest "Once Upon A Time". After that, laundry was pretty much done which left no time to write. After I put my clothes away, I headed to Kathy's and fit in one more episode of Orphan Black (we've watched the first two episodes now) before heading to Kim's to work on her room some more.

Working on her room is giving me ideas for my room since she and I have similar situations where we have limited space and have had to move from a 2+ bedroom house to shoving everything into one room (and a storage unit). Right now my room is cluttered, and I feel I need a paid vacation just to spend the time on it I feel it deserves. Also the ideas I have require items that I'm not sure exactly exist for what I want to do. Ideally I'd like a different dresser, but that doesn't look like it's going to happen anytime... not until I get my own place anyway. But I'll get to my room eventually.

I kind of have this idea for her closet (which has been converted to the crafting closet per her request). She bought these little three drawer things that are cool, but the two bookshelves she has in there are different heights and widths so I'm wondering what the cost would be to get one wide shelving unit to replace the two she has in there. I'm going back on Monday, and we're going to go to the store to get little sorters to fit into the drawers so I can put all her crafty bits in one bin. She sews, makes jewelry, knits, etc... so she's got all sorts of things from glues to thread to needles to pins to patterns to various other sorts of things. We've sorted a good chunk of her bins into Renn Faire, Dickens Faire, costuming bits and fabric. There are a couple bins that have been sorted to go to storage as well as to be donated. I feel rather accomplished when I work on her room. Monday I didn't so much, but she claims we accomplished some things so I'll take her word for it.

I guess it's just my mind frakking with me.

I'm behind on some things at work. I was all caught up before we started using this new system, but since the system is still (essentially) in its beta phase with us, I have to use my email and the customer service email to see what new things have come in so I can search for them in the new system and make sure everything is assigned to people and taken care of. On top of that, I have surveys and emails that my manager has assigned me that I have - for the most part - finished, but I still have a handful (compared to what I had before) to see to. At the time I wasn't overwhelmed with my responsibilities, but it's just a matter of priority. You want me to make sure "production" is current and handled, that's what I'm going to concentrate on. Emails are now being handled in the new system, but it's just... if the other mess was filtered out of it, maybe I wouldn't have to go all over the place to make sure shit's handled. Right now I'm looking in two email accounts, two spreadsheets and the CRM system so that my personal spreadsheet that my department references is current and up to date.

And totally random rant: So we had an old production spreadsheet that had hidden cells - hidden meaning the task was completed - leaving the incomplete tasks exposed. When looking through it to find when something was done or if it was even received, people only had viewing rights. So the idea now - since I haven't been told any different - is that my spreadsheet is for my department to reference. Everyone save a couple other people have viewing rights, but I created two tabs - ALL PRODUCTION (no hidden rows showing everything that has been worked on since I was asked to monitor production) and OPEN PRODUCTION (with hidden rows showing all the incomplete tasks). A week or so ago my manager asked me to help her read my spreadsheet (which she owned on Google drive by the way... and that's a whole other story which I won't be into). She asked how she was able to tell what had been completed and what was still being worked on. I had to reign in my snark when I showed her the tabs and what they said. (I also color code thing so everyone on the team has their own color and when they complete a task I've assigned them, not only is there a "date completed" date marked, but it's highlighted with their assigned color. Items not highlighted or have a completed date listed? Not done.)

Reminds me of when I occasionally get my hair straightened. (My hair naturally curly. The red dye job I have in it has grown out considerably, but I'm still essentially Merida from "Brave".) When I straighten my hair, there are people that ask, "Did you straighten your hair?" I've grown accustomed to saying "No"... which usually warrants looks and/or the comment, "Are you messing with me?"

It's just like Forrest Gump says - Stupid is as stupid does.

*headdesk*

I'm currently working on a menu revision for a restaurant that has called to let us know several times that their menu changed, that they sent a menu with the driver, and "WHY ISN'T IT REVISED?" It took almost a month (and me telling the driver MYSELF) to get menus, but when I looked at the menus and what we had, they are totally different, so it's gonna take a while. I took it upon myself to work on it, but as it is, I haven't had a lot of time to work on it since I got the menus Saturday night (and I was off Sunday and Monday). I started on Tuesday, didn't get to any of it today since the rest of production was getting a bit behind, so yeah... I just have NO idea when I'm going to get to finish it.

And it looks like additional copies of the menu are showing up at my desk. WTFrak?!?!? NOW people remember to get me menus? DO NOT MAKE ME BACKHAND YOU!!!

I need some order. I like it when I have order. That's not to say that I'm not spontaneous. I love flying by the seat of my pants and doing whatever at the moment. Or even have a tentative plan of "let's just go here and see what there is to see".

But with work, there is always talk of "prioritizing" (though I feel there's also talk of "this is how we do this" and then forgetting what was said during that conversation and me getting questioned about it...). My work day is pretty much come in, make calls for the lunch rush (it's a little quiet at the time I come in so I have a small amount of time to check email, glance at production, pray to the Work Gods to give me guidance and a good day before it starts to get busy), then after the lunch rush is a mix of next day calls, incoming calls and fitting in a little bit of production before I go to lunch (same assigned time every day), then next days calls if they haven't been done already, an hour of production just for me on Tuesdays and Thursdays after my lunch, dinner rush/calls, then home.

Saturday work nights have been the equivalent of blowing up a pinata filled with chaos dipped in Hell, set on fire and shoved up your ass using nothing but a rusty mace coated in hate Alien Queen acid.

Right now I have some random semblance of a plan at work and having the same shift during the weekdays I'm there helps, but with changes in policy and staff, the proverbial monkey wrench makes it difficult to not necessarily assimilate and adapt but merely slows that process down a bit.

It also makes me want to beat people with a hammer. A REALLY BIG HAMMER!!!

What's that prayer?

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 

The courage to change the things I can, 

And the wisdom to know the difference. 

-Serenity Prayer

...
...
...

Yeah. A REALLY REALLY BIG HAMMER!!! *sigh*

The other night for shits and giggles, I did a studio apartment search, and of course living where I live, everything cost my soul and my first born... plus a deposit. And then there's my cat which usually tacks on another large sum of money that is just mental and totally not necessary.

I think I'd do well with my own space. I just need to find that space and be able to afford it. (Why can't I be independently wealthy? Why can't money grow on trees? Scratch that. I have a black thumb. I'd most likely kill my money tree.)

Ideally I'd like a one bedroom apartment (two so one bedroom can be my office), but I'd settle for a nice little studio. ANYTHING is better than the hovel I'm in now.

Surfing the net just now whilst daydreaming I found some lovely studios where I picked my top five... starting off with my fave of the group...

I mean... just look at the shelf space for BOOKS!!! I would have a place for a desk... and a table to eat at... a couch to sit on... oh the things I could do with this space.

Looks pretty condensed compared to the first, but the kitchen will give me enough space for baking. I can also set up a work space for myself. Also looks like there's room to add bookshelves. Joy!

This place looks pretty spacious... but I could do without the orange. Burgundy would be cool... or just white with some decorative decals of picture/art framings. Overall though not too shabby.

This is cute, too. Love the brick and the enclosed bed space. And the kitchen looks PRETTY!!!

This is a cute little setup. The kitchen area is a bit small but doable.

Right now I have to deal with my car accident settlements. (I HATE the waiting game... especially when neither of the two accidents were my fault. Plus OFF DUTY DEPUTY WHO WITNESSED THE GUY THAT RAN THE RED AND T-BONED ME WHICH TOTALED MY CAR!!! Why is THAT taking so long?) *grumble*

Who said patience is a virtue? Not feeling very virtuous... or patient. First accident was February 2013, second was June 2013. It is now APRIL 2014. I swear to gawd if this goes past a year, I'm gonna choke a bitch.

Breathe, woman, breathe. Woosah!

Okay. Baby steps, girlie. Baby steps.

Summary of goals...

• stop being fat
• find my own space
• write/read more - get published
• be financially secure
• be happy
• tie up loose ends

Sounds like a plan, right? Now to make the plan a reality.

Would also REALLY like to do NERDHQ this year and be a volunteer... though last year screwed me for the time off... *grumble grumble grumble*

(looks at clock)

I meant this post originally for Monday... then that plan got shot to shit so I entertained the notion of moving blog posts to Tuesday and Thursday versus Monday, Wednesday, Friday... but then work got in the way... so I thought I could get this done for Wednesday.

And now it's 1:36am... on Thursday.

Yeah, yeah, I know. It's not tomorrow 'til the sun comes up, but dammit dammit dammit. I'll get back into the swing of things soon... hopefully...

(looks to the universe - doesn't seem to be laughing at me... yet)

I guess I should get to bed now. I did take a nap when I got home earlier since insomnia had me up until 3am-ish last night. It's almost 2am now. I should at least try, right? And maybe a time travel short story idea will pop in my noggin via an inspirational dream that I'll remember when I wake. Yeah?

(fingers crossed)

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae