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Wednesday, August 3, 2011

In A Writing Void Looking For Bread Crumbs...

"I'm going to slice your face off and use it to wipe my unmentionables!"
~Bad Bill from the animated movie "Rango"

Hey there ladies and jellyspoons!  It has been a while, has it not?

The quote?  Yeah, I chose it because it's how I've been feeling off and on lately (more on than off, actually).  And when I say that's how I've been feeling, I don't mean from the speaker's point of view either.

I haven't been writing much lately.  Not since I got back into town at any rate.  Before my trip, I was writing pretty regularly.  I was working on my novel as well as "homework" assignments from friends.  And then when I got to writing about my progress on my blogger page, I saw all my other pages (my babies or children, if you will), and then wheels started turning. 

I was writing a lot.  And it made me happy.  Sure, I seemed to have all the time in the world since I wasn't working or whatever, but writing... fleshing out the ideas I had... made me happy.

And then the void crept into town...

Maybe it started with the Write-A-Thon.  I was working on my novel from last year's NaNoWriMo, but every day I was finding it tougher and tougher to reach my goal of 500 words a day.  I wrote a lot last November, but the bits I had left weren't really enough to reach that daily goal.  Sure I have gaps in between segments, but they're small and not 500 words worth.  Shortly before I left on my trip, I was actually doing more piecing together than anything else.  I felt that I had pretty much written most if not all the book and just needed to work on making it one solid entity.  Unfortunately, my brain failed to load "puzzle mode" so not a lot of entity making was happening.

And then while out of town, I was too busy (much like with NaNoWriMo being the month of my birthday and Thanksgiving - July has San Diego Comic-Con).

I suppose I should talk of my trip now.  At least for a bit.

So San Diego Comic-Con (SDCC) is every year in July.  Due to being jobless and broke, I couldn't afford passes, and I resolved myself into accepting that I'd be missing SDCC again.  (If I could, I'd go every year, but I digress.)  But then the decision that it was CHUCK's final season had me sad that it was the last time I would be able to catch their panel.  (I'd never gone before.)  Even more bummed, I had heard Zachary Levi (my future BFF) talking about The Nerd Machine doing a convention of their own in the Gaslamp Quarter... and lo' and behold NERDHQ was born.  My decision to go was pretty last minute, but things started falling into place (I had a ride, I had a place to stay...), and even though I was pretty broke for the trip, I decided I needed a pickmeup.  I was tired of being bummed and stressed about my current life state, so... I went.  If anything it was to meet some cool people and possibly get pics with TNM crew (not just Zac).  It was four days of awesome.  I have dubbed Zac my satellite since he was always orbiting about me but never seemed to land (and I wanted him to frakkin land).  At least I had a great time, and a high-five from and pic with him.  (Granted, I don't look my hottie mama-est, but it's something.)

Dude makes the best faces.  Go-Go-Gadget funny face.  (Wish I'd also taken a serious one.)

So being distracted with NERDHQ and lots of walking and hanging with Twitter-folk, I didn't really have enough time to do any writing (and I actually tried).

Maybe that's what happened.  I stopped writing for five days and POOF! - my mojo is now lying with the fishies.

I used to think the stress of being unemployed was giving me tons of energy and inspiration to write, but as time went on and stress continued to pile up upon my shoulders and my life, and I guess it just became too much and eventually crushed my inspiration leaving me in some void of writer hell.

I think I'm getting it back.  Unfortunately my muses have taken a vacation from my novel.  (Guess they have issues with Abby and Luke?  I don't know.)  Also my energy as well as my positivity have been low, but I'm hoping that'll change soon.  It's difficult to continue to stay positive when you feel like you're constantly getting shit on.  I have dark moments, and they come in waves.  I'm hoping that'll change soon.

Fingers-crossed.

In the meantime my mind has been toying with the latest prompt a friend gave me for my A Boy, A Girl, And A Line blogger page.  Yeah, I will apologize in advance for it without telling you anything about it.  Maybe I'll have it up in a week.

In any case, I hope to be working on my novel again soon. 

As far as my "published" goal, about three months left...

Can I do this?  (headdesk)

All right.  I think that's all for now.

Later my lovelies!

Have Goodness!
Rae

1 comment:

  1. Now I'm curious what the apology is for...

    Sometimes bribing the muses helps. Next time you come over we'll pour an extra glass of angel juice for them! :)

    ReplyDelete