Goodnight Sweetheart, Well... It's Time To Go...

"My hands are locked up tight in fists
My mind is racing, filled with lists
of things to do and things I've done
Another sleepless night's begun"

~from the song "Who Needs Sleep?" by The Barenaked Ladies

Hello my darlings!

I will try to make this quick seeing as I'm sleepy and am hoping to fall into Slumberland soon after I do this post (which I've been mentally saying to myself that I've been going to do for the past few days).

But that's neither here nor there.

As y'all know, I've been participating in the Clarion West Write-A-Thon since Sunday - June 19th (aka Father's Day).  My goal was to write (at least) 500 words a day in attempts to add on to (and/or possibly finish) my NaNoWriMo novel from last year.

Let me update you of my daily progress, shall I?

Sunday, June 19th - 529
Monday, June 20th - 588
Tuesday, June 21st - 694
Wednesday, June 22nd - 545
Thursday, June 23rd - 619
Friday, June 24th - 578
Saturday, June 25 - 623

Not counting this Sunday, I've done a little over 4k in words.  If I actually did 500/day, my "at least" weekly limit would be 3,500, and I've passed that by at least a day's worth of words.

*high-five myself!*

I really need to organize and plot out my work.  As it is, most of my novel as of last year and this year (pre-Write-A-Thon) is in one place.  And then there's my thumb drive.

What I have is my work in one document with notes in places I couldn't think of what to say or how to say it but knew what I wanted to "kinda/sorta" happen there.

As for 500/day bits, to help keep track, I've been saving a document per day, and each day I write a new scene or more of a old one (that I can remember without looking at the thumb drive or whatever).  Most days I go until my brain shuts off.  Others I just go until I hit at least 500 and then call it a night due to my being brain/body/soul tired.

In all honesty, I don't necessarily fall right to sleep when I shut down, turn off the lights and tuck myself in.  Sometimes I just lay there, unable to fall asleep.

Oh to fall asleep when you wanted to and for how long you wanted to.  Wow!  What a super power THAT would be!!! 

In other writing news, I tried writing that 700 (maximum) piece regarding an old love.  Only one comes to mind, and I've already written about him, but now I'm trying to write it differently in 700 words or less.

I think I can do it... maybe...

There are other writing bits that I'm looking into, but I think for them to truly pan out (especially one in particular), I'm going to have to work on breaking down some inner walls of paranoia and fear and start boosting my self-confidence.

Trying to compartmentalize my present fears and drama and keep that separate from my writing since it's a little toxic.  The two are like oil and vinegar (if you know what I mean.)

Okay, my eyes are getting watery and droopy, and I keep slouching more and more as I write.  Oh good gravy.  Goodnight y'all!

Later my lovelies!

Have Goodness!
Rae

A Full Plate of Life & A Whole Lot of Stress

Will: I read your book last night.
Sean: So you're the one.  

~from the movie "Good Will Hunting"

It's been a small amount of time.  Not too long, but a bit of time has passed since my last post.  Nothing much has happened since then in the ways of writing.

I still have my two novels that I'm working on (the one I started a couple years ago as well as the one I started for NaNoWriMo last year) though lately it hasn't been so much writing as it has been thinking about writing.

I'm going through one of those stuck periods where I have all this crap going on in my head - some of it writing - and I can't seem to get it sorted so I can tap into that writing bit in my noggin and... you know... write.

I've also been sick which took a LOT out of me.  Usually it's just insomnia messing with me, but it's been my sinuses, my innards, my bones...

I got a cold from... somewhere.  I couldn't breathe and I couldn't stop coughing for the life of me.  I would have coughing fits constantly.  One night I coughed so hard, I brought up bile (didn't have much appetite during the bad days) and phlegm and other nasty things.  My chest hurt as did my back.  My throat ached and burned.  If I could talk at all, I sounded like a man or some deviant that would cause you to lock up your children and have 911 on speed dial.

Whenever I laid down, I'd start coughing.  Later I had to lay on my back because laying on my side would start a fit.  I got some cough suppressant and took double the dosage each time.  I think it kind of worked but the cough would always come back.

It eventually got better, lessening slowly as time went on.  Then it became that annoying dry cough that just wouldn't go away.

I joked that with all the coughing I was doing, I should at least have some "no pain, no gain" results to show for it.  In my reality, I should be sporting a six-pack right now.

But no... it's still a keg.  *sigh*

Also around this craptastic time, I experienced my power loss so that made everything extra special.  (Yes, that was sarcasm for those textually-nuance-inept.)

I hate being sick.  Congestion made it hard to read due to the pressure in my head and nose.  I couldn't even properly daydream or plot out storylines in my head since it hurt to try and conjure something and then a cough would erase all my hard work like Unicron or Galactus destroying worlds and realities.

Oh good gravy!  Did I just go there?

So power loss + sick + insomnia = no writing for yours truly.

The good news now is that I feel better, and I'm writing again.

I am presently trying to write a 700 word limit story for a contest due in a couple months as well as... (wait for it)... participating in Clarion West Write-A-Thon.  It started yesterday and goes until July 29th (I think).  People can sponsor me (translation: donate to Clarion West... the link I provided is to my personal page).

We were encouraged to create goals that were a little stretch for us.

My goal?

At a Terry Pratchett event, he spoke of how he tried to write everyday since he felt he couldn't truly call himself a writer if he didn't in fact write.  (Then he was just a lazy bum.  His words, not mine.)  His personal goal was to try and write at least 300 words a day.  I've actually tried to follow in his footsteps and have failed miserably.

So in setting my own personal goal, I made mine a daily goal of 500 words a day.

Yes, yes, yes... I know.  What have I gotten myself into?  And do I have enough alcohol for the journey?  (The answers are "I don't know" and "no".)

My first day I did 500 and change which causes me to high-five myself and my awesomeness, but it's merely day one, and I have so much stress in my life right now, I really wasn't sure if I wanted to do this or not.  I felt that perhaps it was just going to add more stress.

But hey... I'm attempting to remain positive that life will work out in my favor (the extreme sooner, the hella better), and this is my writing after all.  Writing is my passion, my blood... as is music, singing and dance are like my mind, body and soul.

Okay, I'm getting a little deep here.

What do I hope to gain from this little venture (all other stress and depression and grumbleyness aside)?

I'm hoping to get more work on my novel done.  I seem to reach a 100 - 150 page peak and then hit a brick wall.  That's where I was with my last novel and now this one from last November.  I'm hoping beyond hope that these next few weeks I can break through that wall with my mighty Thor hammer of awesomeness and get some work done on my novel to the point of completion.

I also hope to raise some money for Clarion West.  (So please click my name and donate to a worthy cause.  Writers/Writing FTW!!!)

I can do this.  I can.  I know I can.  I just need to get back into my groove.  I need to reconnect with my mojo.

I need to find my Thor hammer.

Hi. My name is Slacker. Please save your tomatoes until the end. Thank you.

If you *really* wanted to screw me up, you should've gotten to me *earlier*.
~Rob from the movie "High Fidelity"

It's been a whole month!

Yes. I know. I suck. But let me explain.

No wait. I just suck.

Frak the fact that I haven't truly written in a few weeks now.

Frak the fact that when I was writing, I didn't blog any (which you might be able to forgive since I was, in fact, WRITING, but I digress.)

Frak the fact that I was sick with allergies that made my head want to explode, my throat hoarse with nasal drippings, and my nose so crazy I was sneezing about every half-second.

Frak the fact that I've been insomnia's bitch for most (if not all) of last month.

Frak the fact that I took a weekend off to visit with my family (and visiting with them, I NEVER get any writing done... EVER.)  Just note NaNoWriMo last year.

Frak the fact that recently I had to deal with acid reflux, dehydration and allergies.

Frak all of that.

[looks at above]

Wow. That's a lot of frak.

And frak that I'm only single-spacing between sentences. Ohhh, I know, I'm a bad girl rebel without a clue.

Blah blah blah.

So I'm trying to get into the swing of things. Really I am. But there has been so much wear and tear on my body lately, my brain has this stream of creativity running along the back of it, and if I could just merely think my thoughts onto the page (whether written or typed), I'd have so much crap put down you could hardly shake a stick at it.

Where did that saying come from? The "stick shaking" one. Why the frak would you want to shake a stick at something. Sounds like you're just asking for trouble one way or the other if you ask me. You're either a tease or a troublemaker... and neither in a good way.

Onwards...

I think stress has got me licked lately (and again, not in a nice way). I'm not going to bore you with all the details of my life, but let's just say all is not well in my world. I need a leprechaun, a voodoo priestess, a shaman, a double-rainbow, a pot of gold, a horseshoe, a four-leaf clover and whatever anyone can find in order to get my life back in order (which it has been out of for quite some time).

But that's enough of that.

So aside from trying to figure things out in my novels, I have been having these dreams that have been weird yet also posing new story ideas... THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH MY CURRENT NOVEL PROJECTS!!!

The goal for the day is to head to the library, do some writing (including the dream whose memory will just not leave me alone), and make it closer to my goal of happy happy joy joy (aka finishing a novel). Still need to stake out some contests to enter in attempts to get published... you know, that whole GOAL of mine before my next birthday.

Yay! Let's hear it for the elderly! (To which, I mean ME!!!)

Anyway...

While away this weekend, I chatted with my fellow writing buddy Oscar, and it got my creative juices flowing again. He's one of my writing pals that has actually gone to a writing conference. Other friends of mine (Chris R. and Maggie, for example) have gone to Clarion. Yeah, I'm jealous. If I had that kind of time and fundage, I would totally go, but I don't so...

*whimper whimper sob whimper*

Writing conferences and workshops are something that I would LOVE to do but then again are completely afraid of... so that's kind of why I want to do them. Perhaps it's a kick in the ass I need.

I've looked into taking a summer course or something for writing but for frak sakes, it seems if you want to do anything but writing commercials, you'll have to sell your sell your soul, your first born and a kidney made from the tears of Jesus just to make a class for a few weeks.

Frak me up the ass with a pine cone, that just seems pretty redonkulous to me!

I've had writing dates with Maggie before as well as her and Chris R. None with Oscar. The writing dates as with the chats with my friends have seemed to really help. Even if no writing gets done, at least the "round robin" discussion of it all gets the mind working and hopefully something good comes out of it.

I really did like sitting with Oscar and having a nice writers heart-to-heart. We need to do that more often.

And now it is up to me. None of my writer friends are nearby anymore. They were either out of town to begin with or moved away recently. Then there are some that just prefer to work on their own... which I can dig. I need some alone time to really get into something at first. But then once in the groove, I can just go with it.

So now I'm all alone.

Lonely writer looking for fellow writer companions to chat and write with.

Okay... it's getting a little late (ahem - 4:10am - ahem), and I really should be finishing this post and getting the hell out of dodge so I can finish the other stuff I've been wanting to finish before the sun rises.

Or maybe I'll just stay up all day until the end of the night. That might work... right?

Later my lovelies.

Have Goodness!
Rae