Wish I May, Wish I Might...

Rob: I'm tired of the fantasy, because it doesn't really exist. And there are never really any surprises, and it never really...

Laura: Delivers?

Rob: Delivers. And I'm tired of it. And I'm tired of everything else for that matter. But I don't ever seem to get tired of you, so...

-from the movie "High Fidelity"

So here we go. Trying to do this Monday, Wednesday, Friday thing that I proposed in my last post.

Woo hoo! Look at me and my follow through. I'm awesome.

In any case, let's do the update thing, shall we? It's not as impressive as the last post due to me updating everything from the past few months, but hey... it's something dammit. *shakes proud fist weakly into the air*

• Arwyn is at part fifteen
• Blue is at part thirty

See? What did I tell you? Not that impressive. (For some reason, I want to make a "I'm a grower, not a shower" joke, but I'll leave it alone for now.

I'm currently at the office on my lunch so I'm trying to get this post done as quickly as possible due to wanting to try and work on something else before the hour is up. I am being simple eating a bagel and drinking some Dunkin Donuts coffee that a co-worker made and shared with me that I added a packet of hot chocolate to.

Oh yeah, can you hear the cellulite cheer at the extra fat coming its way?

If you haven't guessed by my tone, I'm not in the best of moods which perhaps is effecting my writing. (Gee, Eintstein, ya think?) Usually in my gloomier moods, poetry just seeps out of me, but I guess at this moment in time I'm just not bummed enough. 

As far as regular writing goes, I keep thinking about my story idea for LEVERAGE, but that needs to cool itself while I get a grasp on the whole "I got two novels that need to be finished" thing.

I've also been tired a lot lately. Well, probably no more than usual, but Saturday I had a sinus migraine that if just left alone to rest would have gone away on its own, but my landlady and her husband were gone, and the dogs were barking at every little thing - piece of dust, people passing by, their own breathing, the ozone layer...

Man it was annoying.

I jumped ship, grabbed some grub and then headed to the cheapy theatres to watch a movie.

I've been in a mood for a while now... a slightly depressive dip happened last night when I got home from work when a friend texted me.

JessFace: Whatchoo want for 'mas?

me: (after starting/stopping/deleting snarky comments and really thinks about, replies honestly) Better.

JF: Sheesh. That's an awful lot of profundity. I thought you'd say socks or maybe a double-knit sweater. What'sa matter my love?

me: Sorry. Just in a bit of a mood. When you asked what I wanted, all I could thik of was a better this or that. (pause) No worries though. Gifts aren't necessary. Thanks for thinking of me though.

JF: I'm sorry you're feeling icky. I love you, and I'd fix it in a fart beat if I could. (I think she meant "heartbeat", but either's appropriate here.) -- Well, I'm going to get you SOMETHING no matter what. It's up to you whether it's something you actually like or something totally dumb and a waste of my monet!

me: Monet?

JF: *money. I don't have any classic paintings.

me: I trust you honey. If you get me something, I'm sure whatever you get me will be dandy.

JF: 6 foot inflatable vag it is!

me: You make me think of the cat in the J&S's house for Halloween. (the giant decorative inflatable kind)

JF: Haaa! Well, I'm sure I can find a black one for you.

me: Sweet!

Okay, so perhaps I didn't need to include the whole thing, but I figured the first half was Bummersville, and that the latter half would make up for the first half.

I just feel a little stuck, and that bothers me. I seem to have plateued years ago to where I am now. Actually, I was a little better, but I feel like I'm stuck in this place and can't seem to pass it (and I really want to). I want more, I want a life that seems fuller than what I have now. There are selfish things that I want like a better complexion and a slimmer figure to the point where I can fit into a single number size item or be comfortable in a medium-sized t-shirt. There are other things that I want... like to be more financially stable/secure, to have some of the life I had before, to have more energy, to have my own place, to have my car fixed, to pay back my debts...

Then there's personal, lonely stuff that's in its own catergory.

Back when I first moved here and was looking for work, I was available for whatever. But that's what being jobless affords you: availability. But then when I got the job at the bookstore, I was psyched. It was a BOOKSTORE for frak's sake. The only step up from that would be working for PIXAR or ILM or a game company doing voices, etc.

But over time whether it be my weird all over the place schedule versus my lack of transportation at the time, people just stopped asking me to hang out. It wasn't because they didn't like me. I keep thinking it was because they got used to me saying "no" because I was working a retail job.

Now I'm experiencing some weird combo of available and not available responses. Now that I have a job that doesn't have a set schedule, I get people calling or texting me asking me what I'm up to or if I want to hang out. I simply say "at work" and that's usually that. Also due to being scheduled for a lot of closing shifts, I'm stuck sleeping during the day to prep for my next evening shift. And I work for a delivery company so for closing shifts, I need to stick around until the last driver is done. Sometimes that's around 9pm. Sometimes it's later.

I'm just getting touchy, feeling like I'm missing out on stuff. I've been missing out on my weekly Thursday and Monday night meetings. And then being as out of the loop as I feel, I see posts on Facebook of my friends going off and doing stuff with each other, and I feel mixtures of jealousy and anger - not intense high levels and never at them, but I just wish I can be a part of stuff.

I guess it stems from that popular thing I've always wanted. I think I was popular back in Kindergarten, but other than that, I've always been the chic who's good for a laugh or a dirty joke or will watch your pets or water your plants or...

Never mind. I'm babbling. And whining. And being stupid.

I don't mind doing these things. My friends have been there for me when I really needed a pick me up or a hand. They've shown me a lot of love in my times of need, and it makes me almost tear up when I think about how awesome they are.

I just want to be the big deal for a change. I want my life to be a big deal. I want to feel bright and shiny... and not just when I'm with my friends or my family. I want to feel good when I'm by myself, and I can't recall the last time I felt that way. Normally I distract myself with Hulu or YouTube, but when it's just me and my cat - no noise to distract my thoughts and feelings - I feel... meh.

And I'm tired of feeling meh.

Everyone around me seemed to be at the same spot and we were just working our little mojo and getting more and more juice in life, but now everyone seems to have drank the turbo and I'm left in the dust.

So to speak. (Did any of that before make any sense? If not, you can blame that whole stream of consciousness crap.)

Anyway, my lunch hour is almost up, so I need to sign off on this post. But yeah, to make it come full circle, I feel like this mood that I'm in is hindering my writing... or maybe there's just nothing there. Sorry to sound all Emo-dumb, but you've all caught me during an emotional low. Hopefully I'll be better next post or so.

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

What I Lack In Sleep...

Fade in on a girl

With a hunger for fame,

And a face and a name to remember...

-from the song "Let Me Be Your Star" from the television series "SMASH"

I REALLY need to get this posting thing in check. For goodness sake! Maybe I should do updates every... Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

What do y'all think of that? (And by "y'all", I mean all my imaginary subscribers that I pretend read this blog or any of my stuff.) *grin*

The last time I posted it was my birthday... (counts on fingers)... which was a couple weeks ago. My birthday timeframe was nice. As much as I would love a huge friend and family bash to celebrate my hella old ass's continual aging process, it's not going to work out since my day is so close to that of the feast of pilgrims, Native Americans, and turkeys... and people are usually preoccupied with planning for the holiday to have any spare time to have birthday cake. Though I will give props to those that reached out to me and wanted to spend time with me on my blessed day (they know who they are). The best part of my day was when my niece called and sang me "happy birthday". (I love that little lovely to pieces.)

Turkey Day was faboo! I left work the Wednesday before the holiday (which was around 8pm), made a pit-stop at 7-Eleven for drinks and snacks, and then headed to the 'No (aka Fresno), spent all day Turkey Day, then headed home Friday during the day since I worked a few hours closing at work. I worked the next day closing. After my shift, I headed back to Fresno since a co-worker asked me to swap with her which left me with three days off. Spent a lot of my holiday/days off with my niece who is the bestest little creature EVER!!!

But enough bragging. On to updates.

Oh crap! How to update in this post...

Okay, I'm just going to review since I've been behind on my updates for various reasons, and at present, I still have November updates and have not started on anything for December. *headdesk*

So, to review and update at the same time, the past few months went a little like this (in alphabetical order)...

• Arwyn: September - Part Thirteen; October - Part Fourteen; November - Part Fifteen
• Blue: September - Part Twenty-Eight; October - Part Twenty-Nine; November - Part Thirty
• Della: September - Part Eleven; October - Part Twelve; November - Part Thirteen
• Enyo: September - Part Nineteen; October - Part Twenty; November - Part Twenty-One
• Kai: September - Part Seventeen; October - Part Eighteen; November - Part Nineteen
• Kearie: September - Part Fifteen/Suspicions and Curiosities; October - Part Sixteen/Grasping for Sanity; November - Part Seventeen/Plan of Attack
• Nedea: September - Part Seventeen; October - Part Eighteen; November - Part Nineteen
• Noemi: September - Part Seventeen/Where to Now?; October - Part Eighteen/Piece of Pie; November - Part Nineteen/???
• Penelope: September - Part Fifteen/Mother Dearest; October - Part Sixteen/Four's A Crowd; November - Part Seventeen/???
• Sanya: September - Part Eighteen/In the Middle of Nowhere; October - Part Nineteen/Evading Pursuit; November - Part Twenty/Someplace New
• a boy, a girl, and a line...: September - Prompt 20/A Day with Gert & Bert; October - Prompt 21/Lost Soul Found; November - Prompt 22/???
• Stoically Challenged: September - ???; October - ???; November - ???
• The Curly Muse: September - Scene: After the Coffee Shop, Part Two; October - Scene: After the Coffee Shop, Part Three; November - ???
• Everything At Least Once: September - Blue Diamond Almond - Toasted Coconut; October - Angie's Kettle Corn; November - Cofresh Hummus Chips - Creamy Dill

Wow. That LOOKS like a lot for the past three months, doesn't it? It doesn't FEEL like a lot though. 

Anyway...

There isn't that much left to report really. Just wish that I had more energy than I do so I can write more and read more and just... DO more.

Seeing my family over the holidays was fabulous. Hanging with my niece is a really great mood pickup. I could hug her for days!

Maybe if I could just bottle that up so when I'm not around her and get in a mood, I can bring myself instantly out of it. Like one of those 5 Hour Energy Drinks that's comprised of my niece's awesomesauceness!!!

I shall talk to you smoochy boochies later.

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Ahoy! There Is Writing Afoot!

Ginger: You're not too good at this golf thing, are you, Stan?

Stanley: You're fucking up my chi.

-from the movie "Swordfish"

Same thing can be said of me and my writing. *sigh*

It's been a while since I've posted.

Shame shame, every knows my name.

BAD WRITER!!! NO BISCUIT!!!

So let's going with the updatey stuff, shall we?

• Della is at part twelve and part thirteen
• Nedea is at part eighteen and part nineteen
• Sanya is at part nineteen with Evading Pursuit
• The Curly Muse is current with Scene: After the Coffee Shop, Part Three (still have no idea where this is going)
• Everything At Least Once got an Angie's Kettle Corn post as well as a Cofresh Hummus Chips - Creamy Dill post
• Kai is at part seventeen, part eighteen and part nineteen (most proud of this accomplishment since it was taking a while to review the story and make notes)

I also posted on here a couple times last month... so that's something, I guess.

I've also started updating November stuff, so that's an extra "booyah" to stick it my "giddyup".

(Yeah. Don't ask. I don't know where that came from.)

I'm behind on Stoically Challenged. As it turns out, I only have two homework assignments from Alithea S left. I'm trying to figure out if I want to retire that blog or continue with... something. I dunno.

In other news, NaNoWriMo is two-thirds over. I only personally know of one person who is participating in the novel writing extravaganza - my friend Aaron C. He's letting me read his work as he adds to it. (As it is, I'm behind on that, too, which I feel bad about, but he seems just fine regardless.) It's rather good. My attention is held throughout the story so huzzah to him as a first timer.

A part of me really wanted to do it this year, but I just had too much writing on my plate as is. Also with the holiday and today... it's always too much of a distraction. Maybe in the future when I've found my writing stride and have some author mojo going on...

I'm still looking at next year. We shall see.

...
...
...


So... today is my birthday. Just gonna get that out of the way right now.

Nothing much happening today. To be honest, I kinda forgot about my birthday this year actually. I never really think of it during the year and then when November comes around, I think, "Oh, my birthday's coming up," and then go about my day like I just sneezed or something ordinary like that.

It's not that I don't think highly of myself (despite what some may think), but my birthday has been more unspectacular than spectacular in my life so I've grown to not make a big thing out of my day.

But then, there's that part of me that when the day actually arrives expects something to happen... something a little special.

The crappy thing about having a birthday so late in the year is that it mixes with the holidays. There were moments when festivities were postponed to doubley-celebrate it with Thanksgiving. Now with my mother's husband who's birthday is a few days after mine, we celebrate the holiday as well as both our birthday in which we usually get a cake with  both our names on it. I'm fine with sharing a cake, but it all just seems so lackluster.

Am I sounding selfish? I don't mean to be, I guess it's like that whole breakup thing. Things end for a couple and then the next time you see them and they're with someone, it stings a little. You don't care, but then you do. Same with my birthday. I'm leaning toward the not caring so much, but then I do a little bit when the day actually arrives.

In general, I'm a firm believer in a person's birthday being THEIR DAY! Meaning the day should be cool, fun and drama-free. They are the star of the show. Whatever crap you've got going on, tuck it away or don't come around if you might add doom and gloom to whatever the festivities may be.

I really should get off my soapbox now.

So in conclusion, I'm old. *curtsies*

Moving on....

Okay so plans for tonight seem to be heading over to Kathy W's for booze and movies. Dawn S, Jess F, and Ron O will most likely be coming over for company.

Right now I'm at work, and it's a little slow due to the holiday though we do get our crazy patches of business. In my opinion, you should get your birthday off as a paid holiday, but alas... I work today until 8pm. The only plus to working is that it's a little slow, and I get to work on my writing at a desk computer that doesn't hurt my back from sitting on my bed for too long.

Is that sad?

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Some Writing & Other Stuff

Sarah Ross: Wow. This guy's insane.

Frank Moses: Well, he thought he was the subject of a secret government mind control project. As it turns out, he really was being given doses of LSD for 11 years.

Sarah Ross: Well in that case, he looks great. Yeah.

Frank Moses: Fantastic...

-from the movie "RED"

 Brownie points go to me for actually playing catch up on some writing.

Brownie points eaten by evil trolls who know that I'm still not completely caught up.

So I'm sitting at work on my lunch hour doin' like I usually do and write during this time. (It's how I roll, yo!) I thought about working on a story, but to make myself feel better, I decided to do a main blog post instead.

Without further ado (and to make myself feel better), here are my recent writing accomplishments (in no particular order)...

As far as September story blog updates go:

• a boy, a girl, and a line... was updated with "A Day With Bert & Gert" (Prompt 20 courtesy of Darby P)

Then the non-story blog:

• Everything At Least Once - I wrote about Toasted Coconut Blue Diamond Almonds.

Moving on to October:

• Enyo is at part twenty
• Noemi is at part eighteen
• Kearie is at part sixteen with "Grasping for Sanity"
• Penelope is at part sixteen with "Four's A Crowd"
• a boy, a girl, and a line... was updated with "Lost Soul Found" (Prompt 21 courtesy of Alithea S)
• The Curly Muse was updated with yet another "Coffee Shop" installment
• The Strange Adventures of Princess Blue is at part twenty-nine
• Tales of the Unemployed and Unloved is at part thirteen and part fourteen

Now with all my Saturday Night Fever strutting out of the way, here's a list of stuff I still need to do before the end of the month.

• September updates: Kai and Stoically Challenged.
• October updates: Nedea, Della, Sanya, Kai, Stoically Challenged, and Everything at Least Once

I had printed out "Kai" and took it home to review just so I could take notes on some things I needed to clarify before moving forward. And then I need to find something to write about in "Everything", and I haven't even looked at "Stoically..."

Need to find a way to re-energize so I can do everything I want to during the day. Is there some healthy form of crack that I could imbibe that would actually take hold and assist me in my ventures?

Yeah, I didn't think so either.

Nothing too new or exciting happened to me recently. Thursday I went with friends to watch "Birdemic" courtesy of Rifftrax. (For those that remember MST3K, you'll be familiar with the guys of Rifftrax.) Oh the movie was terrible though the funny commentary made it bearable as did the company. (I was surprised to find that not only was Birdemic was a recently made movie, that there's also a sequel set to release next year.)

Pardon me one moment. I need to roll my eyes.

Saturday was a Halloween party that I went to after running some errands for a wedding I was a "+1" for. I got my eyebrows waxed, my earpiercing restretched (apparently piercing holes shrink if you don't wear jewelry in them for a while), got tights, found a nice Middle Eastern market, grabbed a snack which I enjoyed in my car with the windows rolled down while I read a book, debated on a nap, and decided to treat myself to a cigar before heading on my last errand to look for teasticks (Cost Plus didn't have them or knew what I was talking about though I found them online later) and then to the party.

Ahhh, cigars. I decided to try something new... a Drew Estate Java. It was lovely. First square rolled one that I tried. Usually I go round and flavored. My favorites are CAO's. I really like their Moonstance, Cherrybomb and Gold Honey. I've also had (and liked) some of their non-flavored stogies. Other cigars I've tried have been by ACID, Esteban Carreras, Tatiana, Gurhka, Al Capone, Arturo Fuente and some others that I can't remember at the moment. Some I've shared with my brother Lynn (who I normally stogie out with along with a good beer or cup of tea). For me it started out with flavored cigarillos, but once in a while, I'll light a up a fat one (aka standard cigar size), but I don't do it often. While enjoying my Java (Maduro I believe though I'm not sure at the moment since the cigar bands are in my car cup holder), I thought that I needed to broaden my cigar horizons... so if anyone has any suggestions for a girl on limited funds at the moment to on some cigars she should try... feel free to let me know.

The party was fun. I drank and chatted with friends and snacked on some deviled eggs, some chips and some pork that was made to look like a charred child's leg (well done Dawn S, well done, indeed).

Achievement Unlocked: Tasty Faux Limb of a Youngling.

Sunday was "be a girl" day. I was my friend Kim M's date to a friend's wedding. I met her at her place, got ready, helped the mother of the groom get ready, and then headed out to the venue. It was a pretty set-up though the television in the lounge playing the World Series was kind of preoccupying everyone's attention.

It was a lovely ceremony. Dinner was great. Open bar so I partook in a lot of beers and one glass of red wine (I believe it was a Cabernet).

When I got home, my feet wanted to detach from my legs and go on vacation. Today my feet were fine but my calves were a little grumpy. Overall, I was a girl for several hours so I think I've filled my quota for the year.

Made a pit stop visit tonight at the weekly Del Taco gathering.

Tomorrow is pumpkin carving with friends.

After work on Wednesday will most likely be cocktails and scary movies.

Other than that, it's been... meh (a good kind of meh, but still meh).

NaNoWriMo starts in a few days, and I'm a little bummed I won't be participating. I did it back in 2010, but ideally it's not a good month for me. it's my birthday month as well as Thanksgiving. And now with work, my energy levels are crap so... yeah. Also I have no real solid novel ideas to work on this year. Most of the ideas I have are only scenes or bits of dialogue. Plus I have two novels (one I started a few years ago and the one I did for NaNoWriMo 2010).

There's a guy that I work with (who I know through some mutual friends, Aaron C) who for the past couple weeks was working on reading a Gene Wolfe series: two tradepaperbacks, each trade comprised of two novels in the series. When I didn't see him with a book, I asked if he was done, and he said yes. That's when he told me he'd be taking a little reader vacation since he had been convinced to participate in NaNoWriMo this year. He'll be writing something in the Urban Fantasy genre. I wished him luck, but ever since then, I started thinking how I was a little jealous of him.

I'd like to participate though realistically it's just not feasible this year. Perhaps next year after I'm a little more grounded and I've unearthed some infinite fountain of energy that only I can tap into that will not kill me only assist me in my life's endeavours.

I'll just wait until next year. Maybe I'll have an idea by then. LOL!

Okay, this post is taking up to much time. I'm currently experiencing "powerloss" (which started the night of the wedding) which is making me hate my body even more than I already do. Ugh.

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Playing Catch-Up...

But enough about me, let's talk about you... what do YOU think of me?
-CC Bloom from the movie "Beaches"

All right. I thought I'd update you on what I've done for September thus far.

So... in no particular order...

• Sanya is at part eighteen with "In the Middle of Nowhere"
• Noemi is at part seventeen with "Where to Now?"
• The Curly Muse was updated with another "Coffee Shop" installment
• Penelope is at part fifteen with "Mother Dearest"
• Kearie is at part fifteen with "Suspicions and Curiosities"
• Enyo is at part nineteen
• The Strange Adventures of Princess Blue is at part twenty-eight
• Nedea is at part seventeen
• Della is at part eleven

I'm still behind on...

• a boy, a girl, and a line... [Currently working on a prompt my friend Darby P gave me which will be for September. Don't have my notes with me to see what prompt will be for this month.]
• Tales of the Unemployed and Unloved [I honestly have NO idea where to go from here. Well, okay, I do... but I've got a cute guy talking to the main character chic. They say write what you know. That doesn't happen to me. Oh the thrills of fiction and fantasy.]
• Lost and Found [At present, I have sixteen parts to this story. I recently  
• Stoically Challenged
• Everything At Least Once

Oh good gravy! That looks like a lot, doesn't it? At least, that's what a part of my brain is concentrating on... waxing the positive, focusing on the good and moving forward. Staying positive. Yup, yup. That's me.

Do you know how hard that is to do? Be positive? And stay that way? I'm good at doing that on behalf of my friends... and I mean it with them with my words of encouragement and jokes and smiles, etc. Why is it so hard on your own? Even if you have people telling you you're fabulous and awesome and talented, etc, you just can't believe it. You think they are completely full of it.

[looks above at bullet points] Maybe I'm just compensating? Trying to make you think I did a lot when I really didn't.

[looks at bullet points] Does that look like a lot to any of you?

In any case, right now I'm at work on lunch (which is almost over actually). I usually write during this time taking sweet advantage of a desk computer and appropriate back support as well as a big screen and full-size keyboard. I usually get one story blog update in during the hour, two if blessed by my muses.

Drank the last of the coffee in the work pot this morning. Sugar and powdered creamer (too lazy to check the fridge for creamy creamer) did not make the cup of jo' any better than what I thought it would be. Scrounged up some change to buy a can of Pepsi. The cool sweet carbonation is refreshing, but it causes my mind to stray to my childhood. 

I was an RC Cola kid... which evolved into a Dr. Pepper chic.

I'm talking about soda? Damn, I need some sleep.

Among various other things that have been keeping me from blissful rest (none of which are happy distractions), my cat has been a tremendous pain in the ass. She has been keeping me awake between the hours of when I try to go to sleep and when I'm supposed to wake up for work. I've been (for the time being) feeding her once in the morning and once at night until payday kicks around and I can get a bag of food to put in her feeder. I think I've spoiled her with the readily available food (which she usually just noshes on for a minute before heading back to her spot on the bed to nap or plot to take over the world). She doesn't eat much whenever she does, but now in the middle of the night it seems like she'll pass by the food dish, see it's empty, and whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine! 

The evil part of my brain imagines punting her across the room as if I'm making a winning field goal, but no... she's my fuzzy princess. Instead I try to breathe, count to ten... do whatever I need to do to chill the FRAK out. 

She yowls in the morning and at night constantly disrupting any sleep that I managed to snag from the ether. Her wailing keeps me up, and then I get worried that it'll wake or piss off my housemates. My landlady's room is next to mine, and she keeps her doggies in the room with her... the doggies that bark at EVERYTHING! So the last thing I want is for my cat to whine and have them hear it and respond in an irritating woofing chorus.

Can't wait to get her kibble this Friday and shut her the FRAK up! 

Maybe then I can actually get some sleep! 

...

...

...

... says the insomniac.

But then there's this lingering cough from the cold I had a couple weeks ago.

*sigh*

*headdesk*

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Writer Seeks More Energy & Time to Write

Billie Frechette: What do you want?

John Dillinger: Everything. Right now.

-from the movie "Public Enemies"

So yeah. It's been a month... ish.

But really - I can explain!

I know working is not an excuse, but given I've been sick as well as have constant insomnia issues... now adding a job into the mix is REALLY frakkin with my body and energy levels.

Plus side to the job though is that sometimes at work, I have free time at the office where I'm allowed to play around on the interwebs. SOOOO... I write! And it is a little more comfortable sitting at a desk and typing on a full "grown up" keyboard versus the minibook set-up and no desk I have at home. (Sitting on my bed for so long hurts the HELL outta my back!)

I also had power cord issues where the original power cord for the minibook decided to commit suicide and not work for me anymore. I really didn't have the funds to buy a new one, but it was really needed in order to write as well as just surf the net in general, so I bit the bullet and bought one... and a little fan to place beneath it to prevent from overheating.

(BREAK TIME: Grabbed a Red Bull.)

Okay, where was I? Ah yes!

So pretty much sickness + insomnia + no power for the minibook to write/post anything with = LATE STORY BLOG POSTS!!!

And that makes me sad... but I will survive. (cue Gloria Gaynor)

At present, I'm working on story blog updates... of which I have FIVE left (but that's just for September - I'll post those updates later). I just thought I'd take some time to write a main blog update here to let all my readers (I'm pretending people actually read my stuff) know that I haven't died or been abducted my aliens with probes who don't buy you a drink first.

Yeah, I'm babbling.

Can I make a confession? I am kinda proud of some of the stuff I wrote for the September updates... and that's saying A LOT since I am my own worst critic and most of the time think my stuff is (insert creative disgusting expletive here), but there are times - those very rare occasions - where I impress myself or make myself giggle or just mentally (or sometimes physically) high-five myself.

On a sad note, I am behind on some other things as well as have decided to postpone others.

I owe my friend Jillian S a story, but due to complications mentioned above as well as too much writing on my plate as is, I'm hella behind. But then again, I think she knows this since I've written her a story for her birthday before a few years ago, and it became a belated birthday story. (This unfortunately will be the same thing.)

As far as the daily blog story stuff based on the idea by the lovely Shazzbaa, I think I will postpone that project/idea until the beginning of the new year. I would still like to do it, but I want to get a groove going with work and home and my other writing projects. I was getting behind as it was and only had written perhaps two weeks worth when I stealthily started it back on September 1st, but yeah... I'm most likely going to delete those entries and start afresh. I haven't decided if, like Shazzbaa did, use real names. It's already based off of my life, but I renamed everyone in the previous version of it. But I have a couple months to decide, right?

There was also the 100 day blog post thing for another blog site I'm part of (though don't really go to much anymore sadly). It was to pick something you could blog about for 100 days (not necessarily consecutively, but you get the jist). I have picked a topic (need to find my list again and refine it). Maybe I'll start that during the new year, too.

(ahhhh Red Bull... the juice of the gods... and late-night closing employees)

All righty then. I'm presently at the office (can we say CLOSING SHIFT?), and my lunch is almost over so I think I'll sign off on this post right about now.

So much writing... so many ideas... so little time to do it all in...

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae

Babbling Writer Fail

Edgar Allan Poe: What's going on? 

Detective Fields: I'm Detective Fields. Please, sit down, Mr. Poe. 

Edgar Allan Poe: Yes. The infamous Detective Fields. Am I under arrest?
Detective Fields: No... not just yet.
Edgar Allan Poe: Then I'd rather stand! It makes it easier to leave!

-from the movie "The Raven"

Yeah, I know. I'm such a bad person. I apologize. Let's get the slaps on the wrist and various chastisement out of the way so you can all get it out of your system before moving on.

Don't worry. I'll wait.

*insert JEOPARDY theme or standard elevator music here*

(after MUCH time has passed)

You done? We good? Okay. Now to move on to the rest of the post.

Sadly there really isn't much to tell on the whole WRITING front.

(Hey! No more of that! I gave y'all ample time at the beginning of the post. If you didn't get it out then, tough. You missed your chance.)

Now where was I?

Good news is that I've been working. (Oh NOW you're all nice. I see how YOU are!)

Yeah. I got a job. I'm still going through the trial/training process, but I have a job that is reasonably full-time and give me somewhat of a regular schedule... which makes my insomnia ever-so-happy. But even though I'm working, THIS is what I was dreading.

The whole "no writing" thing.

Ugh, it's KILLING me. I have ideas in my head, but I'm so frakkin tired, I pop open the minibook and all I have energy for is mindless entertainment... and sometimes I don't even have enough energy to do THAT!

I started a new writing project, the one I told you about that's loosely based on this idea by Shazzbaa. I was doing good... for the first week, but then that was when I was technically still unemployed waiting for paperwork to go through on my job and all that. Now I get up in the morning, fight for the bathroom, deal with my whiny cat whose used to me being home more often that I have been... etc, etc, etc.

Why can't I just get paid to SLEEP and WRITE and BE LAZY?!?!?!?!

When I want to write, I can't cuz my mind (which is racing with ideas and the WANT to write) does not have the overall energy or motor function to make the rest of my body comply to my writer wants and needs. And on top of THAT -- I am plagued by FANFICTION!

I am not a FANFIC writer by any means. Alithea S is WAY better at that than I am... as is Jillian S... but I just can't help it when I watch a series and get into the stories. Occasionally my mind thinks of people that would fit into that world. Most of the time it's just an idea and that's that, but every once in a while (like right now), I get an idea stuck in my noggin that will not go away.

This idea has to do with the show LEVERAGE!!! (and that's all I'm going to say about that)

Normally when I get this kind of pestering idea in me, I just purge it by writing it out and BOOM! it's gone. But usually it's a scene -- not a full-flung, long-ass, season long... thing. And due to the tired, energy-less problems, I can't get my shit together enough to write anything substantial.

But you're writing this post.

That's a little different. This is just babble. And that GAWD you are not here to look over my typing skills cuz let me tell you... it's quite sad right now. It's like MY LEFT FOOT meets BOXING HELENA -- and we all know how great of typists THEY were.

Yeah. Made a joke. Did ya laugh? I hope so... though if you didn't? Meh. I'm too tired to truly care.

Currently taking a break at work and running on autopilot -- doing that stream of consciousness kind of writing. I'm surprised I'm not writing in tongues or something.

This is still in ENGLISH, right?

I'm hoping I'll be writing soon... though I did feel that since it had been a while since I'd posted on my ACTUAL blog (aren't you just LOVING the CAPS? LOL!), I thought I would try and whip something out... and not in a dirty porno kind of way.

OHHHHH!!! Dirty joke. LOVE IT! (even if I'm the only one who's laughing... on the inside... like a crazy person)

So yeah, I haven't started any of my story blog updates for September... which makes me sad, but I'm sure I can make the deadline. (How's THAT for positive self-reinforcement?) I've also been reading, listening to audiobooks (since I have a commute now and all), and trying to catch up on my Hulu-watching. I've also been going to various friend functions and drinking... heavily (like ya do).

I haven't been to a movie in a while. REALLY want to see The Words since A) it looks good, and B) it's a writer movie.

I love writer movies. If any of you know of any writer movies -- whether they be bios like "Sylvia" or "In Cold Blood" or just plain about a writer like "Ruby Sparks" (still need to see that by the way) -- feel free to leave a comment and let me know.

Okay. I think I've babbled on long enough. Love y'all. What's that thing from Star Search? Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars?

Yeah.

No.

Whatever.

Hugs and high-fives all around.

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae