Monday, November 21, 2011

A Welcomed Distraction From My Downward Spiral

"I want to learn how to blow shit up with my mind."
-Freaky Student from the movie "Accepted" 

I just had the most lovely day.

Why?  Let me give you a hint.
Subtle, eh? Subtle... and delicious!
Yes.  Yesterday was my birthday (although according to Kathy W., it isn't the next day until the sun comes up... and it's still dark).

Regardless, I had a lovely birthday.

For one solid day (and a little bit the night before - thanks again to Kathy W. and Steve C.) I had a stress-free day.  (I think everyone's birthday should be stress-free.  No drama.  No difficulties.  No fighting.  Just all around fun, fun, fun.  Nothing better than smiles, laughs and awesomesauce good times.)

Birthday niceties started early afternoon on Saturday when I received a birthday card from my mother in the mail.  It continued later that night at The Cabin with Kathy W. (Steve C. was napping).  I had originally come over for company, cheering up as well as some distraction from the current state of my life.  
Boy do I suck? I'm so out of practice. I seem to be better at Dr. Mario though not by much at present.

We drank, played Tetris Attack, shot the shit and later when Steve C. joined us watched a couple movies ("Dead Guys Don't Wear Plaid" and "Date Night").  When I wasn't paying attention, after midnight, Kathy W. surprised me with a small bowl of yummy ice cream with a "candle" for me to blow out.
Due to lack of candle accessibility, Kathy W. was resourceful and used a toothpick.  It lacked flame staying power, but it remained lit long enough for me to make a wish and blow it out.
Kathy W. also gave me my presents which was an awesome sparkly turtle shot glass and a cute "Zipper Pal" (an adorable blue bunny with my name on it).  She joked that it's just in case in my elderly state I happen to forget my name.  The bunny (which shares my name) keeps watch over my car along with the yellow turtle she got me from her trip to Thailand.

I went home after the last movie was over.  It was still raining which for is extremely happy-making for me.  (I like rain.  I find it peaceful and pretty.)

The plan was to go to catch a double feature at The Retro Dome.  The movies for viewing?

Sunday November 20
2:30pm Time Bandits
4:45pm The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

I'd seen both films years ago (I'm a big Terry Gilliam fan) but hadn't revisited them in a while.

I had set my alarm to wake me a good time before the movie, but the water was off when I woke up (repairing a leak in the sprinkler system in the front yard).  Around this time, Jimbo texted me, and when I mentioned my lack of a shower issue, I was invited to shower at his place.  I got my stuff together, stopped at the gas station to fuel "Libby", and then headed to the "Kitty Compound".  (They have four cats.  It's what I call their place on occasion.)

Per habit, I always knock before I enter, and when I heard "Come in", I opened the door to see Jimbo and Leabo on the couch watching TV.
I saw this message also when I walked in which is directly opposite from the front door.
I bathed (they have an awesome shower) and chatted with them while I got ready.  (I also like Leabo's dryer + diffuser.  Neat!)  While away from my phone, my father called and left a "Happy Birthday" message for me.  (He recently moved to Oklahoma but his place isn't ready yet so he said once his phone and computer were set up, we'd chat.  Shortly after, the caller ID said my brother was calling me so I answered to him and my niece singing me Happy Birthday.  I quickly ran into the living room and put it on speaker because it was so damn cute, I just had to share.

I swear, no sound is better than hearing my niece say "Auntie Rachel".  Ohhh, it just kills me every time.  Add an "I love you" to that, and I just want to grab her and smother her with hugs and kisses.  (Okay, so I already want to do that regardless, but that's beside the point.) 
The cutest little Raggedy-Ann (sans wig) you ever did see!
When I was done chatting with my brother and finished getting ready, I headed out to meet Kathy W. and Steve C. who were treating me to the movies.  A phone call from my mother, soda, nachos, Red Vines, two films and many hugs and birthday wishes later - we parted company.

For me, it was back to Jimbo and Leabo for dinner and TV.  (Kathy W. and Steve C. were also invited but they were tuckered out so opted out to get warm and rest up.)  Jimbo was making dinner (yumtastic pasta).  We all chatted while dinner was prepared.  I thought dinner was the present, but they surprised with a gift.  I got two cards (one that sings, one that doesn't), a Devil May Cry t-shirt (since I am The Devil's Only Daughter) and a pretty scarf Leabo made herself.  After pasta, there was cake (as noted above in my HINT). *grin*

Ahhh yes.  It was such a lovely day.  Much needed whether it was my birthday or not.

Without getting into details that will either bore you or make you want to slit your wrists, I will simply say I haven't had the best of luck lately.  Money's tight, full-time work is scarce, energy levels (as well as positivity levels) are low, and insomnia has been rearing her ugly head again.  All of that stress and some other drama have been making my innards knot up with nausea, and I have spent infrequent moments curled up in the fetal position wishing to hide from the universe until it likes me again.
Dear Universe: Start loving me again, please? Hopefully Yours, Me.
What's worse?  My writing juju seems to have vanished due to the copious amounts of crap I've been dealing with lately.  It's taken my creativity and replaced it with cobwebs and dust mites.


The other night I was at Jimbo and Leabo's place while they were out with Kathy W., Steve C., and some other friends gaming.  (I can't recall if it's Star Wars or D&D... or if they're still playing both on alternate weeks.  Or I may be getting that mixed up with some of my other friends that also tabletop game two games alternatively week to week.  I don't know.  I don't play tabletop RPG's all that often so I could just be remembering things incorrectly or clumping them all into one big gaming memory.)

In any case, I sat alone in their condo enjoying the peace and quiet, trying to work on some writing.

As you can guess, nothing really came of it.  Hell, even this post has been like pulling teeth.  I've started and restarted and re-restarted, but it's been a few days already.

Can anyone say SHEESH?!?!

I am currently working on a few things...
  • The main thing is a short story for my Wheels-o-Wonder page.  Still working out the death scene, but it's coming together.  Not sure how long it'll be in the end.  (How many pages is a short story usually?)
  • Then there's the "Chuck" piece that I've been working on and for some reason is taking FOREVER to come together in my head.  And to add to the sadness that it's the show's last season (the two-hour season finale title and airdate have been announced already), Hulu has been having licensing issues so I've only seen the first episode.  I think I have found alternate means but we shall see how that pans out.
  • My first novel (not the one I did for NaNoWriMo last year) has been creeping back into my mind.  I suppose Chloe (main character) has some ideas she wants to run by me.
  • There's also another thing I've started.  I really shouldn't have though nothing much has come of it at the moment.  I had created two character names (one a while ago, one recently) that I wanted to use in something but they didn't seem to fit into anything I've already established.  I'd originally thought I'd make both characters girls, but I've ended up at present making one a girl and one a boy.  They'd been poking my brain wanting to come out, so I wrote a little scene (using a planner a friend gave me that has "story starter" lines posted at the first of every month).  So far it's just a quick blurb but at least it's something.

Still, I'd like to finish the first story where I've just killed the wife but it's slower than molasses after that.  (I'm not good at conspiracies, I don't think... at least not in writing.)

The peace and quiet was very much appreciated, but I have nothing to show for it.  It's like I'm under some spell that I can't break.  I can hear my muses yelling at me, poking me with their ideas, but the more I try to reach them, the more my head hurts.

Perhaps that's the reason I've been getting headaches and migraines lately...

I had made a goal a few years back to be "published" by my 35th birthday.  The closer to my goal's due date, it looked more and more like things weren't going to pan out.  That doesn't mean I'm not going to stop trying.


So yeah.  The day I just had was a well-appreciated, much-needed vacation from the never-ending downward spiral which has been my life as of late.  I really hope it ends and ends SOON!!!  Like, oh I don't know... NOW?

It'd be nice if the universe took my birthday as an example of what I'd like my life to be like.  (Pretty please?  With sugar on top?  I'll be your best friend.)
"Help you I can! Yes! Mm!"
I would like to thank all my loved ones for all their texts, tweets, Facebook messages, kind words and sweet gestures that made today simply splendid. 

I would also like to thank you for all the love and support you've given me in these recent trying times.

I love and appreciate you and are so lucky to have each and everyone in my life.

Much love, hugs and blessings to all y'all!
Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!

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