Aspiring Writer In Search of Her Mojo

"What am I supposed to do with this time?
If there's so many holes, I stay afloat
But I feel out of control
So petrified, I'm petrified"

-from the Maroon 5 "Runaway"

I am currently sitting in my room watching/listening to the Geek and Sundry YouTube show TableTop as Wil Wheaton discusses and plays the game Smallworld (which I don't think any of my friends own).  I should be sleeping... or trying to... but my mind is all over the place so I'm just chillin' with my kitty cuddled up next to me as the Smallworld game plays... which totally reminds me of when me and my friends play games.

Kevan F. and Greg L.  I still made longest road.

Chris C.  I still beat you in Combat Mission that one time.

LOL!  Okay, enough with my game winning highlights (which really aren't that many) and back to writing... stuff.

Over the weekend, I had a rather busy time which led to not much writing.  Sad, I know... but I thought about it.

Thursday a friend (Oscar B.) was in town for work, and he chilled with Kathy W., Geoff T., Alison T., and Steve C. for Dusty's World and a little socializing.  I played bartender (rum and cokes for everyone!!!) and Geoff T. made burritos (of which I survived mine from Mr. Spicy Pants).  I also helped him acquire The Hunger Games trilogy (in ebook form) since apparently when I press the "purchase" button on his iPad, it listens to me.

I got the touch!  I got the power!

The Transformers: The Movie?  Anyone?

Since I don't see Oscar B. a lot, I stayed rather late which means I went home late.  I set my alarm for 8am since I was helping a friend move the next day, and the appointed time was 9am.  I think I got home between 2am and 3am and awoke a few hours later to the elderly gentleman my landlady takes care of (who lives with us) barking back at the dogs.

Yeah.  You heard me.  Barking.

There's one dog that barks at EVERYTHING, and the other two just follow suit when they're bored.  When they bark at him, he usually talks sweetly to them or say "Ruff-ruff to you, too" or something like that.

This particular morning it was like he was a werewolf in heat and was baying at the moon... but I was so frakkin tired, I laid curled up in bed, not moving, quietly plotting his demise. 

Eventually my landlady woke up and bolted out of her room trying to figure out what was going on, and from what I could tell from my sleepy state was that her husband (who sounded like he was in the living room where this seemed to be taking place) said it was the elderly dude, and I thought If you were there and heard him, you should have told him to shut his yap since it was early and people were SLEEPING!!!  But since I wasn't there, I have no idea what really went on.  Nevertheless, I got up, showered, pounded down the energy drink in my car, and headed out for moving day (to which I brought donuts).

Friday was also the day cat duty started.  My friends Jim G. and Leah G. left out of state for the weekend for Jim's mom's funeral (RIP Joyce), and they asked me to take care of their cats while they were away.  (Taking care = feed all four and give insulin shot to one.)  I have a key to their place, and when they're not going to be home due to being out of town or whatever, I am welcome to escape the crazy which is where I live and chillax at their place and write, watch TV, or just simply enjoy the silence.

I kind of like taking care of their cats when they're gone.  I love the peace and quiet... accompanied by the occasional kitty mewing.  Getting out of my house every once in a while is always a blessing.  Going to their place, even if I don't write (although the atmosphere is good for it), is calming.

Sometimes you just need to be alone.

So I bailed on the latter half of moving (which was just cleaning, I think) and headed for cat duty.  By the time we finished a late lunch at Denny's, it was end of day commuter traffic, and I would have had to head back as soon as I got there anyway. 

I got to Jim and Leah's roughly an hour early.  I set up the minibook on the coffeetable, turned on the coffeemaker, and got ready to watch some DVR'd Justified.  (Love that show!)

After one episode (there were two I never got to), I sat alone at the coffeetable before the TV drinking coffee and listening to music (and singing a little bit) and tried to write... and came up with nothing.

It seems my writing juju is in a state of flux.

Let's do the update before I continue my tale of woe (aka no writing).

My "March" monthly writing is done (for the most part).  Here's an update...

• Penelope is now at part nine with We've Picked Up A Stray
• Kearie is also now at part nine with Unconscious Recollection
• Kai's story in Lost and Found is now at part eleven

Also...

• The Strange Adventures of Princess Blue are now at twenty-two since I felt inspired to write a little something extra after Kathy W. said she was caught up and wanted more. 
• In Everything At Least Once, I wrote about Lychee Pocky and Chewy Extinguisher Sour Citrus Candy.

In all honesty I haven't touched my "Pol" story in a while.  (I know.  Bad writer... no biscuit.)  I've been trying to work on my story for my friend Chris M.  The premise is simple enough, but my brain keeps reworking it so when I go back to what I've written (which usually isn't much), I look at it and think, "No no no" and do something else.  Granted, I've kept whatever I have written, but still it's frustrating.

"Pol" hasn't made a peep which bothers me.  Maybe he's just chillin', waiting his turn like a good little boy.  I have to say that I actually appreciate that since usually when I'm trying to work on stuff, other ideas cruise into my mind distracting me from the story I'm trying to tell at that particular moment.

Sometimes the kids cry for attention all at once.  So many kids, but only one me... and (weight jokes aside) there isn't enough of me to go around.

I went home Friday night after watching the one episode of Justified and the latest episode of Grimm (I swear to gawd, he better tell her in the next episode or else... ugh!)  I left my stuff there since I had hoped to do some writing when I got there.  I set my alarm to get up in time to feed kitties (meds need to be administered every 12 hours and that specific kitty needs to eat first).  So again after a little more sleep - albeit restless - I get up, freshen up and head on over.  I feed the kitties, shoot the one while she's noshing at her bowl, and then hunker down with a cup of coffee and a snack while I watch some TV.  I turn on the minibook in hopes that the Muses will be kind and help with something.  I had meadery plans with John S. which were followed by sushi plans after which turned into an impromptu visit with Jessie F. and Dawn S.  The original plan of writing the night away quickly change.  I went back to the condo to take care of the cats and then headed out to meet the girls.  John S. beat me there. 

We hung out for a little bit and then left when people couldn't keep their eyes open.  John S. got called into work for a few hours to cover someone's shift and headed home for a quick nap.  I headed back to the condo and figured I'd just stay the night so I'd be there to take care of the cats in the morning (since Jim and Leah were going to be home around 11am to noon.

I made a cup of coffee, snacked on some chips, did my taxes, toasted a couple of bagels (one with cream cheese, the other with peanut butter).  I did a little writing on my Chris M. story so that something.  A scene from one of my novels wanted out of my head so I jotted down a little bit of that.

I started to get a little fidgety so I paced about the condo.  I packed my writing bag, organized my tax paperwork, printed out the two pages of story bits that I had, shut off the computer, the lights in the office, rinsed all the dishes and put them in the dishwasher, checked the message that I left for them on their dry erase board (which in a spontaneous spur of the moment kind of thing I made look like a Draw Something game), took care of the cats, and headed home where I closed my bedroom door to the rest of the world, stripped, crawled under the covers, and died for as long as sleep would take me.

And everyday, I felt gradually worse and worse since powerloss started Thursday night.  I just wanted to curl up and die, but no... I had stuff to do.

I hate it.  Every month without fail not only is there one day that feels like someone is beating me about the midsection with a bat the size of Texas, but I also now feel completely depleted of any energy or will to live.  I lay in bed like a pill bug scared and curled into a tiny ball praying to any deity that'll listen and make the pain stop.

And don't get me started on the nausea and sore tits.  Ugh! 

So  yeah... I didn't do much writing this weekend.  Hell, I'd made a go at this post once or twice and guess what?  Fail time!

But here's this post.  Done WAY later than when I started it, but hey... at least it was started and done on the same day so that's something at least.  I did some writing today while at the bookstore killing time before dinner/TV show plans with Jim and Leah (Game of Thrones and Castle). 

And by "some", I mean "very little".

And the "very little" I wrote makes me unhappy.

Then again, I'm my own worst critic.

But I'm hopeful I'll get SOMETHING done this week.

(Muses?  You around?  You like chocolate?  How about beer?)

Later my lovelies!

Have Goodness!
Rae

Never Enough Time... EVER!

'Cause who wants to be right as rain
It's better when something is wrong
I get excitement in my bones
Even though everything's a strain

-from the song "Right As Rain" by Adele

Let's see.  Today is the 18th.  My last post was on the 3rd.  (I'm tired so give me a minute to do the math.)  So yeah, that's 15 days - roughly two weeks - since I've posted here. 

Ta-frakkin-da!  Here I am.

Yeah, I know you missed me.  You don't have to say it.  I know.

Did I mention I'm tired?

My insomnia has been bullying me lately, and I really don't like it.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I have been standing up for myself as best I can, but dammit, she keeps on winning.  (Bitch!)

The daylight savings shift really didn't help matters.  I used to consider it a good night when I'd pass out around 1am or 2am.  Now I'm happy if I can fall asleep before the sun comes up.  Most nights as of late I manage to be tired enough to fall asleep just when the sun is rising.  I hear ducks and geese flying about, and my housemates start to get up around then.  The dogs start barking, the landlady goes to check on the older gentleman who lives with us that she takes care of, and he has no idea how to speak or walk softly, I hear conversations, animal chatter, the garbage truck if its trash day...

Eventually I knock out due to (my best guess) exhaustion - like my body just says "insomnia be damned, I can't do this any more" and shuts down as if I were Data and someone hit that switch on my back...

Star Trek: The Next Generation?  Anyone?  Oh well.

And then there are those people that think they know what's best for me, vomiting up their suggestions as if I haven't tried everything already.  In truth, I'm sure I haven't tried everything, but I'm sure you know what I mean.

I've done teas, tinctures, hot baths/showers, sleep aids, going for long walks, alcohol... I've even stayed up all day if I haven't gone to bed yet in attempts to get back to a decent sleep schedule.

Result?: Complete and utter FAIL! 

I hate it.

The plus side to being awake when I really should be (want to be) sleeping is that I get caught up on my Hulu viewing as well as some of my writing.

Let's do an update on that right now, shall we?  Before I head off again into non-writing rambles.

• Nedea is now at part eleven 
• Stoically Challenged has another homework assignment completed in the story Looking for the Lost (which is a continuation of a random story I wrote a while back and never gave a title)
• Della is now at part five
• The Strange Adventures of Princess Blue is now at part twenty-one 
• The Curly Muse has a new story called Whatever Happens in the Tower... 
• a boy, a girl, and a line... has a new story courtesy of my friend Scheherazade K's prompt called Don't Kill the Messenger (a continuation of Visitations of an Unknown Past part one and part two)
• Real-Life I (just) Made Up gets another installment with Hidden In Plain Sight
• Everything At Least Once gets a review about how I tried nem heo for the first time.
• Tales of the Unemployed and Unloved is now at part seven
• Enyo is now at part twelve
• Sanya is now at part twelve as well

I still need to work on Kai, Kearie and Penelope's stories as well as the short story of Pol.

(and now we take a break so I can take a FaceTime call with my brother and my niece)

they had to call back since we were having sound issues

and occasionally my brother forgets we don't eat our young

even Fancy Nancy came to the party

At one point my niece took the Star Trek phaser and kept shooting Fancy Nancy with it.  After each time, she'd say, "Oh no.  Now you got to go to the hospital!"

Love that little girl.

And I never look good in that little box.  Ugh.

(due to the late hour and occasional sound difficulties, we ended the call... which now leaves this post to be dated for the 19th which makes the time lapse from the last post 16 days... but anyway - back to my post)

Don't Kill the Messenger took a while due to Daylight Savings crap.  I would have every intention of working on the story but would be too tired from running errands or the minibook having issues, etc.  A happy thing was that I'd have ideas for the story, but then I'd be too tired to function.

If I could just have a computer note-taking system that could read my brainwaves like Gert's pet raptor Old Lace.

Runaways?  Anyone?  Sheesh.

In addition to writing all that (which is just a self-made goal and no deadline given to me by some magazine or publishing house), I have another story which I've given myself until the end of the month to do for my friend Chris M.  I've put that as a higher priority than the Pol story so hopefully I'll get the three remaining story blog updates done leaving me the rest of the month to work on his story.

And then there are my novels.

Oh my kiddies.  (I'm such a bad mother.)

I thought it was funny that my friend Kevin Z. this past Saturday at a St. Patty's Day party commented on how I write too much, and I had to laugh.  He's more of a blogger than a writer I suppose, and occasionally checks out my blog and I guess he recently saw all my updates on my story blogs.  Now bless him for thinking I write too much but really comparatively to a novel, it's really not all that much.  But still... for someone to say I write a lot kinda makes me happy.

Other stuff has been going on in my life that has added random stresses to me and my heart, but I'll be fine, I'm sure.  I'm a fighter, and I'm hopeful things will work out... and hopefully they will work out soon.

But until then, I think I'm going to get back to writing... or maybe make an attempt at some sleep?

In either case...

good night kisses

Later my lovelies!

Have Goodness!
Rae

It's Been A While...

"And everything I can't remember

As fucked up as it all may seem

The consequences that I've rendered

I've stretched myself beyond my means"

-from the song "It's Been A While" by Staind

February 13th.  Really?  Man, do I suck!

Okay, so here's an update that I've been thinking about for a while though I haven't gotten to since... well... now.

February was an odd month for me, and even though it's usually short a few days than a regular month, my mind immediately thought "oh crap... I have less time than I did in January".

The goal for updating all my story blogs (and non-story ones) on a more regular basis started off beautifully... though honestly the short story killed me a little bit.  I had to go through each story blog and reacquaint myself with what the kids had been up to.  I made notes and now hopefully moving forward it will take less time.

But damn those Wheels-O-Wonder short stories.  They get me every time.

So... I have amended my "update" goal since my brain is about to explode.

Originally I didn't think I'd be able to update everything every single month, but when I pulled it off for January, I had hopes.  Then February hit (not going to get into it, but some of it had to do with health issues, a failed attempt at trying to donate platelets, and an out of town family visit).  Already somewhat of a short month (not really), I tried working on the short story first since it usually took the longest, but then I found myself stuck - constantly starting and stopping.  I tried to tell myself just to keep writing, but things weren't working out.  Nevertheless, I have an idea for the story - it's just taking longer than usual.

In the meantime I worked on other stuff and pretty much updated most of everything by the end of the month (some posted in the first three days of March), but the short story was still an issue.

I even added three new story blogs (yeah, what was I thinking, right?), and updated those.

Hey look at me.  I'm babbling.  (What a shocker.)

Anyway, the new goal is this: I will try and update the story blogs as best I can on a monthly basis.  The short story blog I will do my best to update on a bi-monthly basis.

Ta-da!  Brilliant!... until it is not.

I need to work through my road block when it comes to the short stories.  Ugh.  I took up the challenge since the randomness of the prompt generator was a challenge in itself spewing out weird shit with every spin.  (One of these days I'll post a picture of the damn thing so y'all can see what I'm talking about.)  When I wrote Antonina, I thought I started off strong, but it didn't end well.  I think I did the violence okay, but overall, I didn't think it gelled with the first half and strayed from the premise/prompt altogether.  But it was my first shot, so I thought it was okay for a first shot.  Right?

And then I wrote Jacob which I thought was better.  It stayed with the premise/prompt for the most part (at least that's how I feel), but it took even longer than the Antonina story. 

The next one I'm currently working on is quite interesting although is proving just as difficult.  If I could just get "Pol" to gel at the beginning a little more (it's currently in blurbs), then maybe I can get it to flow a little better.

Or maybe I'm just not good with short stories?

All righty, I haven't decided if I want to continue updating my social network (Facebook, LJ, Google+ and Twitter) with every story I write or just post them on this blog and hope that everyone reads it and goes to the links.

Nevertheless, the update (in no particular order)...

• Nedea is now up to part ten
• Stoically Challenged was updated twice with drabbles and Charlie & Daphne
• Della is now at part four
• The Strange Adventures of Princess Blue is up to part twenty (which makes me smile as well as amazes me a little since it just started off as a little story to cheer up a friend)
• The Curly Muse got a poem
• a boy, a girl, and a line... got the Charlie & Daphne story (Killed two story birds with one... story.  I took Chris M's boy/girl/line and incorporated it into one of Alithea S's homework assignments.  Ta-da!)
• Real Life I (just) Made Up got an Impromptu Sleepover - which makes it up to part ten, I think.  (I'm seriously thinking of changing the title, etc, of this story blog since it's changed considerably from its original intent.)
• Tales of the Unemployed and Unloved is now up to part six
• Enyo is now up to part eleven
• Sanya is up to part eleven 
• Everything At Least Once talks about bacon soda 

And then the three new ones that I added to start work on last month...

• Lost and Found (aka Kai's story) is now at part ten
• Penelope is up to part eight with Deja Vu, Reja Vu
• Kearie is up to part eight with Truth Be Told

So yeah, that may look like a lot of writing... but... yeah, okay, it is. 

Now a friend of mine (Chris M.) asked me to write him a three page story that he could make a short film out of.  (Yeah, no pressure.)  So I have an idea for it, but I need to sit down and really flesh it out.  From our conversation about it, it's pretty simple for the most part.  Hopefully I can get it to him some time this month.  That'd be swell.

In novel news, yeah... I've been thinking about Chloe and Abby a lot lately and have sort of rewritten a scene for Abby (in my mind) as well as plotted out a few scenes for Chloe (in my mind), but with all the work on the other stuff, I haven't written much for my girls.

What kind of mother am I?  (Don't answer that.  I'm fabulous.  End of story.)

I also haven't read much lately which saddens me since I love books, but I've been writing so much, I don't have time to invest in a book or two or several... like I want.

Why does the time-turner from Harry Potter that Hermione used not exist?  Or perhaps I need a Tardis.  Or just more time in the day.  Or more than one of me.

No.  Not more than one of me.  I don't think the world can handle it.  I can barely handle myself... and I am me.

Wow.  Getting weird again.

So many things to write.  So little time... or at least it feels like that.

And there's that story I was working on with Jim G. that sort of took a backseat to life and other things.

(stream of obscenities that would make sailors blush)

So yeah.  That happened.

All right.  So that's all my writing news as of late.  Right now I'm getting ready to hit the library and a couple other places for some quick errands before I meet up with some friends for some hot toddies and a movie.

That's a lot of "some" going on in that last bit.

I need food... or a smoothie... or a giant bowl of mochi... or a steak...

(Can you tell I'm PMS'ing?)

Later my lovelies!

Have Goodness!
Rae

Feeling Defeated and Done In

"Keith... you're losing it. And when it's lost, all you are is a loser."

-Watts from the movie "Some Kind Of Wonderful"

So with the highs of keeping up with my goals last month, I feel like I'm falling behind this month.

Oh yeah.  Big time.

I have ideas for a few stories.  Right now I'm trying to work on a beginning for another one of my Wheels-O-Wonder stories, but it's just not gelling.  I think I can make it work.  I just need to get back in the zone as well as get out of the house and some place quiet to do some work.

On top of that, I decided to add three of the six stories I had started in Stoically Challenged for fear of them not getting lost in some void.  I mentioned them in my last post , and I think created story blogs for them shortly after (if not the day after) of that post.

So we have Kearie, Kai and Penelope.  (Hello kiddies.  Mommy has missed you.)

The original plan was to do the stories in order like I did last month - oldest to most recent, but I think I'm going to save the three new girls for last this time around.  I need to refresh my memory of where I last left off with them.  Then maybe over time, if I write more for the other girls (Ashlock, Abernathy and Piper), they, too, will get their own story blogs.  We'll see.

As it is, I haven't even thought of a name for the dude I'm writing about now which is odd, but hopefully I'll come up with something tomorrow.  The plan is to hit a cafe or coffee place and just get out for a while.  I've been feeling a little out of it at home and aside from my "powerloss" beating several kinds of poo out of me as it always seems to do when it comes around every month, I haven't been very productive with anything for most of the day.  Thank goodness it's almost over so hopefully that'll work out in my favor and who knows??? - maybe I can crack out fourteen stories and one review by the 29th.

That's right, my lovelies, this year is a LEAP YEAR!

Then again, I've already written one story... well... ten little stories for one of Alithea S's assignments.  I wrote ten drabbles in the Montana-movie-fandom which were loosely based off of the movie-verse and my birthday gift to Alithea S. fanfic-verse (minus the Percy Jackson-Artemis part).

So that's one story down, thirteen and a review to go.

Oh yeah!  I can just taste the failure.  It's just sad with a hint of despair.

A "plus" to my glorious blogging/writing ways, a friend of mine and fellow writer - Kevin Z. - featured me recently in one of his blog posts.  The post itself tickles me beyond belief.  Looking over the post as well as listening to my recording of the post (I come out loudest because 1. my phone was closest to me, and 2. I'm Filipino.) is just delightful!  LOL!

I feel I need to explain the post (and maybe a little bit of the recording, too).

A while ago, Kevin Z. and I chatted about writing, and how his writing sort of fell to the wayside and now he simply blogs.  He had said he never had the time or energy due to working long days, etc, and I said something positive and encouraging like, "If you really want to write, you make the time."  Then I decided to challenge him by giving him a prompt from the Wheels-O-Wonder.

His prompt?

A: an alcoholic
B: that hates kids
C: hunts for lost treasureD: to find a mythical animal

My Facebook messages tell me I gave him this prompt October 9, 2011.

His reply?

That sounds like it will really put me out of my element. Challenge accepted.

After poking him periodically with "How's the writing going?" check-ups, I decided to give him until the end of the year to finish the story.  That would be a few months.  PLENTY of time, right?

About a week ago at a game night at his and his girlfriend Diana M's place, I jokingly checked on him and the story again.  (Diana M. wanted me to give him way more shit than I had been, but she seemed to do that better than I ever could, so I merely just once in a while would ask once and leave it at that.)  He'd occasionally tell me what he'd plotted out in his head but so far nothing had been written/typed out.

At one point during the night, he was sitting at his computer, and I was sitting on the floor with some other friends chatting.  He nudges me to look at his computer, and what do I see?  A word document open with the following...

And the smartass award goes to...

I took a pic of the screen with my phone cuz I thought it was funny and posted it to my Facebook with the message:

Dear Kevin:

I love you. LOL!!!

Have Goodness!
(your Asian Sista from another Mista...)
Rae

He saw that later on which I guess prompted him to blog about it.  Some time later he nudges me again to look at his computer, and that's when I saw him playing around with the pic for the post.

And then The Beast (Rachel's Hair) attacked
Kevin and he was never heard from again. -JF

Originally the pic (taken by Jessie F.) was just of him and me at an outing with friends to the meadery back in April 2011 (which reminds me I haven't been in a while and really should fix that).  I believe I had my hair pulled back earlier in the day but had let it loose later.  There was a comment about The Beast (a loving nickname for my hair) being loose, and Kevin Z. made like he was scared of it (like B-movie horror scared). 

So... I attacked him with it.

The thing I like about this pic is that you can see my ass which, in recent years, I have come to embrace and not think to be this hideous mass behind me.

The thing I do NOT like about this pic is, even though I love that shirt (hella comfy yo'!), in the pic it balloons forth as The Beast goes after its latest victim, leaving me to look large... like an expanding marshmallow in a microwave.

After seeing the pic - resized to fit his blog - I had suggested in jest that since you can't see my face that he should do a little bubble to the side showing what I actually look like.

Hence the second photo.

True friends hold your head up when you
no longer can. -JF

The other pic cropped and used in his blog shot (also taken by Jessie F.) was taken at a recent Girl's Night (January 2012) whilst playing a game of Trivial Pursuit.  (We were drinking so we used to the kids cards.)  In the original pic was me and my friend Dawn S. 

From my vantage point, her head was tilted at an awkward angle and looked like it hurt and could potentially cause damage... so I thought I'd help her out.

Now if you listen to the audioboo clip (yeah, ya heard me right... audioboo!), you'll hear me gripe about how he covered up my booty with... well... my face, but left the big parachutey shirt billowing before me as if to hide my cow stomachs.

Moo, mother fuckers!  Moo!

But the two Photoshop gurus ignored me and continued on talking shop about the photo.

Cutest anime eyes EVAAAAR! -JF

(Note: Disregard the comment in the recording about "Carlanka" unless Kevin Z. wants to explain it.  Besides it's about a friend of his that I don't know, so he knows the story better than I do.)

Since they were playing around with the picture, I had suggested (again as a joke) if they could give me "anime" eyes.  In a picture from Dawn's birthday back in 2010, there's a pic of me and Wes M. that Jessie F. took, and I have no idea what happened - if it was the flash or the angle or what - but I ended up having adorable anime eyes... and being Asian, I found that quite amusing.

Since I more often than not DO NOT like the way I look in pics, I kept making jokes about myself, and Jessie F. offered to fix the picture

Last year in May was Makers Faire, and she and Wes M. showed up a little later and met up with me and the rest of the people I arrived with.  Later when I saw the pics Jessie F. posted of the event, I actually liked how I looked in some of them... and of course had to joke about it even then.

Whud up. -JF

One pic she took of me (as shown here to the right) was a pic that didn't make my stomach turn.  My comment on her Facebook?  

Like this pic. I don't look fat in it. Wait... did you Photoshop this?I think I had made that comment a couple times before on other pictures, and of course like with all my friends... you make a joke like that, there's a good chance someone is going to take it and run with it.

So guess what happened?

You caught me, Rach. I've been photoshopping pictures of you
to make you cuter for daaaaaaaaaays. Here is a completely
un-photoshopped picture of you. *eyeroll* ♥ -JF

Jessie F. Photoshop'd me up REAL good.

When I saw the new pic, I think I laughed so hard, I almost pissed myself.

Me: Lol! It's like a Willy Wonka acid trip!
Jessie F: Enjoy your Justin Bieber hairs!

Man, I love my friends.

So yeah, Jessie F. offered to doctor up the pic to make me look amazing, but then Kevin Z. said he wouldn't use it sooooo...

In the end, I shut up and told him it was his blog, and he could do whatever he wanted.  And like I said, I was going to mention his post/blog in my next post proud that I got an "honorable mention".

Hey, it's the little things, ya know?

In the end, as far as pics go, like with my writing, I don't think all of them are that bad and will share them with the world.  Only the truly hideous ones (again, decided by ME) will never see the light of day... and I think those are few and far between.

And would you look at that.  I have managed to bring it back around to writing.  I had veered off track somewhat and am now back to me and my stories.  (Ugh!) 

Oh!!!  I almost forgot!  I recently hung out with a couple friends of mine (Chris M. and Renee M.) who I hadn't seen in FOREVER, and Chris M. asked me to write him a three page story that he could make into a short film.  So that story is running through my head as well as the Wheels-O-Wonder one.  I have an idea for it, but I have no idea how to go about it.  Okay, that's a lie.  I do... but I have to think it through some more.  I think I can make it work.  The idea I have is based, as is all of my writing, my life and experiences.  I just hope I can make it good enough for him.

All right.  I think I should try and get some sleep.  As it is, I'm amazed I've blogged so much.  Well, you could have spent all that writing time actually working on a story.  Yeah yeah yeah... leave me alone annoying inner-voice. 

I'm planning to leave this Thursday for a family visit (fiending for some niece time) as well as maybe... if I can... donate platelets this Tuesday.  I kind of want to do it this week... but we'll see how it goes.

And who knows?  I might actually get some writing done at my mother's house.  It's been known to happen.  Not a great amount, but some?

And donating platelets... perhaps after a giant steak, I'll feel awesome!  We shall see.

Ack!  It's 5:30am.  Frak!  Maybe I'll just stay up until tonight to try and get my sleep schedule back to normal.  Then again, I tried that the other night and look how well it's been working out for me.  (sigh)

Later my lovelies!

Have Goodness!
Rae

Dear Insomnia: I Hate You! No Love, Me.

"Normal is not something to aspire to.  It's something to get away from."

-Jodie Foster

I've been suffering with a sinus headache for the past couple of days.  Thankfully the discomfort hasn't been consistent, but it's hindered any writing progress I may have made in that time.  I was playing clean-up with some blog tags, etc.  I tried working through the pain, and I succeeded for a while, but then eventually I couldn't keep my head up (even with meds), so I put the minibook away and laid down.

Part of my clean up was re-posting some old stories from one site to my new one.

So long before I started heavily posting my stories and poems here, I posted them elsewhere.  Not to the extent I have on these pages, but I shared them just the same.  I started posting to the other site back in 2005 and created this story blog and started posting on it around 2007.  At the time I posted more on the other page than this one so I made the effort to post on both whenever I wrote something.  Over time, things flipped where I was posting more here and neglecting the other site.

Recently I decided to update the older site with things that I've created on my pages here, but then I started looking through my old work and realized there were some poems and stories that I didn't post here.  Waxing nostalgic on the old site, I went ahead and added them to The Curly Muse page. 

I also wrote a couple new things for Everything At Least Once.  Even though I said I'd hold off until the new month kicked in, I couldn't help it.

And now on to my dilemma. 

See, I remember having this conversation with someone have it be my brother or a friend who read my writing, etc.  It was in regards to how many blogger pages I actually had.  Also there was the comment "You don't have to make a blogger page for everything you write," and I don't, but I always said that if I ended up writing more and more of a story, that I would create a new page just for that story.

I recently went through all my story blogs and made notes in one of my blank journals to try and keep up with what I was doing.  It was when I went through the story blog Stoically Challenged that I noticed I had a few story lines that had a number of posts for them.  They had started off being stories for assignments given by Alithea S., but then there were some story bits I wrote without a homework assignment but posted in the story blog since they started with a homework assignment from that story blog.

Now I'm thinking of giving them their own pages.  What do you think?

From the various stories posted on Stoically Challenged, here are my "repeat offenders" (aka stories/characters I kept going back to):

• "Kearie": currently at seven story postings (two of which were homework assignments)
• "Penelope": currently at seven story postings (three of which were homework assignments)
• "Kai": currently at nine story postings (one of which was a homework assignment)
• "Abernathy": currently at two story postings (both of which were homework assignments)
• "Ashlock": currently at two story postings (both of which were homework assignments)
• "Piper": currently at two story postings (both of which were homework assignments)

Now the only ones I'm really looking at (for now anyway) are "Kearie", "Penelope" and "Kai" since they have the most written for each other whereas the other three storylines only have a couple installments.

If I made three more story blog pages, then that would just be more story blogs for me to update on (at least) a monthly basis.  I did it in January.  I'm hopeful that I can do it for February.  I'm just afraid that since they're hidden within the other stories on that story blog, they'll just go ignored and eventually forgotten.

That's just sad, right?

I think what I'll do for now is take notes on the three storylines I mentioned and work on them in addition to the story blogs I already have on my docket.  It wasn't until today that I realized it was already a new month and that I needed to start updating/writing again.

I tried my hand at writing in a coffee shop (like ya do!), and I found it difficult to write in a place that was solely a coffee shop due to the noise.

If I'm in the zone, no noise can stop me, but it's getting there that's the challenge.

I was at a Barnes and Noble cafe with a friend seated at the brink of the cafe near the fiction/genre fiction section where there's a considerable amount of traffic.  Hell, there were even a group of older gentlemen playing backgammon a couple tables away, and I STILL wrote better there than I did at the coffee place I was at recently.  I sat a table by myself, and the chatter around me was mind boggling.  I could even hear it over my earbuds when I tried to lose myself into my music.

Maybe it was just that day or something.  I don't know.  I just find it odd that one place was noisier than the other... and I used to work at a bookstore and know how frakkin noisy and distracting it can get.

Maybe I'll just back to that Barnes and Noble.  One of these days...

Okay, I think I'll call it a night now... even though it's after 5am.  LOL!

Later my lovelies!

Have Goodness!
Rae

Lick Me! I Taste Of Awesomesauce!!!

Oh my God! Oh my God! What the fuck just happened? 

-Wesley [after being scooped into Fox's car] from the movie "Wanted"

I'll tell you what just happened.  I actually reached a goal.  THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED!!!

Booya!  Raise the roof!  Check out my happy dance!  Awww yeah!!!

Granted this is just the first month, but holy oh my good gravy with a side order of amazing awesomeness!  I did it!  I didn't think I'd be able to, but I did.

My goal was to update all my story blogs as of 2011 and then start keeping them relatively current after that.  I was having problems with the last story blog for 2011 and finished the story for it earlier this month, but after that, I had no idea how to go about updating stuff or what order to do it in.

Then the process just sort of came to me... and I started writing.

Each story blog was its own monster, and since it'd been a while, I had to go back and take notes on what happened and who people were and what everything looked like.  Each story blog was like that.  I had previously blogged that I didn't think I'd be able to update all the story blogs each month, and I totally expected to maybe do half or less.  (Aside from this main blog, there are twelve blogs to update - eleven story, one not-so-story.)

And then I posted the last one a little while ago, and I realized...

HOLY SHIT!  I DID IT!

I'm trying not to get too excited, but woo hoo!  I feel mighty proud of myself.

So starting where I left off from the last post in regards to what I've written...

Two days ago, I posted the next segment to Real Life I (just) Made Up titled An Unexpected Visitor (which was last updated October 6th last year).

The day after that, I wrote Part Nine for Nedea (which was last updated October 8th of last year) as well as a blog description (which I don't think is very good) and toyed around with the blog layout.  Still think it needs something.

I also wrote Part Ten of Enyo (which was last updated October 9th of last year).

And then just a little while ago, I posted another review on Everything At Least Once for Rockstar Coconut Water (which was last updated December 7th of last year).

After I realized I had updated them all, I immediately thought I need to do it all over again, but a part of me decided not to.  That instead I would just keep it as a monthly thing (this blog being the only one that I could update as often as I wanted), and in the meantime work on other things.

Like my novels.

So far "Chloe" has been on my mind though I keep wondering what "Abby" and "Luke" are up to.  Most of my stories usually have a female as the main character... like with "Chloe" and the rest of the characters in the story, although important, are more supporting than in the "Abby/Luke" story.  The two of them share the spotlight in a sense, but in reality, "Luke" is essentially the main character. 

I find it interesting.

Hopefully I'll be able to get some novel writing done before I go back to updating the story blogs.  I've been writing a lot lately, and I'm hoping that the creative flow continues at this pace.  It's nice going to bed and your last thoughts before falling into the black are of your stories and where you can take them.

Still, with the story blogs, I have already gone and made an updated list of all the blogs and the dates they were last updated and then, like before, put them in number order.  I will be updating them the same way, oldest to most recent, but I won't start until (at least) February 1st.

Oh yeah.  This year is Leap Year.  Neat!

Per my revised list, the first story blog I will be starting with is Results of the Writers' Wheels-O-Wonder which ALWAYS proves to be the most difficult since it's from my brother's manual spinner prompt generator.  After my last update, I consulted the spinners and got my new prompt so I can already have it in the back of my head for next month.  As it is, I kind of have an idea of what to do, but I'm trying to keep it simmering on the back burner of my noggin until I'm ready for it.

I'm honestly expecting some lag in my writing stamina in the coming months, and who knows?  It might start next month.  And it is a shorter month even with the extra day this time around.  I'll keep whatever I can crossed in order to keep this up.  I'm taking it as a sign that things will turn around for me, and this year will be better than times before.

Anyway... here's hopin'!

Later my lovelies!

Have Goodness!
Rae

Insomnia's A Bitch, But At Least It's Raining

I'm not the greatest; I'm the double greatest.  Not only do I knock 'em out, I pick the round. 

-Muhammad Ali

Sitting in my room (chillin' like a villain) and drinking a couple beers while I listen to the rain.

Ahhh yes, the rain.  It makes me happy. 

You know what also makes me happy?  Writing!  (And I've been doing a lot of that lately.)

So when I finished my Jacob story about a week ago, I immediately thought It's time to start on my other writing.  Trouble was... I couldn't decide on where to start (and I REALLY wanted to).

My solution?  I made a list of all my story blogs and the date of the last post.  Since then, I've been working my way from oldest to most recent.

First up was Stoically Challenged, the last post being June 28th of last year.  Alithea S. had started posting homework assignments again and told Kathy W. to tell me that I was slacking.  (I was, but it's good to get a little friendly poke every now and then.

Yeah, I know how that sounds.  Anyway, moving on...

I'm behind on a lot of her other homework assignments, but I got into the habit of not doing hers in order so even though I got the new assignment, I ended up doing an older one and four days after "Jacob", I wrote "Rest Stop" which is a continuation of "Out For A Drive" which I thought just going to be some random one-shot kind of thing, but nope.  I wrote more... and even gave the chic a name.  (Go ahead and applaud if for nothing else than to make my ego feel loved.)

Also on the same day, I posted another segment for Sanya (last updated on June 29, 2011) called "A Story To Tell".  I had to go back, as with other story blogs, and take some quick notes to remind myself what people looked like and their names and all that.

I'm pretty fly for a slant-eye!  (LOL!  It just popped into my head and made me laugh so I wrote it.  And if you don't like it?  Tough!  I'm Asian.  Get over it!)

The next story blog I tackled was a boy, a girl, and a line... (which was last updated on July 13, 2011).  This story blog is similar to Stoically Challenged except for some reason, I feel the need to do the assignments in order (all of which I got back in the Spring of 2010).

See?  Slacker!  *grin*

The next prompt up on the writing block came from my friend Chris C. who gave me the very first prompt that started this story blog in the first place - "The Assignment".  The rule was if you already gave me a prompt, and I wrote a story for it, you could give me another one (if you wanted to). 

And so he did.

The prompt alone sounded rather science fiction B-movie, and I had originally meant to make it as campy and cheesy as possible... but then things took a turn (not sure for the better or worse), and a day later, I ended up with "Not In the Moo'd". 

If your brain melts out of your ear and your eyeball slide out... blame him.

On the same day, I posted "Romantically Hopeless" on The Curly Muse (which I hadn't posted to since September 22, 2011).  I had actually written a good chunk of the poem the night before in a stream of consciousness kind of thing.  I figured since I hadn't written a poem in a while, why not post that?  It felt like something was missing, but I tweaked it in the end.  I'm not all that sure it's any good, but I like it.

Number Five on this countdown goes to Della.  The last post was from October 2, 2011, and a day later after my poem and "I blame Chris C. if this sucks" story, I posted Part Three of this story.

The following day I posted Part Nineteen to The Strange Adventures of Princess Blue (which I last posted on October 3, 2011). 

I'm hoping it makes my "Girlfriend" Kathy W. happy.  (Perhaps I'll make it into a children's book someday... maybe... perhaps... I have no idea.)

The day after I posted more "strange adventures" for Princess Blue, I posted Part Five of Tales of the Unemployed and Unloved.  (In case you can't tell, I started writing this story whilst depressed.  Ain't life grand?  It hands you shitty lemons, and you make stories out of them.)

Where's my beer?

Found it.

(gulp, gulp...)  Ahhhh, refreshing.

Where was I?  Ah yes, I was where I was now... which is working on something for Real-Life I (just) Made Up.  This story blog had originally started out to be something completely different and is now kind of like "Tales..." but not.  As it is, I'm trying not to have anything weird happen in that story since everything else seems to have some odd angle or twist in it (for those familiar with my writing know what I'm talking about), but it's really hard.  For some reason, my brain wants to take reality and shake it up a bit.  Right now, when I think of that story, it makes me think of Lemony Snicket's "Series of Unfortunate Events". 

I keep thinking of the first chapter of the first book "Bad Beginnings":

If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book. In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle. This is because not very many happy things happened in the lives of the three Baudelaire youngsters. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire were intelligent children, and they were charming, and resourceful, and had pleasant facial features, but they were extremely unlucky, and most everything that happened to them was rife with misfortune, misery, and despair. I'm sorry to tell you this, but that is how the story goes.

Granted my story is about a girl named Arwyn and not the three Baudelaire orphans, but I get an "unhappy ending" feeling about Arwyn and her story just the same.  For some reason when my brain entertains the notion of making the story weird and fantasy horror.  It's like she can't be happy or happy things can't happen to her if I keep it in reality.  There has to be some strange otherworldly reason she's suffering and once she slays the dragon or finds the magical tome or save some kingdom from an age old curse... then, and only then, will she find true happiness and happiness will be thrust upon her.

Did anyone else read the subtext of that bit as "the writer's got issues and needs serious help"?  Or was that just me?

Anyway...

I have three more story blogs (one not so story blog) to write something for, and everything will be all caught up as of this month.

Wow!  I'm kind of excited. 

Hello sense of accomplishment.  Wanna buy me a drink?

I know I've babbled about this before, but it'd be nice if I had followers/subscribers/whatever.  There are days when I post something, and I feel a little lonely and sad since I know only a few people read the stuff I write and they leave comments on Facebook or Google+ or Twitter where I post notices saying "Hey!  Come read this thing I wrote!"

Oh to have followers.

Oh to have a writing job.

Oh to have a job.

Anyway, enough daydreaming. 

I've taken my notes on the next story blog and have a few ideas, but I have some plans this weekend so I might not get to it until a few days from now.

Or if my insomnia takes hold again (as it has been A LOT lately), maybe sooner than that.

All righty.  Time to plot... and (maybe) sleep.

Later my lovelies!

Have Goodness!
Rae